People With Kids at The Beach Vs. People Without Kids at The Beach

I have two boys. They require a crap-ton of preparation before heading to the beach. As much as I adore summer and the time I get with them, I find myself sometimes longing for the days when all it took to go to the beach was me, a towel and a good book. Those days are long gone, and I can tell you from experience it is pretty easy to pick out who has kids on a beach and who doesn’t. Kids don’t need to be anywhere near people to tell if they have them or not.

People with kids have two tons of crap with them. No really. They have boogie boards, kick boards, noodles, buckets, shovels, rakes, plastic things shaped like stars and turtles, coolers, chairs, towels (enough for way more than the amount of people with them) eight varieties of sunscreen, (baby sunscreen, face sunscreen, sunscreen in the form of a stick, spray, cream, sweat proof, water proof, keep you looking like Casper guaranteed), umbrellas, and a big giant blanket.

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People without kids have a towel, a chair and a cooler.

People with kids have a cooler filled with juice boxes, sandwiches, pretzels, goldfish, watermelon, grapes, granola bars, water, cookies, chips, crackers, cheese, yogurt sticks, strawberries and a baked ham for the love of Pete. There is pretty much nothing left in the kitchen of their home. It’s all in the damn cooler.

People without kids have beer, water (if they’re smart), and a sandwich.

People with kids look exhausted before they even set up for the day. They seriously look like they need a nap, an IV of coffee and possibly a hospital stay.

People without kids look either hung over or well rested. There is nothing in between.

People with kids set up beach chairs but never sit in them for all that long. They are either building a sand castle, getting their kids a snack, chasing a kid, calming a crying kid, applying sunscreen to a kid, preventing a kid from going out to sea or looking around and wondering how long everyone will stay happy.  They absolutely never get to sit back and close their eyes. No sir. People with kids are like prison wardens…always watching.

People without kids are sitting in their chairs, holding conversations, sipping a beer, or simply watching the waves.  They may even *GASP* get to close their eyes and take a nap. (I’m getting sleepy just thinking about it.)

When people with kids decide it’s time to leave the beach, it’s usually because the kids are crying, hitting each other, pooped through a stupid flipping swimmy diaper, or there are no snacks left to keep the kids quiet.  It takes them approximately 45 minutes and 12 seconds to pack up all the crap they showed up with.  They may actually NEED a hospital stay at this point.

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They head to their mini vans and SUVs and throw all the crap in the back. They then load up all the kids, get in the car and head home to relax. HAHAHAHHAHAHA No, that’s not right. They head home to give a bunch of tired kids baths, feed them (kids seriously eat ALL THE TIME) and hopefully get them to bed before they themselves are face first in a plate of cold spaghetti.

People without kids fold up their chairs and head off the beach to a bar.  They then go home take peaceful hot showers and sleep for 14 hours.

About the writer

Jennifer Lizza is a wife,mom, writer, runner, sleep enthusiast and blogger at Outsmarted Mommy. She's starting to think her kids are smarter than her although in her defense it could be the lack of sleep. She writes to stay sane and has been featured on Scary Mommy, The Huffington Post, and Today Parents. She is also a contributor in the hilarious books The Big Book of Parenting Tweets and The Bigger Book of Parenting Tweets. Her kids don't care. They just want to know what's for dinner. Find her on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+.

From Around the Web


Jenna 3 months ago

I agree! We have 4 kids, and getting a house on the beach is the only way to go. We went last year (kids ages 8, 5, 3 and 3months) and it was great! We also try to go in Sept when its still hot enough, but the beach is pretty much deserted. We love our beach trips!

Molly 3 months ago

Oh my gosh. I feel your pain momma. We took our 2 1/2 yr old son to Disney world and it was awful! Tantrums on top of tantrums. The commercials lie!!!!! Wonderful memories….HA! Maybe if the kids are older but NEVER take a tantruming 2 yr old on vaca! I wanted to leave him on the steps of Cinderella’s castle and run. Five yrs later, my hubbs and I are still traumatized by it.

Renee 3 months ago

Any beach day with my kids is just like this! One of my boys loves it, the other decides he likes it two minutes before we’re ready to leave. My husband could care less about going to the beach, so it’s like having another child there. I do agree that a house on the beach is the best, we did that once and it was so much better. But the only way for me to have a relaxing day at the beach is to go solo :). There is no such thing as relaxing wih kids!

Lisa 3 months ago

That was funny. However, I have 4 kids. I did without all the extra stuff. We went to the beach all the time. Had a great time at that. A big sheet, couple towels, cooler and a few snacks. I always made my kids carry their own toys. If we took any. My kids were just fine playing in the water. So while this is funny and true for some, definitely not me.

Carolynn 3 months ago

I hate reading these types of articles. Paranoia is a choice and kids deserve freedom, that is how they learn. And the snacks are ridiculous overkill, no wonder they won’t eat dinner when you get home. Don’t get me started on that – my kids don’t ever get snacks and they EAT at dinner. I PROMISE – no one is going to starve during an afternoon at the beach. This is a choice you are making, and it hurts you and your kids. I hate reading these types of articles because it removes the joy from parenting and having fun with your kids, isn’t that the point of the beach trips. Chill out and let your kids be independent of you for 10 minutes!

Diana 5 months ago

And people (my sil) wonders why I don’t want to even attempt the beach yet…even though my kids are 11, 9, 6, and 1. I’ve talked to my sister after she’s been to the beach with hers. Nope. Don’t wanna go there. Dad and the older kids get wet and have fun. Mom gets burnt and has to deal with a cranky bored baby who is hot and tired because the boys aren’t done playing. Not gonna do it.

Gabriela 8 months ago

This is real… Esto es real…Me encanto. This like to me.

Tmarie 1 year ago

You have kids?

Tracey 1 year ago

I think that the older your kids get, the more you realize that you need LESS at the beach. One bucket, one shovel, one flotation thing. Unless they can carry it themselves, then THEY can carry more, NOT ME. We are down to one small cooler, one bag, one umbrella and 2 chairs. A few towels and a sheet to sit on and we’re DONE. Less IS more, when it comes to the beach.

I love taking my kids to the beach: always have. Wish it stayed warmer longer up in Illinois!

Gar 1 year ago

The only sadness would be having to deal with listening to ill mannered kids while trying to relax.

Mer 1 year ago

Attention! Scary Mommy is for people who have a sense of humor, an appreciation of sarcasm and who wear their panties that don’t easily get in a wad….get it!!! Some people really get on my nerves, can’t post anything without someone crying about it. If you don’t like it why are you even reading the blog. Don’t read it, it’s common sense.

tareesa zee 1 year ago

I usually enjoy the entries because they are an exaggerated dose of reality but thus one story disappointed me. I was expecting more from the title. I can relate to what’s being articulated but…I don’t know. This didn’t do justice for what could have been done with this based on topic alone.

Joan Kinateder 1 year ago

I had two children 20 months apart. They are now in their 30’s. They were life’s greatest gift and
it was a joy raising them because I am a kid at heart and enjoyed all the fun things we did together.
It went by too fast…enjoy it ! Someday you will miss those days at the beach when it is only you and a book again. Make memories!

SandBiz Games 1 year ago

Enjoy this phase of life Jennifer!! The Kids grow up so fast and then one day the only conversation you have with them at the beach is you sitting in your beach chair, staring at the sea and calling them on the cell phone saying, “Wish you were here”

mimi 1 year ago

i lost my 4 yo son to brain cancer before he ever got to see the beach which was on his bucket list. your kids wont remember the crap you went through to get them there, they will remember that they did get to go to the beach and they were lucky because their friends had to stay home. i have taken my other boys to the beach every time i got a chance , because it is all worth it. you never know when the house or the car will be quiet because your kid isnt there anymore.
although the article is funny and accurate , it is also sad to me that thats how busy parents see a trip to the beach . chillax and enjoy it is only a few days out of a whole year . and the kids remember them for a lifetime. there are truly worse things, like NOT being able to take your child to the beach…

Rachel 1 year ago

That’s why I pack the grandparents with us. Haha. No in all seriousness we have taken our kiddos several times and had a ball. They are two girls under five and we had a ball. It is a lot of work, sure, but the memories are priceless!

Jessica 1 year ago

I dont think this is right. Lol i have a child and i never take as much as listed and i get time to sit. Im just as happy and have just as much energy as the adults with no kids. I for one Love to build sand castles, and play in the water, and just watch my daughter play.

Susan Maccarelli 1 year ago

SOOOOO depressing and true! I am headed to the beach with a 2 and 4 year old in July. It should be nice and exhausting for me. The worst is the 8 tons of sand that gets in the car to and from the beach vs. a few grains for the non-kid people. This was a great read!

Mildren 1 year ago

These times are treasure you don’t know it yet, but down the road you will! For the folks with no kids they will never remember there trip to the beach that day! They lose we win!

Jennifer Langdon 1 year ago

I totally agree. No need to take all the stuff described. When I was a kid my parents didn’t bring everything but the kitchen sink and we still had fun at the beach. These parents cause their own hassle. The generation of “entitlement” is made by parents!

Jacquie 1 year ago

LOL! We just got back from a beach vacation and my husband actually said “I’m tired of packing up all the crap to go to the beach each day” — yea, just regular life when you have kids and want to go ANYWHERE :)

ps. don’t even get me started on the choices of bathing suits you can have for people without kids (any cute suit will do) vs. people with kids (any suit your child can’t easily expose you in public when they grab for you in the water)!

Ama 1 year ago

It doesn’t have to be that way.

Julia Manieri 1 year ago

This too will pass.

Lauren 1 year ago

This hits the nail on the head! A good beach cart is a great investment!! It makes the trips back & forth much easier!

Amy 1 year ago

And the kids take only what they can carry:)

Amy 1 year ago

Love this article …but I have 3 boys and being from the Cape, the beach is one place I know everyone will be happy

Kelly 1 year ago

When I was a kid we went to the beach almost every weekend. We brought a couple pails and shovels and maybe a beach ball if we were lucky. My mom would pack sandwiches, chips and grapes. 1 kind of sandwich, 1 kind of chips. No Doritos or salt and vinegar or BBQ chips to chose from. It was apples bananas or grapes. There were no choices. You ate what she packed and you liked it because you were hungry. And because you were the kid and she was the mom. Period end of sentence.

If we got bored with our pails and shovels (which we were happily entertained with for hours) we gladly used our imaginations to make up games. Sometimes we jumped the waves pretending a sea monster would get us if our feet touched the ground too long. Sometimes we “dripped” sand to make giant sand castle sculptures and we would tell stories about who lived in them. Or better yet we would act out scenes about the people who lived in the castles. Other times we played tag or hop scotch or tic tac toe in the sand. We would collect shells and rocks and beach glass. We were never bored. We never wanted to go home. We never sat on cell phones playing games in the glare of the suns rays. We just played and played and played until our little minds and bodies were exhausted from all playing in the salty air.

I have to wonder if kids today had fewer choices to entertain them would they too enjoy using their imaginations? Would the words “I’m bored” and “what can I play with now” disappear from their vocabulary for even just a day? Would the pail and shovel and their minds be enough for just a few hours? Perhaps it would but we’ll never know if we keep handing over the next snack, the next toy, the next gadget. Perhaps kids want the opportunity to just play, and play and play until their little minds and bodies are exhausted from so much playing in the salty air?

Hatold 1 year ago

Better enjoy the hustle and bustle while you have them….they grow up too fast. I can assure you hauling all the crap, throwing a 1000 passes, build a city of sand castles, etc was the best memory of any of my “non kid” days times infinity.

Haw614 1 year ago

Wow. I wish I was that person who had to deal with the “hassle” of dragging boogie boards and coolers full of juice boxes and 73827 kinds of sunscreen to the beach for my children, but unfortunately that is not in my cards. When I go to the beach, I don’t go to the bar afterwards, I generally leave devastated at the fact that one of my 5 Angel babies would be the age of one of the children playing on the beach. I can’t stand this whole “I’m a mom, I deserve this” attitude lately. (Not just from this article but in general) some of us don’t choose to not have children, so next time you see people without children on the beach or anywhere for that matter, think about their struggles. You don’t know their story, you don’t know that they would give ANYTHING to be in your shoes.

Marie 1 year ago

I have to say that honestly we live within 45 minutes of 3 beaches and we love going all the time. We have 2 boys 4 & 10 and I came from a big family. My motto is never take a lot of stuff. We take towels, goggles and we park, walk and have fun. Our sons are Florida babies and we all love the beach, so I have never had problems at the beach. I do however love reading all the comments and laughing at

Mary 1 year ago

Ha, you forgot about all the unpacking afterwards. Clean out the cooler, clean out the car, hang all the towels, or maybe even have to do a load of wash! I have 3 boys…I feel your pain! But they get older and now that one of mine is 15 I do get small breaks of relaxation on the beach while he keeps watch and chases, builds castles, etc. I know I will miss the little people stuff one day:(

Joe 1 year ago

This is so funny, but only because now that I have kids I realize that people who do not have kids or do not appreciate what it means to raise them really don’t have a clue about many many things in life anyway. Enjoy your naps, hot showers, bars, fold able chairs. I bet you are awesome at solitaire!

Gritsgrl 1 year ago

I would go back in a heart beat. It passes waaaaay too quickly

tl 1 year ago

Thank you!

tl 1 year ago

I cannot believe you are telliing me to have compassion. It costs over $60K to adopt a child, I cannot have my own, and I have to read about people complaining about going to the beach with their kids? YOU have compassion!

Pickles 1 year ago

This is yet another reason why I dont want kids. What a headache!!

Elaine 1 year ago

People without kids don’t have those special memories I wouldn’t change mine for lanky thing in the world.

Lovie 1 year ago

I’ve been the parent with all the kids. Now that my kids are grown, I thoroughly enjoy my beach time and understand how wonderful it is.

Jennifer@Outsmarted Mommy 1 year ago

This was meant to be light and funny. I actually don’t complain very often. I love my children very much and my blog shows that with many of the posts I write about being a mom. I cherish my time trust me. Thanks for your advice though.

Jennifer@Outsmarted Mommy 1 year ago

Yay! Great to hear. Thanks Eliza.

Anonymous 1 year ago

You chose to have kids… this silly dichotomy of who has them and who doesn’t is rather pithy and a tad into martyrdom. Embrace the creative, loving and playful (and yes, exhausting, too) time with your kids… enjoy building sand castles with them, seeing them jump over waves, the giggles, the laughter, the “I love you, Mommy” versus creating an unnecessary comparison to those without kids.

Jennifer Osso 1 year ago

Once my girls were 6 and 3 the beach got much easier and fun. I could actually sit in my chair and enjoy the view now and then. Now we have our 3rd who will be 1 in September , and back to square one. Beaches and babies do not mix.

Katie 1 year ago

My seven year old can now jimmy a locked bathroom door to get in and tell me something “super important” or if I’m in the bath or shower he’ll sneak in and drop a load in the toilet and stink the bathroom up to high heaven

KylesMommy 1 year ago

Its better to have and not need than to need and not have. :)

Kris Sparks 1 year ago

Your rant is a bunch of complaining!
1. Don’t have children if your going to complain.
2. Don’t go to the beach if you do have children.
3. I have a 3 and 5 year old, and we go to the beach all the time.

You will look back on those beach days when your children are grown and gone
and want them back.
Cherish every moment…they will soon be gone.

Jane Edgewood 1 year ago

Not all people without kids are big drinkers. I spend a nice day at the beach and we are not downing beer, hung over, nor do we leave for the bar. I found that assumption (if you don’t have kids, you must booze it up) a little insulting. Plenty of my childfree friends are not drinkers.

Maria 1 year ago

I think you are missing the point. She’s not complaining. It is truly exhausting to always have other people to worry about. But of course it is the greatest blessing.
Have a little compassion. Young mothers are heroes.
And I hope you get to experience it one day. You would be a good mother yourself. It’s ok to vent.

Maria 1 year ago

Looking back, I see you are totally
right. I have 3 sons all grown. The last one left for college last year.
Those exhausting days were definitely the best days of my life. I thank God we made it to this point, but I sure do miss the little ones.
Keep it up young mothers! You are ALL heroes!!!

Nicole 1 year ago

Haha. I wonder if people ever mistakenly think I have kids? When I go to the beach (alone) I usually bring a fold up blanket/picnic set, a towel, three types of sunscreen (face, SPF 30, and SPF 15), enough food and beverages to feed an army (I eat constantly – I think I usually bring everything on your list except the yogurt and the ham), and two sets of clothes (just in case). The only thing that might set me apart (aside from my definite lack of children) is my backpack of books, not that I ever actually read the ten books I bring with me – I’m usually too busy doing ridiculously childish stuff like boogie boarding, body surfing, or building sandcastles.

Sheri 1 year ago

I have to agree we just went and now that my girls are 6 and 9 it is MUCH easier. We still have a ton of crap but they can carry stuff and once we’re out there I can sit in a chair … While I watch them like a hawk. 😉

Peter H. 1 year ago

Parents at the beach are there because they want their kids to have the same fun excitement and memories that they had. And remember those parents were at one time the childless people at the beach as well. They must have gotten bored at some point and wanted to have children to share fun beach times with. I love when younger childless people talk about people with children. Its out of envy or because they don’t believe they wont be good parents. You don’t know until you tried it.

Michelle 1 year ago

I just want 5 minutes alone on the toilet!

Stacy Maguigan 1 year ago

I just want to sit for 5 minutes on my couch at home by myself. :)

Chris 1 year ago

Living this right now :)

tl 1 year ago

Yeah… and I have NEVER slept 14 hours.

Stacey 1 year ago

Boy, this is so right and funny it makes my crack itch just thinking of all that sand and mayhem!! Great story.

tl 1 year ago

Wow. All you do is complain and call people who don’t have kids drunks and lazy. Some women would kill to have kids and see that all people who do have kids do is complain. Feel lucky that you are blessed enough to have them and stop complaining.

Jay 1 year ago

Um, I’m a single father of 2 kids, 8 & 5 now. And yes we have some things but it is not bad at all. We go to the beach all the time and have been for years and I don’t have any issues. I relax and have a great time. Kids have their shovels, beach chairs, towels & coolers. I relax just as much as everyone else without kids.

Kiki 1 year ago

Without kids is more fun !!

R Jones 1 year ago

if I HAVE to go at all that is. :-)

R Jones 1 year ago

I have been twice since my daughters were born. Once on the beach and once “walking” distance. I totally agree that on the beach is worth the extra expense.

Mommy 1 year ago

She forgot tent! We bring tents or giant pop-up shade structures. As the children get older they bring friends. Umbrellas aren’t large enough to shade the crowd.

Mónica Rivera-Ruano 1 year ago

I like the beach for running/walking not for sitting in the sand. And I hate taking my kids. I’d much rather take them to a water park.

Megan 1 year ago

The only way to take kids to the beach is to rent a house ON the beach. It is well worth the extra expense. You can walk them up to the house for a meal or a poop or a nap or whatever. No need to haul stuff back and forth. And you can sneak back down to the beach while they nap!!

My kids are now 20, 17, and 14 and I STILL would rather pay the extra for the place on the beach even though they now walk themselves back and forth!! Even if it means going every other year instead of every year (which is pretty much how it’s gone for us…)

JLC 776 1 year ago

The difference between people with one kid and people with multiple kids is almost just as dramatic. When the adults have to shift into zone defense, the beach becomes a place of abject terror.

Tiffany 1 year ago

this has truth in it but it isn’t the whole story. people with kids get to experience things at the beach for the first time through their eyes. people with kids get treated to giggles splashing at the water’s edge. people with kids get memories of sand castle building, or at least the attempts. people with kids get to see how the light hits a child in the face just so while they are off digging in the and as the sun starts to dip in the sky making them look so perfect as if heaven is reminding of what an incredible blessing they are in your life.

R Jones 1 year ago

Disagree and I have 2 kids. I don’t even go to the beach anymore because it’s not worth the hassle. Maybe when they get a little older.

Shiloh Barkley 1 year ago

My sister and I used to go with our mom all the time growing up. We didn’t have all the extra junk. Mom had her chair, we could bring a chair if we carried it, and towels for each. Mom brought water, fruit, extra sunblock, and a baggie with a wash cloth inside premoistened with tap water. We always had to put on sunblock at home before we left. People bring so much crap because they need it to be satisfied. People choose all the stuff. That’s what they like.

gg 1 year ago

Someone sounds jealous of people without kids!

Andrea 1 year ago

I miss taking all the beach toys to the beach, Oh I lugged beer and toys and chairs, and sandwiches. We needed the beer after we lugged all of it out there!!!! You will miss those days when your kids are all grown :(

backwardparentingbybrita 1 year ago

When our three kids were younger, we found an excellent alternative. Corolla, OBX has a beach highway-literally a road that runs along the beach (4×4 necessary, folks. Trust me on this). We packed up our SUV, found a quiet spot along the beach, backed up toward the beach, lifted the hatch and voila- instant readiness for all that comes with kids at the beach. They could take a nap in the Tahoe, we didn’t have to unload coolers, we had room for everything to actually give us an enjoyable, full day at the beach! So we weren’t like the people without kids, but who wants to be anyway? Ok-we do…

Nellie @ Brooklyn Active Mama 1 year ago

so so true!

danielle 1 year ago

Thankfully my mom loves to go to the beach and gets our “spot” early I then meet her there and she helps me with food and some toys and towels! But we never get to sit down but my 2 year old son loves the beach and pretty much entertains himself with his buckets and collecting rocks. So that makes it easier! He also loves to swim and also will sit in a chair and happily eat his lunch. We have a great time usually about 2-3 hours then he’s pooped out and we head home for a nice nap and bath. I can’t wait to start going! Enjoy your summer every one! We will! :)

Lacy Richmond 1 year ago

I wanna sit for 5 minutes on my couch at home…

Theresa Beaurain 1 year ago

These people with kids need to remember to take their husbands! Then they can relax while the husband plays for hours in the sand. Who am I to take away his beach fun, he loves it!

Kristen Padjen 1 year ago

Lol very true!!! I would rather stay in the backyard!

Jordanna Arbogast 1 year ago

Taking your kids to the beach is all about taking nothing more than you actually need. In Charleston, we grab a couple towels, some chairs, and a TidalBall set. No other game is needed. Oh and don’t forget the sun block. Yikes.

Stacey Ward 1 year ago

Haha! True!

kati 1 year ago

OMG, so hilarious. This was us last week on “vacation”. We had a blast, but I had to go back to work today so I could sit down for more than 30 seconds! You forgot that it takes 3 hours just to pack all that crap, dress and sunscreen the slippery fish we call children, and get out the door!

Becky 1 year ago

After just returning from the beach with my kid and our friends with two kids, I find this hilarious!! I will say, having a buddy for your kid to play with seems to help a LOT. And multiple parents to tag off duties. I actually read my book for a while one day! Like heaven.

Tanya Browning Huurman 1 year ago

No joke.. I take so much stuff it is crazy!

No Kids and Not Worthless 1 year ago

People who don’t have kids don’t just drink and sleep. A lot of us have productive lives.

Kim 1 year ago

I am so sorry for all the hardships and pain and dissapointment you have gone through. I don’t think the author meant to minimize your struggle in anyway. And you know what? Even though I found this funny, & also cast envious glances at beach couples relaxing I TOTALLY agree with you. Not a day or minute goes by that I am not grateful for my house full of happy chaos.

I fact I was just thinking how sad my home would be today without it.

Do you know you can submit articles to this site? You have a great way with words. Perhaps you could write one about infertility. It seems there are many other would be mothers who frequent this site whom your words would resonate with.

Also: we mothers need to be reminded, when we forget to remind ourselves, that we are SO VERY FORTUNATE.

Thank you for your words. Much love to you.

allie 1 year ago

Goodness! SO glad I don’t have kids. That made me tired just reading it.

Holli Lee 1 year ago

So true! !!!

Eliza Brock 1 year ago

this is one of my favorites!

Rebecca Louise Herbunot 1 year ago

It does get better

Kim 1 year ago

Wow. That sounds truly awful. Maybe because we live so near the beach and go year round (but of course summer is best) it is not even CLOSE to this bad. Sure there is more stuff. But there is relaxing. And sandcastle building, yes.

The trick is to go to a beach with a concession. 😉

Maryl P. 1 year ago

Headed to the beach on the 13. Thanks for the warning 😉 I’ve got a 2 year old girl and an 8.5 month old boy. Typically I already pack everything but the kitchen sink just to go to the store, so this shouldn’t be too horrible. I’m actually really excited for this because we’re also going to go to the aquarium as well. I’ll probably be way more into it, but that’s okay.

3mama 1 year ago

THis is just so true! Just got back from the beach with 3 DDs. We decided to pack light this time around – only had 4 bags of stuff and a cooler! Life was so much easier. I even took a nap (eyes were closed for a full 2.45 seconds).

Sharon Chaves 1 year ago

Lol.. I live in fl five min from the beach my entire life and never went. Now I like it because they do..

Cindy 1 year ago

Glad I found this site; is this what I’m in for?! Perspective widening! Looking forward to learning from lots of moms and dads out there.

Kendall Arditto 1 year ago

I was at the beach yesterday without kids. Why? because I lost them both. Perhaps, when you look at the people with out kids you should look a little deeper or possibly take in consideration that every is fighting a battle including people without kids.

Beth McCall Stump 1 year ago

So true! I remember my days at the beach before kids. So different and so relaxing. Now I savor any time at all I get to myself at the beach.

Yve Sharkey 1 year ago

It does get easier! My triplets are almost 13 and a beach day is easy. I still watch like a hawk, but now they put me in a circle and plead for me to stay in it!! We’ve been able to take one cooler, a set of towels, chairs for everyone and books! Yeah! Hang in there! Oh and my 18 year old won’t even let me near the car on his beach days…issue there solved!!

Heather Ann Cook 1 year ago

“No don’t eat that. No, get that out of your mouth. No don’t go that far. Leave that bird alone. NO! Don’t chase the bird!” is usually how our day at the beach goes :p

teresa 1 year ago

Yes, it gets easier as they get older. Plus, now that they are 7 and 10, they can carry their own boogie boards, towels and bags. I only have to carry the cooler and my chair. :)

Rachel Cashen 1 year ago

Haha- read this earlier- I will!

Amanda Horner George 1 year ago

Times sure have changed! This is so familiar! Kim-Kevin Polasek!!!!!

Shannon Dove Crosby 1 year ago

True, but the beach is more fun now with kids. Even with hauling the massive amount of stuff in and out.

Monica Naberman Barkero 1 year ago

Oh my goodness!!! So true and so sad!!! LOL

Norine of Science of Parenthood 1 year ago

Pretty much sums our beach ventures to a T. I grew up in South Florida and I can remember back in high school, just tossing my beach chair and some suntan oil (remember oil???) in the back of my convertible and heading to the beach for the day. Now we look like we’re headed off on safari for weeks, just to spend 2-3 hours at the beach. Funny stuff. Thanks for the giggles.

Kathryn Smith Boruff 1 year ago

HILARIOUS!! Couldnt be more true!

Beth Rivard Soldo 1 year ago

Dying laughing!!

Jessica Irvine 1 year ago

We don’t do the beach. Ok, we do, but it’s a cold windy beach where we walk the dogs. Too cold to sit down. That’s the beach.

Beth 1 year ago

Ha! Love this. It does get better though…last year, we were down to one bag and a bucket 😉

Isabel Curd Flores Pina 1 year ago

It took me al kinds of time to prepare for that and not sleep one day before but it was all worth it!!!

Isabel Curd Flores Pina 1 year ago

I remember when I ttravek my 3 children to Mexico Veracruz beach

Wanda Clark 1 year ago

Never went to the beach before having a kid:)

Claire Louise Court 1 year ago

This sums it up perfectly lol very funny xx

mab 1 year ago

hilarious! this was me yesterday. everything about it: the endless amount of stuff, the 3 different kinds of sunscreen, the book of which i got to read about 5 pages because i didn’t get any time to myself, the exhausting bed time rituals after a long day. you get me!

Corina Lafever 1 year ago

Ha ha! Yes!!

Jenny Blackburn 1 year ago

Too funny, however the beach was a nice relief from having a toddler at a camp site trying to play in the fire pit!

Atlas-Educational 1 year ago

So true. lol.

Liz Timm 1 year ago

This is hilarious but I still can’t wait to take my toddler for the first time :)

Debbie Hurtado 1 year ago

Nah. The beach before kids was boring. All I’d do was lay there. Now I have fun! Building sandcastles, burying ourselves, constantly in and out of the water, running around….the beach is WAY better now.

Elizabeth 1 year ago

I love you for giving the rest of us hope. Of course I love every minute, but sometimes I miss sleep… And beer. I haven’t had any of either in years!

Elizabeth 1 year ago

Ha! We haven’t yet tackled the beach, but we are about to in a few weeks. I will treat this post like a shopping list/how to manual. If it’s anything like going skiing with a toddler, I think I have an idea of what we’re in for.

Jennifer Jones Marler 1 year ago

All of it…so very very true! Haha

susan 1 year ago

It definitely gets better – my son is in college now – I get to go to the beach now with just a chair, and a tote bag with a book, water, sunscreen, ipod, and my phone. I see those Moms lugging those wheeled trollies onto the beach with all the toys, with chairs bouncing off the backs of their legs as they struggle to carry their kids (cuz the sand is HOT Mom), their chairs, their giant wheeled bin of STUFF – it just doesn’t look like fun at all. Hang in there ladies – it gets better!

Mary Schneider 1 year ago

“Only” isn’t only when you’re a single! :)
It is different with just one tho… I remembering things being MUCH easier with my daughter, before I was hauling two along… The second made a lot more work. Being organized does help, but for those of us who don’t go regularly, getting ready can be a big chore.

Anna 1 year ago

I came across this blog post accidentally. As soon as I read it, I became quite sad.

Did you ever stop and think about those people without children, that you glance at with jealousy, the ones with just a towel and a chair and not a care in the world? Or so you assume. Did your ever think they look over at you with longing?

A lot of those childless couples at the beach are lounging there with sadness. They are there to enjoy the beach, the sun, and the waves. They are there to find some solace in their pain, to try to find a way to enjoy their vacation or weekend. Because some of those childless couples can not have children, at all. I mean, medically, no way. Even after years of testing and science experiments. They are not given the blessing of your hectic and beautiful existence.

They look over at you, you know what their conversation is. I wish we had that. I would do anything to have that. I would saw off my right arm to have that. I would trade in my blanket, beer, and chair for a mini van full of screaming children with their plethora of toys any day.

Do we look well rested? I don’t think so. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in 5 years, since the day I was told my husband and I could not naturally conceive a child. Do we look hungover? No, that’s just sickness from the fertility medications or maybe just self medicating to ease the pain.

People without kids go home to a quiet home. A sad home. The wife cries as she daydreams about those beautiful families she saw at the beach that day. That’s what they do.

Sorry if this is a downer, but I just wanted to remind you how wonderful your life is. Please please please never forget it. Treasure it always. I know its not easy being a mother. But it is much harder to be childless. Even when you are sleep deprived and ready to scream, just think of that childless mother at the beach. Think about how you, in that beautiful chaos, have everything she never could.

Aly Dyer 1 year ago

Take heart. They’ll be big kids who can swim and haul their own crap to the beach and disappear hunting chicks and you’ll barely see them all too soon. Loving this new phase of big kids and teens. Yes, we have beers in our cooler once again.

Leonie Taber 1 year ago

We live in the caribbean and have just started frequenting the beach more often with our just-turned-two year old and six month old. Totally agree with this in that it was a BIG SHOCK the first few times! And I looked at all the childless couple with awe!

Andi Graham 1 year ago

All I remember from our beach trip is lots of kid tantrums, kids crying, mad that they couldn’t run free down the beach and drown in the ocean, mad that they couldn’t run through the wedding taking place on the beach, meltdowns because the seagulls wouldn’t let them touch them, crying because they were hot, crying because they were cold, crying because they didn’t want to go back to the room for 5 minutes, mad that we couldn’t afford every ice cream stand, sidewalk vendor, every kiddie ride in the overpriced amusement parks… I had tried so hard to have the ideal family vacation like everybody has. I was severely depressed at how awful it was.

Jennifer Lizza @Outsmarted Mommy 1 year ago

You deserve a day at the spa. Tell him I said so! 😉

Jennifer Lizza @Outsmarted Mommy 1 year ago

So you’re telling me there’s hope and it gets better? YES! Thank you. :)

Andi Graham 1 year ago

I wish I could enjoy taking kids to the beach. I tried SO hard to be like all the self-proclaimed good moms. I crashed and burned so hard! I hated life, hated myself, and everybody in it by the time we left.

Pat Branton 1 year ago

lol…………….so true.

Shaye Boucher 1 year ago

Throwing of sand…sand every where…SAND. In all those snacks. While kids whine sand in food. Prob cuz you didn’t wash your grubby little toddler hands like instructed.

Tracy Frank 1 year ago

Spot on

Sherry Mallet 1 year ago

Sounds like our last vacation! Lol. But so very worth it :)

Ellen 1 year ago

LOL!! This was me a month ago on “vacation” with my boys 1 and 5, while hubs played golf. Only 5yo wanted to be at the pool or beach EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY and the baby wanted NOTHING to do with sun, sand water or fun. He screeched like I was peeling of his skin when we got into the pool. He was briefly content in the shade of a picnic umbrella in a chair sipping a juice box.

It was a long week, and hubs still owes me big time.

Andi Graham 1 year ago


Amber Westberg Neubauer 1 year ago


Jen Spahr Bogaert 1 year ago

I have a friend who would draw a circle around her chair–kids were not allowed inside that circle. Wish I’d thought of that when mine were little!!

Monica Montenegro 1 year ago

I took my 2 boys to beach all the time last summer we practically lived there. I’m used to packing food/snacks because one of mine has dairy allergies.. The author is right about the parent not resting but then w/ small kids you don’t rest no matter where u go. Mine are 3 & 6 & I can’t wait for school to be out. When they get older I won’t remember being tired but I will remember all the fun we had =)

Ypsi 1 year ago

Taking little kids to the pool is almost as traumatic except there’s no sand involved. Happily, I have noticed it starting to get less awful now that my youngest is 7 and can mostly swim.

Lydia Quinones 1 year ago

I think that’s almost anywhere you go with kids …. so very true

Gin Young-Dupuis 1 year ago

Maybe a bit much? Don’t think all that is necessary ! Lighten the load! Besides you end up not using it and just more to unpack

Andi Graham 1 year ago

The best place to vacation with kids, so far has been Great Wolf Lodge.

Heather McMahan Davenport 1 year ago

Holly and Cliff , get ready! Rest now while you can 😉

Marissa Trivelli 1 year ago

Spot on

Sarah Lawrence 1 year ago


Jasmine Reyna 1 year ago

Lmao this was me when I took my almost 2 year old son. Took everything but the kitchen sink and for what.. We never even made it to the beach because he didn’t want to leave the park.

Andi Graham 1 year ago

So much truth.
The one time I took kids to the beach was a nightmare. I didn’t think it was possible to yell, threaten, discipline, and be more angry than we are at home! Geez.
Why do people act like I’m terrible if I don’t do this every summer.
I’ll find a different way to “vacation”.

Sacha Bower 1 year ago

People with kids have more fun!

Amanda Grace 1 year ago

Great article! Made me laugh bc i’ve seen this. Poor exhausted parents who know that these “fun” trips are really more just for the kids. But through all the chaos i know that the memories made far outweigh the stress

Justin N Winnie 1 year ago


Jennifer Longobardo Multari 1 year ago

lol. “People with kids set up beach chairs but never sit in them for all that long” I just want to sit for FIVE minutes

Stephanie Bode 1 year ago