In Defense Of A Feral Child Summer

As a parent, I don’t have to tell you that many of us start preparing for our kids’ summer break in late winter. Signing up for camps, planning trips, and generally just thinking about how we’re going to keep these beloved little hobgoblins entertained for three months. There’s a level to which this can’t be helped for a lot of families: parents need to work and summer entertainment is also summer childcare.

But recently, a Redditor on r/Parenting asked a question that is perhaps worth asking: “Does anyone else kinda let their kids do whatever?”

“It’s summer break and I just kinda let them do whatever all day unless we have plans or want to go somewhere,” writes u/Flahrdah of their 5 and 7 year old. “If we’re home all day I let them ‘destroy’ the house, go in and out, spray the water hose, get dirty, get out every single toy. I don’t care. I just do my own thing and am largely uninvolved unless they need something. Around 4 to 5 p.m. we start cleaning up everything. And then have a more relaxed evening. But during the day I just don’t really care? You wanna scatter Legos everywhere, OK. They’ll get picked up later. Wanna build a fort with the pillows from the couch? Okay I’ll go lay in my bed. My house is a wreck right now but whatever. Does anyone else parent this way? Like unless they want me to cook them something or need help with something they largely just do their own thing.”

Now, I know there are some Type-A folks out there who are breaking out into hives just imagining this (we see you, Virgo moms). Others are simply scoffing. With the demands of work, this is neither desirable nor feasible: there are too few hours in a day to spend the time you do have with your children cleaning messes (we see you, Capricorn moms.) To others, however, this sounds positively dreamy but you fear the judgment of letting your kids go feral (we see you, Cancer moms), or perhaps the concern about whether this will actually be a good idea (we see you, Gemini moms) is holding you back.

Look, this might not be right for all families, but I think it’s silly to assume it’s a terrible idea out of hand. Like Elsa, some of us would be better off if we just let it go a bit...

Need more convincing? Other parents sung the praises of this more laissez-faire approach to summer parenting.

“Kids having loosely supervised or unsupervised time at play is actually amazing for developing independence, social skills, and confidence,” says one Redditor. “As long as they're safe and not just staring at an iPad all summer, this isn't bad at all!”

“I am like 75% I don’t care. That other 25% is enforcing no dirty shoes tracking on the carpets, washing hands after you eat or come in from the outside and if I hear them getting too rowdy or loud I’ll step in,” shares a second. “Thankfully overall they tend to not fight these rules.”

“I use to stress things,” offers another. “My kid is 5 and for the last few months I notice life is more simple just letting her find her way as long as she’s not trying to kill herself. Yesterday she made this big mess and then said OK, I’m ready to go to bed. I will clean up tomorrow. We went to bed.”

And whether or not this is the right approach for you, sometimes it’s important to just re-assess what actually matters to you and what you think should be important to you. What better time than summer break to let go of the latter?