Parenting

You Can Get Plastic Surgery To 'Fix' Your Resting Bitch Face, But Why?

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What we can’t figure out is why anyone would want to give up their resting bitch face, especially since it takes plastic surgery to do it

Women who have resting bitch face know of its powers. It’s one of the best defenses a woman can have against this world, where men, more often than not, feel entitled to the constant and on-demand attention of any woman they see. But for some reason we cannot figure out, women are getting plastic surgery to “fix” their resting bitch face and look more friendly and approachable.

Um, ladies, you OK?

According to the New York Post, women are flocking in higher and higher numbers to plastic surgeons, getting fillers and Botox to make them look like they’re happy at all times. For this, women pay anywhere from $500 to $5,000 for results that typically last up to two years. One surgeon even reported that in the last few years, he’s seen requests for this kind of procedure double.

One woman who turned to plastic surgery told the Post that she felt she needed to do something after seeing candid photos of herself at a party looking like a “sourpuss.” She works as a medical sales rep and said being approachable is a big part of her job, which, OK, can’t you just smile at work? But she said she’s happy with her results.

“Nobody can quite put their finger on it, but they notice something’s different,” she said. “People have definitely complimented me saying, ‘Oh you look so pretty and cute today.'”

Park Avenue surgeon Dr. Melissa Doft had this to contribute to the discussion: “People gravitate to women who they perceive as happy.”

But that’s kind of the problem. Women already deal with enough people gravitating toward them, often unwanted. Plastic surgery to get more catcalls and street harassment? Hard pass. What about surgery to make my face look even bitchier? Can I get some fangs added in there? Other defensive features? That’s the kind of plastic surgery we should be seeing gain popularity.

Because having resting bitch face is actually the best. When your natural, resting face looks like you’re ready to kick someone in the shin at all times, you don’t get approached when you don’t want to be. Women who look smiley and happy at all times can have all the creeps trying to chat them up at the gym — I’ll be over on my treadmill, blissfully alone with my face that looks one step away from actual murder at all times. I wouldn’t change that for the world.