30 Ways Pregnancy Is Like Freshman Year of College

by JIll Ceder
Originally Published: 
Yuri_Arcurs / iStock

There are few times in life that share the same newness as embarking for college freshman year—the joys of making new friends, learning how to puke and rally, and feeling awkward in your own skin. Thankfully, we women get to do it all again when we get pregnant. Both pregnancy and freshman year are times for embarrassing moments, body pains, weight gain, and spending the whole time wishing it would end really fast. Here are 30 ways being pregnant is like your freshman year of college:

1. You gain anywhere from 15 to 65 pounds.

2. You think it’s an awesome idea to eat infinite amounts of food

3. Fried chicken and cold pizza sound amazing for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

4. You fall asleep, all the time, anywhere.

5. You puke in public.

6. You trip awkwardly in front of complete strangers.

7. You spend too much time decorating—planning out color patterns, shams, and bed skirts.

8. You plan to go to the gym all the time and fit in yoga and meditation.

9. You spend most of your time sleeping, puking, and reading online articles about your current life.

10. You think it will be impossible to make new friends who will be as good as your old ones.

11. You feel like you are the only person who is completely lost and anxious.

12. Your bed feels way too small.

13. You get sick eating the cold food left out at the cafeteria.

14. You cry, cry, cry (Dawson’s Creek can be very emotional).

15. You call your mom way more often than you ever did before. Hello, needy!

16. You feel like you have a 24/7 hangover.

17. You wear yoga pants all the time.

18. You could sleep all day long.

19. You regret that you didn’t give yourself time for a lunch break.

20. You wear dirty clothes for a week because you are too lazy to do laundry.

21. You take yourself way too seriously.

22. You have awkward sex.

23. You share stories about gross bodily sensations with your girlfriends.

24. You put on clothes thinking you look OK only to look back at those pictures mortified that you ever walked outside.

25. You have to choose a moms group, which will be as stressful, catty, and bizarre as rushing a sorority.

26. You meet some women you want to punch in the face (that know-it-all in the moms group).

27. And other women who will be your best friends forever.

28. You are convinced you will never do these things again—and then you do.

29. You are embarking on a new journey.

30. When it is over, you look back, forget how horrible the whole thing was, and wish you could do it all again.

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