We Refuse To Be Gaslit By The Orange One Ever Again

by Elizabeth Broadbent
Originally Published: 
Scary Mommy and Pete Marovich/Getty

An unnamed source has the Orange One telling the site Axios that he plans to march his spray-tanned ass into CPAC, the Conservative Political Action Committee meeting, this week and inform them that he is still in charge, says The Guardian. I am still your fearless (hiding in a bunker) leader (who won’t call on the National Guard) who will challenge any Democrat, Joe Biden or otherwise, in 2024, Trump plans to tell his (racist, QAnon, gaslit) followers.

Orange Man, Stacey Abrams is coming for your ass. She haunts your dreams.

We the people of the United States refuse to be gaslit by a man who once attempted to buy Greenland. Time Magazine had to ask him to remove fake covers from his golf clubs that claimed “The Apprentice is a television smash!” and “Trump is hitting on all fronts — even TV!” Let’s kick down the roadblock on memory lane and revisit some of those repressed memories of the Trump administration. The Orange One spent his presidency watching Sean Hannity, playing golf, inciting violence and shitposting.

To paraphrase The Dude, that aggression will not stand, man.

The Orange One Is A Racist Piece Of Toejam

In July of 2019, according to The Washington Post, Trump declared himself “least racist person there is anywhere in the world.” Um, is there anyone in the world left who believes that line of bullshit? At the time he said that, The Washington Post went on to say that “psssst, Orange Man, most Americans actually think you’re racist.” And not in that Avenue Q “Everyone’s a little bit racist sometimes/ Doesn’t mean we go around committing hate crimes” sense. In an actual, “You keep calling a sitting Congresswoman ‘Pocahontas’ and told four Democratic Congresswomen to ‘go back to where you came from.’ Except only one of them (Ilhan Omar) was actually foreign-born; she’d have to get her butt back to Somalia. Ocasio-Cortez would be rocking the Bronx; Ayanna Pressley would be forced to flee to Cincinnati. Poor Rashida Tlaib, God save her soul, would face a fate some might call Dantean: Detroit.

Three words for The Orange One: Black. Lives. Matter.

And no, we will not sit down, and no we will not shut up and no, we will not stop screaming about how Trump’s lily-white, QAnon, treasonist, insurrectionist shitbags invaded the Capitol, threatened lives of sitting representatives and senators (including the aforementioned Ocasio-Cortez, who has said she feared for her life), and were helped by the goddamn police.

If BIPOC had invaded the Capitol, there’d have been blood on the streets. You know it, I know it, BIPOC sure as hell know it.

Oh Yeah, And That Insurrection…


AFP via Getty Images

And speaking of that insurrection: we won’t be gaslit, no matter what those weak-ass, running-scared, donor-sniffing Republicans said during his failed impeachment hearings. The Orange One was responsible for a treasonous insurrection on American soil.

Sorry to break it to you, Former Spray-Tan-In-Chief, but Clorox won’t clean that stain. Even if you inject it.

He may be brand-new BFFs with Jamiroquai video extra QAnon Shaman, but those racist, anti-Semitic, brainwashed cult members aren’t calling the shots. Their crazy-ass ideology was exposed as a lie, but they’re generating new, even more insane ideas to make up for their old, equally insane ideas: Trump will be sworn in as the new president on March 4th! The rest of us, who refuse to be gaslit by their virtual insanity (I’m sorry, Jamiroquai. You don’t deserve this) are willing to wait for it.

Since it won’t happen, at all, not on March 4 or in 2024.

Because The Orange One executed and planned, likely with his BFF Congresspeople — including Marjorie Taylor Greene, who once claimed she didn’t believe that the Sandy Hook shooting actually happened — an actual insurrection. He did this by lying to his wide-eyed red state minions, over and over, that no I really did win the election, I really did, see, the Democrats are liars trying to steal your votes.

Master. Gaslighter.

This insurrection, incidentally, coming on the heels of like, three different impeachable events that same weekend, including a phone call during which he openly encouraged election tampering.

Stacey Abrams put that mess down like a rabid dog.

She. Haunts. Your. Dreams.

Then There’s All That Other Crap We Forgot

The Orange One had so many messed-up moments we’ve been gaslit into forgetting by their sheer quantity, and no ma’am, that’s not gonna fly a second time. How about when he told a kid Santa wasn’t real? What about the time he expressed his desire to be on Mount Rushmore? How about saluting Kim Jong Un and calling him “Rocket Man”? Remember how he threw all those kids in cages?

Remember how he threw all those kids in cages?!

Remember how he shot rubber bullets at Native protesters at Standing Rock?

Remember how he retweeted white supremacist lies?

Oh, we’re not falling for this shit again.

Dear Orange One: We always knew “The Apprentice” was a shitty show. We always knew you were not actually a millionaire. And America refuses to swallow any more of your lies.

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