From The Confessional: My Rich Friends Just Don't Get It
It’s hard to get rich friends to relate to our everyday struggles and it’s frustrating AF
Whoever says “money doesn’t buy happiness” surely must have had money, right? Because when our bills are paid and our cupboards are full, we have a lot less to worry about, that’s for sure. Which is why it’s extra frustrating when people who have money and therefore less worries just…don’t get The Struggle.
We all have “rich” friends and relatives, and even though we all love them dearly, it can be difficult getting them to be able to relate to real life, and real problems at times. When you’re worrying about splitting up the electric bill to keep your lights on, they’re off on their third vacation of the year — or that’s what it feels like, anyway. And while we know it’s not right to begrudge anyone their success (financial or otherwise), it’s perfectly alright to bitch about the rich.
Anonymously, at least.
Social media no doubt plays a role in exacerbating the feeling of wealth disparity among us and our acquaintances. We often see friends moving into new homes, buying new cars, traveling, showing off big bling, showing off the massive “Santa” haul under the Christmas tree — and these things are simply just not the reality for everyone.
“My rich friend has zero understanding that DH and I are doing the best we can. We didn’t have people to pay for our educations and subsidize our lives, like she did. I am growing angrier by the day about this.”
And that’s fine. No, really, it is. But wouldn’t it be nice if our friends were just…a little more understanding of our struggles? We’re not asking for charity, here, just a little empathy.
“I thought SIL (DH’s sister) liked me, but..? She invited DH & me to the wedding but wants me to be a server during the reception. She said ‘I thought you’d be more at home doing that than sitting with our rich friends.’ DH is appalled & might not go.”
“So jealous of my rich friend with a huge amazing house, new cars, and a housekeeper. YES all that shit would absolutely make me happy”
It’s hard not to get a little green with envy around our better-off friends and family members. Especially when they can just straight-up Markie Kondo the sh*t out of their closets.
“I wish I was rich enough to get rid of things that are dingy or old or don’t spark joy. Can’t even imagine.”
“Omg. Another day of cleaning houses for rich people. Wish I was dead. Ugh.”
Ever feel like they’re just not living on the same planet as you are? Why do so many rich people think that if we just work harder or pick ourselves up by the “boostraps” (gag) we’ll be as well off as they are?
That’s not how it works, Karen!!! Oh to live how the “other half” lives.
“I like going to Whole Foods and pretending I’ m rich. I like watching the quirky people and eating free samples. Especially the cheese. I.wish I was rich and could buy all my groceries there for my whole big family”
The reality is that so many people are living paycheck to paycheck. More people live this way than don’t. Why can’t everyone understand this?
“My best friend is in a relationship with a rich doctor and Has the opportunity to be a SAHM. My husband is a teacher and we live paycheck to paycheck. I’m happy for her but so jealous. I’d love to stay home with my kids and not bust my ass as a nurse.”
Retirement? 401k? Roth IRA? LOL OK.
Intergenerational wealth is A Thing. How many of us have friends who were able to spend their twenties living at home with their parents, saving money, and paying no real bills? And it’s like, good for them, we all hope we can provide these things to our own children if we’re able to afford it one day.
But that is called HELP. A kind of help we don’t all receive, which can make some of us feel like we were behind as adults before we really even grew up.
Yes, Susan, a housekeeper would dramatically reduce my anxiety and stress levels and make me a more “present mom,” and I would love nothing more than to enter my home after a long day and smell Pine Sol and not trip over 500 toys.
BUT WE ALSO NEED TO LIVE, CAPISCE?
“It’s hard not to be bitter toward/empathize w/ my friend who has rich parents who support her expensive lifestyle & give her everything from condos to cars to brand designer clothes. I’m sure your life is so sad as I default on student loans in order to eat.”
Bottom line: sometimes our rich friends just don’t get it. And they don’t have to. But we also don’t have to deal with their lack of understanding.