50 Iconic Samantha Jones Quotes: Best Sex And The City Quotes & Jokes

Just 50 Iconic Samantha Jones Quotes To Give You ‘SATC’ Nostalgia

April 8, 2020 Updated August 27, 2020

samantha sex and the city quotes
James Devaney/Getty

Hindsight has not been kind to all the Sex And The City ladies (cough, Carrie, cough) and the last woman standing just happens to have a doctorate in giving absolutely zero fucks. Samantha Jones, the PR powerhouse played so brilliantly by Kim Cattrall was the feminist pop culture icon the late 90s so badly needed. The rat race to settle down, get married, and have kids? No, thank you. Waiting for a man to pick you as his sexual partner? Boy bye. Letting other’s opinions keep you from success? Well, that’s just not a Samantha move.

Samantha was always true to herself, impressively candid about her relationships and sexual desires, and looked damn chic in every single scene during the series’ six year run on HBO. She’s still such an icon that over 15 years after the end of the series, Samantha quotes have a search volume of nearly 1,900 per month. Now that’s good PR. So in honor of this icon, we’ve gone ahead and collected the absolute best Samantha quotes from Sex And The City to take you back to a different era in New York City.

samantha sex and the city quotes
HBO

1. Listen to me. The right guy is an illusion. Start living your lives.

2. If I worried what every bitch in New York was saying about me, I’d never leave the house.

3. I will not be judged by you or society.

4. Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.

5. I am fifty-fucking-two and I will rock this dress.

6. As you know, I have always loved my body just the way it is.

7. A guy gets angry in a meeting, he’s a pistol. A woman, she’s emotional.

8. I love you, but I love me more.

9. Men, babies, doesn’t matter. We’re soulmates.

10. You dated Mr. Big. I’m dating Mr. Too Big.

11. I’m a tri-sexual. I’ll try anything once.

12. Well, I don’t know how you people do it. All that emotional chow-chow. It’s exhausting.

13. Why does everybody have to get married and have kids? It’s so cliché.

Samantha sex and the city quotes
HBO

14. Charlotte: I think that a relationship has to be based on honesty and communication.

Samantha: If you were 25 that would be adorable, but, you’re 32, so that’s just stupid.

15. Oh, please! There’s always a contest with an ex, it’s called “who will die miserable.”

16. His problem is he’s an asshole.

17. Tell a man “I hate you,” you have the best sex of your life. Tell him “I love you” you’ll probably never see him again.

18. I’m sick of people with children, they’re everywhere.

19. Hello, my name is fabulous.

20. This love stuff is a motherfucker.

21. Yes, I am harsh. I’m also demanding, stubborn, self-sufficient, and always right.

22. I don’t believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party, I just believe in parties.

Samantha quotes sex and the city
HBO

23. I’m done with great love. I’m back to great lovers.

24. Kegel exercises… I’m doing mine right now.

25. The good ones screw you, the bad ones screw you…and the rest don’t know how to screw you.

26. You know marriage doesn’t guarantee a happy ending, just an ending.

27. Charlotte: I saw the ring and I threw up.

Samantha: That’s my reaction to marriage.

28. You can’t swing a Fendi purse without knocking over five losers. Where did all the great guys go?

29. If he seems too good to be true, he probably is.

30. I’m a lovely person. Get to know me, then hate me.

31. If you turn me into one of those married assholes, I’ll kill you.

32. Sweetheart, you can’t go listening to every fucking little voice that runs through your head. You’ll go nuts.

33. I will not be judged by you or society. I will wear whatever I want and blow whomever I want as long as I can breathe and kneel.

34. As far as I’m concerned the test of a good relationship is are you like this [frowns] or like this [grins].

35. Samantha: What is it about California air? It makes me sleep so well.

Carrie: It’s not the air, your headboard knocked you unconscious.

36. The country runs better with a good-looking man in charge. Look at Nixon. No one wanted to fuck him, so he fucked everyone.

37. Honey, you know me, I don’t really believe in marriage; now Botox on the other hand, that works every time.

38. Oh honey, you made a little joke! Good for you.

39. Hey dick-wad, I’m speaking.

40. So here’s to the groom, who finally got Carried away.

41. Don’t blame marriage, this one’s married and she’s not growing a national forest. Any thicker and you won’t be able to find it.

42. My names Samantha and I’m a loveaholic.

43. If you want the life, you have to look the part.

44. Always look like you know where you’re going even if you don’t.

45. Practically all relationships I know are based on the foundation of lies and mutually accepted delusions.

46. Who we are in bed is who we are in life. I’ve never met a guy who was bad in bed who was good in life.

47. Men cheat for the same reason dogs lick their balls, because they can.

48. Men do this all the time: Women walk around thinking “we,” and their version of “we” is “me and my dick.”

49. I’m done with great love, I’m back to great lovers.

50. Nipples are huge right now, open any magazine.