Insane Works of Sandwich Art

You know how Pinterest can make you feel like a slacker mother whose cooking and homemaking and craft skills don’t compare with all the other mothers out there? Well, today for a change, it made me feel normal. No way would any sane mother present sandwiches like these to her children…

piano sandwich
face sandwich

crab sandwich art

Somehow, I think my kids will survive on plain old peanut butter and jelly just fine.

Plus, I won’t end up institutionalized when they chuck the masterpiece I spent three hours on directly into the trash can. Slacker moms for the win!

About the writer

What started as an innocent on-line baby book to chronicle Jill's stay-at-home days with her children, quickly transformed into a vibrant community of parents, brought together by a common theme: Parenting doesn’t have to be perfect. Learn more here.

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Keline 2 years ago

You’re not a loser, you ‘re just too busy parenting! Pinterest is the opposite of original – it ‘s where people go to take others’ creative ideas (and usually fail at replicating them). I’m a wedding planner, and Pinterest is the bane of my existence. You want a thousand paper-folded cranes hanging from the 80ft ceilings of the historic church you booked? That sounds great! Who’s doing it for you? (Cuz I sure as hell ain’t!!)

Jessica 2 years ago

Who wants to eat an opossum anyway???

Urban Mommy 2 years ago

I was wondering about that mouse. Easy to see how the kids might get confused…

Marta 2 years ago

Not only would I not spend the time on it, but I promise you nothing I would make would ever look that good. The closest I’ve gotten is trying to make heart shaped toast on Valentine’s Day. And the resemblance to a heart was vague at best.

Destinee 2 years ago

My oldest would flip out-he’d be afraid of hurting the butterfly or whatever and refuse to eat it!

Deborah 2 years ago

My boys would think…WTH? I just wanted a ham sandwich, Mom.

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

Am I a traitor for totally wanting to eat that piano?

Carrie 2 years ago

Wow. And to think nobody has time to whip up a piano sandwich.

What is this world coming to?

Kristin 2 years ago

my kids wouldn’t touch half of the shit that those sandwiches are made out of… not to mention how shitty they would look if I actually had the motivation to try to make anything but squares or triangles out of a sandwich… and it is just that… a freakin sandwich!!

Jen 2 years ago

Holy Shit! If there are moms that have time to do that in the morning then they should come over to my house and get my kids ready for school so that I can sleep.

Jessica, The Debt Princess 2 years ago

Our time as mothers and humans can be spent on a whole lot better activities than that. I’d rather clean my toilets after the boys have been in the bathroom daily than spend time making a sandwich like that.

Seriously though, I am a teacher and I think most parents would be shocked to see that half of what they pack ends up in the trash. We could feed whole countries just from what gets tossed in the garbage of most elementary schools.

Danielle 2 years ago

Aint nobody got time for that!

The Mean Mama 2 years ago

Isn’t. Serving bologna on whole wheat bread (bull) a bit of a contradiction?

My kids had toast for breakfast & lunch today…I thought adding banannas to the array of other toppings (butter or pb) was creative!

ButteryMuffyn 2 years ago

Take two slices of bread, slap on some butter, coat liberally with Marmite and cut in half. Done. Sometimes, it doesn’t even get cut in half.

ButteryMuffyn 2 years ago

Take two slices of bread, slap on some butter, coat liberally with Marmite and cut in half. Done. Sometimes, it doesn’t even get cut in halk.

Wendy 2 years ago

Good point!! Halloween is different though. lol

Colleen O’Leary 2 years ago

Sorry lol I have used the rat one for years for my kids (oldest now 27) on Halloween and even used cinnamon shot for beady red eyes!

Amy 2 years ago

Okay..so these are clever…and cute. But I know there is no way I would attempt anything like this…unless perhaps it’s to take a photo of my version next to the original for a good laugh.
I learned my lesson already about trying to do stuff like this, never again 😀

stacey 2 years ago

I thought it was an oppossum. ::gagshudderchills::

stacey 2 years ago

Wait…we are supposed to FEED them too? I just let my kids find something in the pantry if they are hungry. If one of them wants to make ME a mermaid sandwhich…I’ll be sitting in my easy chair watching Hoarders. 😉

KMarrs 2 years ago

In all fairness, The Bloggess would probably want to craft the armadillo (or maybe it is a rat?) for her daughter. But, that isn’t saying she could. Either way, only Jenny could get away with that.

Anita@ Losing Austin 2 years ago

I don’t even make regular boring ones anymore! My 9 year old is told to make his and his brother’s. So I couldn’t be further from that junk!

Gigi 2 years ago

Is it just me, or did that mouse thing creep anyone else out?

Jessica 2 years ago

Well, damn. I thought I was doing some pretty impressive work with the cookie cutters. And seriously? I find that to be a complete pain in the ass. My kids think its a special holiday when I bust out a train cookie cutter for their PB&J.

Sarah at Julia’s Child 2 years ago

Just makes me want to invent some rude versions…

Kat 2 years ago

I cannot imagine spending the time on any of these; not to mention how much food gets wasted when you cut these shapes out. These days, my kids are old enough that I tell them to make their own damn sandwiches or be hungry. They usually just slap two pieces of bread together with peanut butter in between, maybe some jam or honey too if they’re feeling fancy.

Mom Off Meth 2 years ago

I can’t even go on Pinterest, because it just makes me feel like a loser. I am so unoriginal in most things.

Alison 2 years ago

The time it’d take me to make one of these? The bread will dry out and taste like crap.

Though, the piano sandwich is IMPRESSIVE.

Heather 2 years ago

I can barely get the pop tarts in the toaster let alone craft some bullshit food like that! I try…I really do… I just have this block or something. True Story : I wrote a blog post about my horrible breakfast making skills, and after school pick up I was talking to my 12. yr. old on the drive home. It went like this… Me: I wrote a blog post about how bad I am at making food. The 12. yr. old : Yeah…well my friend’s mom packs him sauteed veggies for lunch every day. Me : How the heck does she send veggies to school?? The 12 yr. old : Tupperware mom, she uses tupperware. Me : blink, blink, blink…

Destinee 2 years ago

Oh good Lord…who the hell has time for that!? Ya, my kids will be going without it too. Such a deprived life they lead…

Amy – Funny is Family 2 years ago

Let’s call that what it is. Art. Not lunch. “Mom! Can I have a rat sandwich today?”

Janine Huldie 2 years ago

Or on the floor, too!! Seriously, what kind of person made these and they must not have little kids, because every time I try to do anything I get interrupted about 20 times before I just give up on a even a good day!!

Chris 2 years ago

Who has to work THAT hard to get their kids to eat?!? And you just know there’s some kid who whines “But I wanted a castle, not a pirate ship!” and refuses to eat anyway.

Wendy 2 years ago

Also, I can totally see this mom making them for her high schoolers and being the creepy mom.

Wendy 2 years ago

I don’t know if the idea of eating half that stuff is bothering me more or if thinking about how much was wasted is bothering me more. A rat?? Yuck.

Helen 2 years ago

Let me guess, Pinterest? Mine will survive without as well. They’re SOOO deprived!