Parenting

Science Says The Man Flu Is Real, Women Everywhere Say 'Oh, Shut Up'

by Maria Guido
Updated: 
Originally Published: 

Science says we need to stop making fun of men for being such babies when they get a cold. Yeah, whatever.

Men just aren’t championed enough, so science is stepping up to make sure we all know there’s a reason why they act like such giant fucking babies every time they get sick. According to new “research” men lack the estrogen it takes to fight off the flu as well as women. Strangely, that same estrogen pretty much totally fucks a woman over in every other aspect of her life: from how much she’s paid, to how seriously she’s taken professionally, to how much she’ll be expected to bear the load in a household. Yet according to a new study, it’s that same earning-potential-destroying-estrogen that gives women less to complain about when they get the flu.

Awesome.

Researchers set out to find if estrogen had any effect on the replication of cells in a virus. Apparently, it does. The team of researchers from John Hopkins University found that the antiviral properties of estrogen could protect women from aggressive symptoms of the virus. Men, who lack estrogen, are more prone to the infection and may experience “more severe” symptoms. From IFL Science: “For this particular study, the researchers wished to know if estrogen had any effect on the replication of the virus… Women do have more estrogen than men and the researchers suspected this may have something to do with why ‘man flu’ is a term without a female equivalent.”

[shareable_quote]Or for women without kids it’s simply known as “the flu” and you better not get too whiny about it because no one likes a woman who complains too much.[/shareable_quote]

There actually is a female equivalent to the “man flu” — it’s called the “mom flu.” It’s when you display the same symptoms as a man: body aches, sore throat, fever, runny nose, and cough — but no one gives a flying fuck and still expects you to make dinner. Or for women without kids it’s simply known as “the flu” and you better not get too whiny about it because no one likes a woman who complains too much. Also, can you put some concealer on that red nose? Not sexy.

So is popular culture taking this as proof that women are biologically superior and the world should promptly stop shitting all over them, trying to control their reproductive choices, and take them more seriously in a job market they’ll certainly be healthier for than men? Of course not. The big take away seems to be that men are allowed to whine. About a fucking runny nose.

Endure the experience of someone trying to grab your ass on the subway while your uterus feels like it’s being scooped out by a melon baller and you’ve just bled through your favorite pair of jeans, or try pushing and actual human out of your body while everyone tells you it’s something “anyone can do” so you should “bounce back” immediately, and we may be more inclined to cut you some slack about the fact that you act like the world is coming to an end when you have a low-grade fever.

Until that time, take some Thera-flu and shut up — you know, the way your wife does.

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