Need Some Hole-some Humor? Try These 55 SpongeBob Jokes For Kids & Adults

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Scene from SpongeBob SquarePants — SpongeBob jokes and puns

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Well, SpongeBob SquarePants, of course! One of the great things about SpongeBob is that he’s often beloved by both kids and adults. And since the show debuted back in 1999, almost everyone is familiar with it by now. Sure, you might find it perplexing that SpongeBob had far more seasons than other celebrated Nicktoons like Doug or Hey Arnold! But, regardless, it’s pretty cool that a Nickelodeon cartoon has been relevant for over 20 years. That means no matter who your audience is, they’ll probably understand and get a kick out of SpongeBob jokes.

Much like The Simpsons, SpongeBob SquarePants is enjoyable to a wide audience. Unsure what makes the show so funny? You can credit the writers. SpongeBob is known for thinking outside the box, and most episodes are very well thought out from start to finish. Some of the humor resonates more with adults, but it’s never inappropriate for kids watching. There are plenty of levels of SpongeBob! SpongeBob jokes for kids can be sweet and simple, while SpongeBob jokes for adults might take on a slightly sassier (or maybe even naughtier, depending on who you ask) tone.

Without further ado, here are some SpongeBob jokes and puns — including several straight from the show — that even Squidward would find funny.

SpongeBob Jokes for Kids

  1. How did SpongeBob find his way home?

Mussel memory.

  1. What did SpongeBob do when Patrick stole Gary?

He sued him in small clams court.

  1. Where does Mr. Krabs keep his money?

In the river bank.

  1. Why does Patrick often miss SpongeBob SquarePants?

Since SpongeBob isn’t a-round.

  1. Why did Mr. Krabs buy so many clocks?

Because time is money.

  1. Where should SpongeBob fans go in the hospital?

The Squid-ward.

  1. How did Squidward feel when an eel slithered into his clarinet?


  1. The lobster from SpongeBob is the funniest character on the show.

You might say he’s hi-larry-ous.

  1. Why is SpongeBob the main character…

when Patrick’s the Star?

  1. How did SpongeBob get around London?

With an oyster card!

  1. What kind of hair do SpongeBob and his friends have?


  1. Why did SpongeBob get a gym membership?

To get stronger mussels.

  1. What kind of music does SpongeBob listen to when he’s jellyfishing?

Something catchy.

  1. Why was Mr. Krabs so stingy?

He’s shellfish.

  1. How can you make Squidward laugh?

Give him ten-tickles!

  1. Where did Fred Rechid go to school?

At the School of Fish.

  1. SpongeBob: “I don’t think we can stop the dragon with our bare hands.”

Patrick: “Yeah, we need some gloves.”

  1. Why do people love SpongeBob so much?

He’s a very holesome guy.

  1. What kind of tea do SpongeBob and Patrick drink?

Pearl Grey.

  1. Why did SpongeBob wake up early?

To get the moist out of the day.

  1. Why do SpongeBob’s enemies not like him?

They think he’s too self-absorbed.

  1. Where does Patrick go when he needs to borrow money?

The prawnbroker.

  1. What did SpongeBob say after complimenting Mr. Krabs’ daughter?

“You’re whalecome.”

  1. Did you hear about what happened to SpongeBob’s house after the monsoon?

It was a clam-ity.

  1. What does Squidward say after telling a joke?

“I’m just squidding!”

  1. Why did Patrick join the circus as a human cannon ball?

He wanted to be a shooting star.

  1. What did SpongeBob say when Patrick disagreed with him?

“I don’t sea it that way!”

  1. Why did Mr. Krabs not trust his daughter?

He thought she’d blow a hole in his wallet.

  1. Why doesn’t Mr. Krabs play soccer?

He’s terrified of nets.

  1. What is SpongeBob’s favorite song?

“Holey Diver.”

  1. What did SpongeBob say to the Krabby Patty?

“Pleased to eat you!”

  1. Sandy: “There ain’t nothing you can say to stop me!”

SpongeBob: “Oh yeah? What if I said ‘blargen-feddible no-hip’?” Sandy: “Well, I gotta admit, that slowed me down.”

  1. How did SpongeBob react when he visited Sandy on the beach?

He waved.

  1. What kind of music does Patrick listen to?

Heavy rock.

  1. How can you tell Squidward and his sister are twins?

They’re itenticle.

  1. Why did the kid watch SpongeBob SquarePants while standing on their head?

It was pineapple upside-down cake day.

  1. Why is SpongeBob such a great listener?

He soaks up everything.

  1. What did SpongeBob tell Sandy when she visited?

“Long time no sea!”

  1. What does SpongeBob say when he’s confused?

“Can you please be more Pacific?”

  1. Why can’t SpongeBob make the honor roll?

Because he’s a C sponge!

  1. Why did Patrick take a shovel to the Krusty Krab?

Because Spongebob told him to dig in.

And a Little SpongeBob Humor for the Grown-ups, Too

  1. SpongeBob was the most unrealistic kid’s show…

A teenager in a minimum wage job owning a house and car.

  1. Who helped SpongeBob’s mom give birth?

A lobstetrician.

  1. What would you call it if SpongeBob ran for governor?

A (goofy) goobernatorial election.

  1. SpongeBob: “Hey, Patrick, what am I now?” (forms body to the shape of Texas)

Patrick: “Um… stupid?” SpongeBob: “No, I’m Texas!” Patrick: “What’s the difference?”

  1. What’s SpongeBob’s favorite bad habit?


  1. What’s in Squidward’s underpants?


  1. A favor for a neighbor is a good deed.

A favor for a favor is a quid pro quo. A favor for SpongeBob’s neighbor is squid pro quo.

  1. Why did Elaine from Seinfeld love SpongeBob?

He was truly sponge-worthy.

  1. Why did SpongeBob blush?

He saw Bikini Bottom.

  1. My wife has been mad at me lately because she says I need to get my priorities straight.

I told her we can talk about it after this episode of SpongeBob.

  1. Mermaid Man: “Why else would we run around in colored undies?”

Squidward: “I can think of three good reasons.”

  1. Why does SpongeBob hate going on the beach?

He’s worried about getting sandy cheeks.

  1. SpongeBob: “What could be better than serving up smiles?”

Squidward: “Being dead or anything else.”

  1. Why couldn’t SpongeBob get a mortgage?

Because his house was underwater.

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