One of the first things we discover as new moms is the feeling of being pulled in approximately 1,513,538 directions — between trying to take care of these tiny humans, the house, the job, our friendships, and, oh right, ourselves, life gets overwhelming, real super fast. So how do we manage? Not well, at first, but by quickly realizing that prioritizing was key. And, unfortunately, mundane errands like going to CVS got pushed to the bottom of the list, taking things like “making sure we have enough deodorant to get us through the week” and “looking presentable as a mom” down with it. (We know, we know, these are the best days of motherhood.) And we’re not even mentioning what happens when our husband runs out of body wash — it ain’t pretty, ladies.
Enter Amazon Subscribe & Save, the saving grace beauty and grooming subscription service for mamas who don’t have time to make it to the store, and most definitely don’t have time to think about what they need to buy, anyway. Not only does it offer all the shipping benefits of Amazon (all hail the two-day diaper delivery), but with a few quick clicks, Subscribe & Save, as the name implies, lets you program regular, recurring deliveries of the same items however often you want, and at a discount to boot (and beyond for Prime members). Like, what, how did people survive pre-internet? How did we survive pre-Amazon? There are tons of brands and products available, too, so you’ll likely find all your favorite things, and since it’s easy to cancel (or press skip), your deliveries can change as quickly as your kiddo’s mood. You don’t have to thank us now, thank us when the delivery arrives. Every month. Or now. Whatever.
Best for Maintaining That Mane
Of all the things I think about on a daily basis, the only time shampoo and conditioner cross my mind are when I’m in the shower, at the exact moment I’m attempting to harvest what’s left from each bottle and make it spread across my entire head. Then? Out of my mind until the next time, when I again realize I’ve dropped the ball and may have to consider the water wash, sans soap, clean enough. All this is to say, I need my shampoo to appear at my door without my having to do anything, before this situation occurs, then occurs again, and then probably again. And being one of the most recognizable names in haircare, Pantene is always reliable and does, well, exactly what it says. I’m all for directness these days, and for that, I am wiser, and my hair is better.
Best for Looking *100*
I have many tools in my arsenal that make me look way more put together than I actually am (or than I actually feel on a daily basis), but none — I repeat, NONE — are more powerful or important or life-saving than a good undereye concealer. Dark circles are the enemy of any exhausted mama just trying to look like herself on a good day, and this Maybelline concealer is my personal weapon of choice to fight the good fight. Plus, it helps take a few years off my face (almost all of which my kids put on there for me to begin with, so…) by brightening my skin, which is always a welcomed treat, right?
Best for Keeping Your Beau’s Face Fresh
Even if you’re lucky enough to have found a dude who actually cares about his personal appearance, chances are, he’s not so great about actually buying the products he needs to achieve his goals. This is particularly true when you consider that women are responsible for as much as 80% of consumer purchases (we spoil them, don’t we?). So don’t forget your list for him when you’re setting up your subscriptions: Things like Gillette blades are on constant order in our house, given that my husband’s facial hair seems to grow faster than my toddler’s fingernails, which I continue to clip nearly daily, and yet, they are always sharp. However often he swaps his blades out, a little preparation will prevent that five o’clock shadow from becoming a ten o’clock shadow!
Best for Being Bright-Eyed (and Bushy-Tailed?)
Did you know you’re supposed to change your mascara every couple of months? Full disclosure: I did, but yet, I still use my 2012 somehow-not-yet-dried-out tube because who in god’s name actually remembers to buy eye makeup at the store? That’s all about to change, though, thanks to my latest discovery. Cult beauty products have a cult following for a reason — chances are they work, are relatively affordable and, by definition, aren’t quite yet known to the masses. And this mascara? The perfect example. One coat will have you looking like you got those lash extensions you never found the time to actually sit down and get, and it’s pretty strong in the smudge-proof category, even if your toddler is way too into touching your eyeballs these days. And with thousands of 4 and 5 star reviews on Amazon, you know you’re getting a product that’s legit. And if that’s not enough to convince you, consider that it bills itself as “the secret to French beauty,” which is like, duh, ok, how do I look French, please?
Best for Faking That Showered Lewk
Ah, dry shampoo, the beauty world’s worst kept secret, greasy hair’s worst nightmare and my personal frenemie. Sure, dry shampoo buys at least an extra day or two on that hair wash when you don’t have time to squeeze in shower longer than three minutes before a toddler does something that requires attention, but some of them also leave powdery films that make you look like you’re part-ghost, part-human and/or battling a bad case of dandruff. (To be fair, it feels like both may be true on some days, but I digress.) Batiste, however, is the holy grail of dry shampoo: Its scent is as lightweight as the formula itself so it won’t overpower in enclosed spaces, it doesn’t leave that telltale white residue, and, of course, it actually freaking works. So, yes, please deliver this to my door on the regular and keep my charade of mom-who-bathes-herself up and running in perpetuity. It’s a win for all (and their noses), really.
Best for an Eyebrow Edit
Things that always grow back: Eyebrow hair. Things that I never remember to groom appropriately until it’s pretty obvious looking: Eyebrow hair. Things that keep me from looking like a unibrow-sporting mess: This touch-up tool. Because even though getting to the waxer at any normal interval can seem next to impossible, you still deserve to have some on-point, Meghan Markle-ish brows that frame your face ever-so-perfectly. And just like razor blades, you’ll need a fresh one every now and again, so it’s far too perfect that Amazon can ship them to your door without any work on your part at all. Not to be dramatic or anything, but it’s like the eyebrow angels dropping a gift on your doorstep every time you need it.
Best for His #HairGoals
Some men start styling their hair at a young age, and some have to be forced into it by their better halves. No matter which side of the coin yours falls on, this styling cream should probably be a staple in your home. It’s top-rated, and for good reason: Not only does it hold even the most coarse, unruly hair in place, but it also actually conditions as it works. Plus, it’s easy to use (he can just swipe it in with his hands each morning), so even the lowest maintenance man will be able to make it work and look his best. Wouldn’t it be amazing if women could just pop in a little gel and look as put-together as they do? Just one of life’s many great inequities, I suppose.
Best for Facial Finesse
So. many. things. about my self-care routine have gone out the window since I had my little monsters (whom I love more than anything on this planet, FYI), but one thing I refuse to give up is my daily ritual of taking my makeup off properly. Not only does it help keep my skin fresh (adjectives are all relative, folks), but it makes it way easier to skip changing my sheets a time or two when there’s no gross makeup residue on the pillowcase. And because I haven’t been living under a rock, these Neutrogena wipes have long since been a staple — the only difference now, of course, is that I don’t even need to take notice of when I’m running low because there’s always another box of them on their way to me, anyway.
Best for Max Moisturization
Is moisturization a word? It totally should be a word. Even pre-flu season, tiny immune systems running around my house meant that I was washing my hands with almost alarming frequency, and forcing every other adult who walked through my front door, willing or otherwise, to do the same. The result? Fewer germs, sure, but also dry skin from knuckles to wrist that was very 300-year-old-witch-chic. To combat it, I’ve tried literally every lotion brand they sell at the drugstore, and discovered that, yes, CeraVe is totally as great as it’s hyped up to be. It’s saved me from a life of tiny bloody cracks and itchy discomfort, and I can all but guarantee it’ll save you, too, ladies.
Best for a Blinding Bite
Ok, fine, I’ll concede — all complaining aside, I do still find time to brush my teeth twice a day. I’m not a savage, folks. But that doesn’t mean they’re as white as I want them to be. (To be fair, I’ve been mulling over whitening treatments for decades and can’t blame this one on my littles, except that I may drink more coffee now, which totally has an effect on my pearly not-so-whites, right?) Instead of sitting back and letting the dingy yellow take over, I’ve decided I’m taking control of my dental destiny with nightly whitestrips that go the distance. And since good things happen to those who actually commit to making things happen, consistency is definitely key, which is, you know, possible, thanks to my subscription on Amazon. No more excuses, play like a winner, a winner with a beautiful smile.
Best for Going on a Blender Bender
Beauty blenders are a great way to blend contour lines, bronzer and blush when you find the time to actually apply those things, but here’s the gross part: They also get like a ton of bacteria and become super disgusting, super quickly. The solve? Get a new one and swap yours out, all the time. The practical solve? Subscribe to have a pack of five delivered to your door on a monthly basis, so you can do all that swapping out without any heavy lifting on your part. It’ll save you from touching your face all the time (did you know the oils on your fingers can actually cause more break outs when you do?) and it’ll keep your skin away from all sorts of bacteria you can’t, and don’t want to, pronounce that lurks in weeks-old makeup sponges. Hooray for innovation, hooray for invention!
Best D.O for the B.O
I admit, I was suckered into buying my new obsession after being targeted online, but HOLY SHIT was it the best decision I’ve ever made at 6 in the morning. Native is the best, best, best deodorant brand out there, and makes aluminum-free products that 1) work to keep you from smelling like crap, 2) come in a whole array of awesome scents and 3) have tiny, travel-sized buddies that you can pack in every purse you own to keep you smelling great (see #1, above) all the live long day. Don’t believe me? Ask the thousands and thousands of other Amazon users who are as obsessed as I am. We wouldn’t lie to you, promise.
Best for Your Husband’s Hygiene
How is it that men seem to go through body wash so. damn. quickly? Sure, mine has more surface area to cover than I do when it comes to cleaning, but still, he seems to be in need of a refresh at a nearly impossible clip. And while I can’t answer the mystery of why, I most certainly can say that subscribing to regular deliveries of his favorite Nivea soap has saved both of us headaches, and made me look like the hero with very, very little forethought. And who doesn’t want to get extra hero points at home?
And now that, no doubt, your shopping mojo is flying high, check out more Scary Mommy beauty picks for must-have products you need (and, frankly, deserve).