That 'Perfect Mom' At Halloween? This Is Her Secret

by Maria Guido
Originally Published: 

So THAT’S how she does it.

Look, don’t take it personally if you’re one of those parents who manages to pull all sorts of holiday magic off, time and time again. You get to excel at parenting, the rest of us get to make ourselves feel better by poking fun at you. Life is fair like that.

For those of us who suck at crafts and holidays — I have some advice. If you haven’t pulled together your child’s Halloween costume yet, do not, I repeat, DO NOT visit Pinterest for inspiration. That is a rabbit hole you don’t need to go down. It ends with you feeling sorry for your kids and yearning to be adopted yourself by several amazing women on the internet. Instead, hop online and pray all the good costumes aren’t sold out on Amazon, and that they qualify for Prime shipping so you can get them on time. Or have a giant cup of coffee, stretch, and steel yourself for the nightmare that is Party City the week before Halloween.

If you’re needing to bring the dreaded snack into school – unhand that bag of candy corn. There’s a super easy classroom treat you can use that takes virtually no effort – witches’ hats. Buy some fudge stripe cookies, flip them over, slap some frosting around the center and shove a Hershey’s kiss on it. Voilá:

Image via Maria Guido

I suck at everything and I made those. They’re meant to have little buckles fashioned from yellow gummy tape — but, yeah – NO.

So grab the last Spider Man costume that’s two sizes to big for your child, make some crappy snacks, and reward yourself with a few dozen fun-size Snickers.

There’s always next year.

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