The Victoria’s Secret Swim Catalog Buying Guide

Get ready all you moms out there: The Victoria’s Secret 2014 Swim Catalog has arrived. Actually, it has arrived several times; how many of these do we really need? Reminding me once a year that I’m two chin hairs and a thigh dimple away from being a troll is quite enough.

Dear Victoria’s Secret: You have sufficiently put me in my place. You can cease with the psychological warfare. Oh but wait, I get a free tote with my order! I guess when you only get one square of fabric to cover your ass crack, they want you to feel like you’re getting your money’s worth.

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For starters, this is the shit I keep pulling out of the mailbox.  Hello ass cheeks.  Why yes, I had a good day at work thankyouverymuch.  I start looking through this magazine and I just keep wondering why I get this in the mail.  I can’t wear this shit.  I don’t even know anyone who can wear this shit…or WOULD wear this shit even if they had an ass like that.  If you are showing your ass crack at the beach, what’s the point in wearing a t-shirt? Do you get two totes with this one?

Candice-Swanepoel-pour-Victoria-s-Secret_portrait_w858

And then there’s this, which I find disturbing. She is wearing what looks like a toddler bikini top and is demanding a sucker or will throw an embarrassing tantrum. But then where are her bottoms? Oh, there they are. My bad.

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And this one is just stupid. Yes, I’d like for my chest to look like a xylophone ALL SUMMER LONG. Hello other moms at the Y. Yes, I’m desperately holding on to my 20’s.

600full-candice-swanepoel

You’d best be mowing it close if you’re going to wear this one. But she’s probably not old enough to have pubic hair, though, so no worries. Someone once told me the way a guy can tell if a girl is old enough for him to look at is if she has “ass fold”. This is the fold between the ass and back leg. I’m not a betting woman (well, unless I’m drinking), but I’m going to put a $20 on ZERO ass fold.

Barbara Palvin Doutzen Kroes and Miranda Kerr in bikinis for Victorias Secret 2013 -03-640x862

In case you just must have a VS swim suit, but prefer to keep your crack to yourself, here’s your other style option. There’s apparently no middle ground at VS. You’re either showing everything you have or channeling your great grandmother’s swim diaper. Seriously, this looks like a DIAPER. I guess if you aren’t 85 lbs. then you might as well just be a whole 120!

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They forgot to rinse this one off. And wake her up.

Britt-Maren-01

If you’re chasing children at the beach, I suppose an ass crack bikini isn’t that bad. At least it’s convenient since chasing kids usually ends up in a wedgie anyway. No more pulling your bottoms out of your crack, mom friends. You can just leave it up in there. Fashion forward, bitches.

If you’re considering purchasing one of these bikinis, then I’m going to give you some suggestions for standing in public. Apparently, this is what you need to do. DO. NOT. MOVE. Or whatever isn’t already out is probably going to fall out.

Standing positions available to you:

CamilleRowe-60

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Free-Shipping-high-end-hot-drilling-Push-Up-font-b-Padded-b-font-font-b-Bikini

Hope you found your swimsuit for this summer, and glad I could help. If I ruined your day, look at this way: At least YOU get to eat. These girls are starving for the betterment of humanity and the empowerment of women everywhere. Snort.

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<insert pizza for dinner here>

<insert third glass of wine here>

Opening trash, putting this stupid catalog in there with the rest of the rotten shit, and moving on.

Happy summer!

{All images from victoriassecret.com}

About the writer

Mandy is a famous astronaut turned writer. Just kidding, but she has been writing embarrassing poems about boys and zits since she was 12 years old. This Kentucky mom is married with two boys, and is originally from Catlettsburg, which could possibly be where 80’s hair originated. Her kids already understand how to place a trifecta at the horse track, and all her extended family gatherings feature fireworks and beer.  She has a graduate degree in International Relations from the University of Kentucky, but has never international-related a day in her life. You can find her at Words by the glass.

From Around the Web

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Mallory 3 months ago

Victoria’s Secret isn’t for everyone. Just as Lane Bryant isnt for everyone. No need for the hatred. If I happen to post something that made fun of larger women in full coverage swimwear, I would be crucified. Just saying. Not cool.

zerofux 5 months ago

Whoever wrote this is either fat or miserable. Hell probably both I hope this is a joke because these women are bangin.

Emma 5 months ago

think twice about telling these girls ” to eat a hamburger ” they work hard for their bodies. I follow a lot of them and they have their fair share of pizza, cake and partying. They work out because basically its their job. yes these girls are skinny but they are healthy skinny. if skinny girl can’t tell an over weight person to work out then an over weight person can’t tell a skinny girl to eat some food.

brianna 7 months ago

I love you I love you I love you

brianna 7 months ago

Author should read this. Does she actually want her children to grow up with the idea that all women should look a certain way? Skinny or not, let them be happy in their own skin and don’t judge them for it.

brianna 7 months ago

Shut the fuck up oh my god. Just because you don’t like the product and the size of the girls who wear them does NOT give you a right to skinny-shame. You sound like a bratty teenager going on a rampage about how much your life sucks because you’re fat. Don’t take your insecurities out on others, there are also girls who cannot help their thin build. And these swimsuits are very tasteful for those women.
You are an arrogant, angry woman who needs to mature a little bit more before you write another article. Your opinions just come off as rude, uncalled for, and absolutely bitchy.
Keep to your grandma-patterened one pieces and I’ll keep to my VS swimsuits. That way, everyone is happy because they’re doing what they want but not shamelessly bashing each other for it.

concernedcitizen 7 months ago

You don’t hate VS or their swimsuits. You hate the girls you wish you (maybe still) looked like. Sorry, but there are still a lot of young, lithe bodies out there who need swimsuits. You don’t have to buy yours at VS. But get over the fact that you don’t look like you used to. You can still be beautiful in your own bodies. If you ditch these hateful, jealous, bitch-ass attitudes… I have, for a while, contended that middle class 30-something moms are some of the most unhappy people on earth. I see it all around me. Bitter, unfulfilled, jealous, and hateful people. They hide it under the guise of having the perfect little “family they always wanted”. Maybe even though both kids were an accident and they secretly loathe that minivan, the YMCA, and all their “friends”. If she still had the ass she had when she was 22, she would still be skating around town, taking advantage of thirsty dudes willing to gamble on the warts she might pass their way, but now she can’t. Now she is the perfect mommy, looking down her nose at the twenty something’s still in the game pulling off her old tricks… America, 2015.
Stop subjecting the people around you to your unhappiness and just live your life the best you can.

Michaela 7 months ago

It makes me so sad to see all these mothers commenting and shaming these ladies for how slender they are. I myself am a tiny woman with a flat stomach. I do not starve myself, and neither do these models. I have always been this way. However we do take care of ourselves by working out and eating the right things, and we even eat pizza, shocker I know.

If I were to see my mother posting this and judging women like this, I would be very very upset.

Jeni Marx 8 months ago

This has got to be the best blog I’ve ever read! Well done!

Sidney 8 months ago

I find this super offensive. I am a woman who works out and eats healthy and that allows me to feel confident to wear bikinis like this. Just because a woman is fit does not mean she is starving herself. Most of these models are very healthy and active and that is why they are thin. Women of all shapes and sizes are beautiful and should be lifted up. No one should be put down or feel less about themselves because they aren’t thin enough or because they are too thin. Women should empower and embrace each other, not knock each other down.

Jason Green 8 months ago

This is dumb, nobody told your fat ass to have kids and ruin your body. Work out and work hard and stop bitching about women that work hard for their bodies and look better than you and move on with your life. Geez

Penny 8 months ago

I posted a comment but it didn’t show up?

Well…I am in my 30s, and athletic/slender, have a big booty, and wear tiny bikini bottoms. Feels like this whole article is super judgmental. Shouldn’t we promote women loving their bodies no matter what size (big or small)? I have a sense of humor about it all, but the last thing I would want to promote is being nasty toward other women, especially based on how they look. :)

Even wrote a blog post about

http://mamasbeendrinkin.com/2014/12/29/its-all-about-that-judgment/

Wednesday7377 8 months ago

“then” Jim Hatters. And you sound wicked insecure. Women aren’t looking, or “drooling” as you so inelegantly state, over what I guess you feel is an ‘ideal’ man. It’s a shame it seems you’ll never feel or experience the real love of a confident woman. The jesting idea of the article is that a confident woman can only be a VS Angel. And thank you to the young ladies, one claiming to be 21 years old, who seem to think she has a voice in this discussion. I am not denying her voice or ideas, I am simply asking her and others to temper their ideas of body image if they are not 40+ years old, and have not been sliced open like a holiday ham more than two times. If you qualify for that group? you may make all the fun you can over nubile 12 year olds wearing strings as clothing. This is your wake up call.

And I’d like to meet Meika

Vicky Carnevale 8 months ago

Funny!!

Mell113 8 months ago

I have 2 of these offending baithing suits. This site just seems so judge mental and aimed at scaring the shit out of you. Well done…. :-/

Toni Barroqueiro 8 months ago

Lmao

Natalee Dagny Nassar 8 months ago

I miss wearing VS. Not because it doesn’t fit my body but because it supports apartheid. All lives matter. Maybe when they move their manufacturing out of the West Bank I’ll wear it again.
#FreePalestine

Eden Boehler 8 months ago

LMAO, fashion forward, bitches!

Sarah Jane Sheehan 8 months ago

Hahaha very true well written

Karlene 8 months ago

Sorry Sara, but 5’6″ and 110 lbs is too fat to be a model. They would most certainly make you lose at least 20 lbs! FACT! You would have to be at least 6′ tall to be allowed a weight/size of 110 lbs!! Sad but true!

Both ends of the weight spectrum can be very dangerous!

Kelly McCully Chesnut 8 months ago

This is all very funny. I worked at VS and know that they sell – through the catalog- bathing suits that have been worn/return ed & tried on-used to get complaints about “stains”! Cheap crapola!

Penny 8 months ago

Well…I am in my 30s, and athletic/slender, have a big booty, and wear tiny bikini bottoms. Feels like this whole article is super judgmental. Shouldn’t we promote women loving their bodies no matter what size (big or small)? I have a sense of humor about it all, but the last thing I would want to promote is being nasty toward other women, especially based on how they look. :)

Richard 8 months ago

You really make a point. So, you’re too lazy to work out and you have no self control when it comes to eating. Great. We don’t want to see you at the beach to begin with.

Barb Croteau 8 months ago

The comments are actually more hilarious than the buying guide! Some people are just downright angry! Maybe because their thong is too tight!!!

Chandra H. Dalmia 8 months ago

Amen to the normal mommies everywhere!!!

Angela Baugh 8 months ago

Disempowering women since ……

Jen 8 months ago

jeez you, as well as your commenters sound a little bitter and self-loathing. If you chose to have kids, and chose not to work out and lose the baby weight that you’ve been holding onto for a little longer than you’d like, that is your problem.. Articles like this, and the crowd bashing that follows, is just sad.

These girls may not have the “ideal body” but does that mean you do?

Brigette Woodard Fritz 8 months ago

Teenage girls couldn’t afford this stuff. Lol so I’d say, yes, their moms are the target audience.

Brigette Woodard Fritz 8 months ago

Love this.

Jennifer Tick Sanders 8 months ago

Hilarious. …it’s called photoshop and vs most Definitely uses it too.

Erin Welch 8 months ago

I don’t agree with this post. Women are beautiful! Fat ones, skinny ones, dark ones, pale ones, you name it. There is nothing more beautiful than what our bodies were built to do. So what if you have a mole on your butt… hold your head up high! Women need to stop putting other women down and start loving and supporting each other… no matter the body type! Sending love to all my sisters! To include the transgender sisters! Xoxox

Melissa Segura Mary Kay 8 months ago

Wow. Haterrrrrrrr lol

Jim Hatters 8 months ago

What is even more funny is how over weight people are saying “thin” is unhealthy. Hate to tell you, “plus” sizers but you face a lot more health issues being 30-40 pounds over weight then someone who is 10 pounds under weight. For example, a 5’6″ women @ 120 pounds is much better off health wise then a 5’6″ @ 170-180 pounds, which is probably the size of those of who who are screaming how 5’6″ 120 pounds is so unhealthy thin!!!

Jim Hatters 8 months ago

You know I would feel sorry for you women and say “it’s not fair” you shouldn’t have to look at the VS models and be reminded what you are not… not even close to looking like. But before I start to shed a tear for you I remember you women are the same ones who drool over half naked men that I will never look like either. So you can’t have it both ways. What it really comes down to is being comfortable with ourselves and knowing it is unrealistic for 98% of us to look like models that we BOTH drool and lust over. Don’t bitch about the VS women when you get all moist and giddy over their male equivalents!!!

Sharon Pearlstein 8 months ago

Look at their photos to see how high and mighty they are. Christie poses for pics with a chunky little girl so she should check herself before getting on her fat shaming soap box. She’s not much to look at as a non fat person to be talking shit about other females

Michelle Baker 8 months ago

Please this is funny as hell. And for those of you pissy cause you love vs, get real you couldn’t look that good with plastic surgery and anorexia, no one looks as good as the high priced models…keep dreaming.

Eric H Anderson 8 months ago

Is it ok if I just looked at the pics? ….I think I still got it.

Kaitlin Tart 8 months ago

The way I see this is if you can look good in a VS bikini, I’m happy for you. I, personally, had a c section for a 9.5lb baby a month ago, and am still not allowed to even walk too much because my incision keeps opening a little. I’m probably a good two months away from even being allowed to ease back into fitness. For now, it’s dieting, and giving up swimsuit season until 2016 lol

Katherine Watkins 8 months ago

I think it’s the teenaged boys that prefer the catalogs….

Ashton Cargile 8 months ago

Bahaha! I didn’t even think of that!!

Rita Templeton 8 months ago

I love this one so much!

Sarah Hogan 8 months ago

Wear what makes you feel sexy….be stylish. What us wrong with that? If the suit fits 😉

Melissa Racine 8 months ago

Almost died laughing! What is number 1????

Michelle Maddalla 8 months ago

Awesome.

Amber Bardis 8 months ago

Omg, ridiculous. I was laughing so hard!

Lisa Katz 8 months ago

Absolutely hilarious!!! Thanks for the laugh!!

Georgia DiBattista 8 months ago

Lmao! Love it!

Melissa Baileey 8 months ago

“Fashion forward bitches!” LMAO

Cheryl Plunket Ricks 8 months ago

I absolutely loved this article! No she isn’t bitter just realistic! What is wrong with making fun? If I see anyone wearing one of those and standing like that on the beach, I will be LMAO!!! Thanks for the laugh!

Courtney Justine Bray 8 months ago

HAHAHAA the last line!!!

Linda Roberts Horsman 8 months ago

Oh, I get it now. Victoria’s Secret is that she is a slut!

Rhiannon Smith 8 months ago

Bahahahaha!!! Diaper? Idk, depends!!

Nicole Miller 8 months ago

Wow. Your insecurity is showing. One don’t say they are starving because they are not, I’ve been starving and I never looked like that. They work their ass of for that body! So if they want to wear it, go right ahead! Maybe I’m biased because I love VS but they can charge what they do because people want it and will pay it. I have some of the suits and they make me feel amazing. I’ve had 2 kids and that doesn’t mean I can’t wear it now. Eff that

Josh Moffitt 8 months ago

If it pisses you off, get your ass in shape and stop being bitter that you’re not willing to put in the effort! Too many people ready to jump on the bandwagon claiming that’s not how people “really” look. Go to your local gym and see that your assumptions are out of line.

Terri Case-Bateson 8 months ago

These models don’t even look like this!

Sara Moffitt 8 months ago

I don’t find this funny at all. I think the author is completely rude and bitter. Lots of moms wear stuff like this. If you don’t like your body, then freakin do something about it. Don’t make fun of those who work hard!

Olivia Spencer 8 months ago

I don’t love VS because their product is cheap knock offs of well made designer lingerie. They also do not carry my bra size 32 FF but I can wear their swim wear. Medium bottom XL string top. VS does make weird swimwear that no one should wear (xylophone top) but if you stick to basics tie top and bottom it’s okay. I do hate mom body shaming. I’ve had two kids and still look great in a bikini. Motherhood doesn’t equal a bad body.

Heather Terlecki Rutter 8 months ago

Email those stupid people and tell them to stop sending you their trash.

Kate Burnham 8 months ago

This makes me laugh every time!!!

Shane Suber 8 months ago

The hate in this article is hilarious.

Ashley Beyer Elliff 8 months ago

So funny!

RickJomey Straney 8 months ago

Awesome. I just got to look at all of those pics without a word out Jomeypasion! Thanks, Erica!

Jamie Myers Blair 8 months ago

This is hilarious!

Mac 8 months ago

This “poor woman” that you claim doesn’t eat is married to a chef at a very popular NY restaurant. She’s my cousin and I can attest that she eats quit well. She’s naturally beautiful.

Kristen Larsen 8 months ago

If it weren’t for the fact that I love this page, the comments here would send me to clicking the unlike button pretty damn fast. Clearly many women on Scary Mommy have not taken to heart the entire purpose to this page. Less judgment, more understanding!!

BenandMari Martinez 8 months ago

Lmao I love it!

Geri Allen Jablonski 8 months ago

Hysterical!

Mindy Crosswhite 8 months ago

If you have the body and don’t starve yourself…rock it! I appreciate seeing a beautiful woman…whether they are a size 0 or size 22! A lot of how sexy a woman looks is how she holds herself and thinks of herself :)

Melissa Cole 8 months ago

Don’t read an article that’s supposed to be silly and sarcastic if you can’t handle it. Grow the hell up. Some people bounce back after kids and some don’t.
Who are you to tell people to “get your ass to the gym” really? Stfu and don’t like the article. Those of us that have kids, full time jobs and a life in general aren’t shaming you for being skinny we just enjoy reading an article that we can actually relate to.

Tiara Martin 8 months ago

Disagree I love my vs swimsuits and undergarments n clothing just because you’re a mom doesn’t mean u can never be tight n firm and in shape again just takes a little time n commitment having a child should never be an excuse to let yourself go we should be teaching our children healthy habits!

Shanna Sykes Hill 8 months ago

Need a “love” button

Jessica 8 months ago

I was actually very happy to see this front cover and all the new goodies inside!! I am a 35 year old mom of two boys (4 and 6 years old) and I always wished VS would come out with less coverage bikini bottoms. There is nothing wrong with looking healthy and sexy! I say rock it if you have it! I work out, eat healthy and shop for tiny bikinis :-)

Lauren Shealy 8 months ago

Kinda funny that several people on here that posted that they are still in shape and can wear these suits really are not in shape!! Denial!!!

Nicole Lynn 8 months ago

I just find that my taste has changed as I’ve gotten older. These bathing suits are fun if you are in a private pool w/ your husband, but as a professional w/ two children I would feel uncomfortable (even though I am thin and in shape) at a beach like this. I like my Tankini’s, or boy shorts bathing suits. I can be more active in them chasing after two small kids. Some of these other swim suits are going to fly right off in mid air if you do more than lay there on a towel!

Elyse Geise 8 months ago

Lol!!!

Ricki Weinman Dworkin 8 months ago

This is hilarious! I literally get 1 or 2 VS catalogs a day in the mail. My 20yr old daughter & I make fun of a lot of the suits, ie the xylophone suit. I actually can wear & have some suits from VS, even after having 3 kids. I would never wear the ones that go up my butt (& neither would my daughter!) I applaud the writer & realize this was done tongue & cheek.

Cortney Matern 8 months ago

Greatness!!!

Shelly Coley 8 months ago

Love this!!

Jordan Lemarier 8 months ago

The problem is none of the models even look like they do in the catalogue. If you do look like them, eat a f***ing cheeseburger every three days. You’d look less anorexic.

Brandy Lopez Barbee 8 months ago

Just because you can wear something doesn’t mean you should….. Loved article

Vicky Lee 8 months ago

This cracked me up lol

Snobahr 8 months ago

look at the images carefully. They are SEVERELY photoshopped. They are most obvious at the thigh gaps, and xylophone chest (seriously, her left arm? The upper arm is apparently broken).
Victoria’s Secret can kiss my well-padded backside.

Katie De Oliveira Anderson 8 months ago

I can wear that without a problem, I look way better now than before i had my baby, I work out and eat clean, anyone can look like that!

Cassaundra Thompson 8 months ago

I think if the author could wear any of these this piece wouldnt have been written, or at least not so bitter and jealous sounding. Just because a woman can wear a bikini without making the free world want to puke doesnt mean she is starving. Before having my daughter I stayed between a 2 and a 4. Im now a 6. Can I wear these? Yep! Would I? Nope, but only because Im nearly 37 with a 3 1/2 year old and I think its a bit inappropriate at this stage in life. Now gimme a bikini that covers my ass and Im in it!

Rebecca McAfee 8 months ago

I prefer to spend what little free time I DO have with my family and not at the gym working out so I can look like that.

Stephanie Eads Thornton 8 months ago

This is probably my favorite post ever.

Cora Turnage Ray 8 months ago

The thing is, we all know that if we could wear these, we would!!!! If my ass looked like that, you can bet yours I would several of these.

Charlotte Taylor 8 months ago

Funny thing is…. A lot
Of the models of VS are mommies. They just work their asses off (literally) because it’s their job . :)

Brittany Conkling 8 months ago

lol! I like their normal bikini tops, but I get my bottoms else where

Jessica Holden Lauderdale 8 months ago

I have a sense of humor, so this was funny to me!

Ashley Johnson 8 months ago

Love it!

Bianca Auld 8 months ago

I am a 37 year old mom and I don’t have my 22 year old body anymore but I still love VS! Certain styles I don’t wear anymore that’s all… Some of those models starve and some of them are just naturally thin. That said, I think this article was hilarious! I actually asked VS for more mommy friendly suits and they obliged but went way too matronly for me! Their PJs and Angel bras are still great and I love their cotton high cut briefs!

Angela Hawley 8 months ago

1. Photo shop on anything that is not perfect!
2. Yes this is marketed for a younger age group..
3. But … The younger age group is usually spending moms money
4. I am small ( profile pic no lies) but even small does not warrant something up my butt in public…

Crystal Gard 8 months ago

The one with the xylophone.. Lol. Who would want that tan line? :)

Amanda Allen Walls 8 months ago

I still wear the same style of string bikini after 2 c sections. I just buy a bigger size now. I’m never going to look like someone who hasn’t had babies because I’m never going to be that girl again. It’s my body and I will damn well wear what I feel comfortable in.

Tracy Cooney 8 months ago

LMAO!!! Awesome.

Candace McNabb 8 months ago

Humorous article; however I’m not going to lie…if my body looked like the VS models, I’d rock the crap out of any bathing suit that looked good on me.

Rachel Rick 8 months ago

lol!

Janelle Wilenta 8 months ago

Some of these models have had two children (Alessandra and Adrianna). Granted they probably have nutritionists and trainers but I’m not going to sit here and hate them for it. They worked for their bods!

Pamela Alejandra Lopez 8 months ago

Sometimes it depresses me that I don’t have the body I had before my two children (a two year old and a 4mo old) but posts like this make me not feel as bad lol. Plus if my husband still has the hots for me that’s good enough for me!!!

Michelle Jerome Cobbett 8 months ago

Fashion forward, bitches. *favorite line, ever*

Melanie Connors Irwin 8 months ago

Omg!! Calm your tits!!! It was sarcasm…..don’t like it, don’t read it, keep on scrolling!!!

I, for one, loved it!!!

Liza 8 months ago

Amazing

Brittany Stephens 8 months ago

I love VS ❤️

Leigh Baldwin Anderson 8 months ago

Laughed out loud!!!!! So true!

Sarah Jo Naylor 8 months ago

I have had two kids and a third on the way. I am very small. I wouldn’t wear these bathing suits only because they are way too
Reveling and kind of stupid looking. I am cautious about women telling other women that they are starving or they need to eat just as I am offended for anyone to tell anyone to lose weight. People are the way they are, it’s never okay to shame any body type. That being said, this article was hilarious in the way it made fun of the ridiculous bathing suits. Unless you’re in Brazil, these are just a circus..lol!

Christie Looney 8 months ago

I don’t get it… I love VS and if you can’t wear their products that’s your problem, not theirs. Those girls aren’t starving, every last one of them is very well toned and muscular. Excuse the fuck outta her for being healthy…

Shaye Boucher 8 months ago

I quite like the animal print swim suit…but since I’m not Spring breaking in Cancun with my sorority sisters, I’ll pass and find something just as cute but age appropriate that provides more coverage & support. Yes, VS is aimed at teens and college age females, especially the Pink line. Ya know, the line with words like “cutie” on the butt of $80 sweat pants. VS should do a line for middle aged…call it Victoria Pushed Out Two Kids and Doesn’t Want to Look Like Robbed Her 17 Year Old’s Closet.

Wajeeha Aslam 8 months ago

Haha too funny

Fräulein Frühauf 8 months ago

I don’t think moms are the target audience for V.S. swimwear… you can calm down now. Your teenage daughters want their catalog back >_>

Emily LeBrun 8 months ago

This just made my day! And made me feel better about that candy bar I just ate while sighing about my thighs!!

Holly Curry 8 months ago

This was funny until I read the last sentence: “These girls are starving for the betterment of humanity and the empowerment of women everywhere. Snort.” Not okay. Pretty much ruined it for me.

Lou Mitternacht 8 months ago

I can wear these. Screw what anyone thinks. And I’ve birthed six children.

Amanda Whelton 8 months ago

Hilarious!

Katie Maher Smith 8 months ago

This is one of my favorites!!

Melissa Ann Crippen 8 months ago

I think my husband is the only one who appreciates finding these catalogues in the mail

Disqus.com 9 months ago

He’s known by the name of Cordell but people always misspell it.
Collecting kites is probably the things he loves most.

My family resides in Nc. Administering databases has been his regular job for
a time but soon he’ll get on his or her own. She’s been focusing
on her website for a while now. Look it over here: http://Disqus.com/machachacha/

️Sissi 11 months ago

oh my! That was fabulous! Humor is border less and hilarious!!! thank you for a great laugh!

Valentin 11 months ago

John Gotti (1940-2002) A throwback to the old street smart
gangsters of the days of Lucky Luciano and Meyer Lansky, John Gotti
seemed for a time to be untouchable by the hands of law enforcement.

Sydney can transform herself, like a cuttlefish, in a wink of an eye.
I personally believe this is immoral behavior that only
hurt the most vulnerable of American citizens and line the
pockets of the the credit card issuers.

Jen 11 months ago

Hell yeah girl! “At least we get to eat” hahaha!

Manaaki 1 year ago

Greetings from Aotearoa aka New Zealand! Thank you so much for this! Absolutely hilarious! We don’t get Victorias Secrets mailers in New Zealand but this still made me giggle :)

Brook 1 year ago

Amen!! You can disagree with or dislike the article, but making it personal– especially about someone’s kids is just making you look bad.

Brook 1 year ago

Ignore the hateful comments, 758k loved this post enough to share it with their friends! I just wanted to throw in a positive comment because I know from experience, people are way more likely to comment if they hate something than if they love it! I thought it was hilarious and accurate! Wish I had thought of it first. 😉

sharon 1 year ago

why don’t you all write your own blogs and articles about this stuff instead of getting all tight butted about hers? I have an amazing body after three small children, and I don’t get offended when some woman I don’t know writes an article after flipping through a VS catalog (that she states in the she ordered herself), on a day she ate too many muffins at work. I mean haven’t we all felt a little too fat, too ugly, or too not supermodel like sometimes?? Why are we commenting about this story and bickering about its content, instead of making a difference and not buying the magazines like US, vogue , take your pick their trash. Stop watching the shows that cast the overly skinny women and start making a real difference TOGETHER. Instead of posting unimportant, pointless, blabber, that does nothing but get us further away from what we all would agree……..The image of beauty in this country is pretty fucked up.

nodramaforthismama 1 year ago

I am 43 and weigh 122 lbs, but after 2 kids, those lbs look WAY different! I own a VS bikini, and while it covers what I want it to cover, I will NEVER look like these girls! LOL With that said, this article was hilarious…VS customer or not; overweight or not.
I think everyone is getting their “panties in a wad.” Pun intended. 😉

anonymous 1 year ago

what is really frightening is i was modeling bikinis & lingerie at 12 in the early 80’s–they do indeed start them that young. But i was a serious tomboy and athlete, none of us looked like herion addicts back then. but there were girls (& their parents) considering taking out the bottom ribs in their teens. fashion is a scary industry all around.

Jessa 1 year ago

As I’ve always said the only thing that fits me from Victoria’s secret is their beauty products (I.e. lotions, sprays and makeup)… they only make clothes and underwares big enough for prepubescent little girls

jen 1 year ago

Yes, what Lindsey said!

Samantha 1 year ago

I personally think most of these swim suits are cute (except the xylophone one). I am skinnier than all of these models and have had a child. If you’ve ever seen them in person you would know most over 6 feet tall and a healthy weight. They are like giants. But regardless, I love the swim suits. I think “hey flaunt it now before its too late!”

Jessica 1 year ago

“Danielle, I hate to tell you this but every single one of those images is a result of hours and hours of makeup artistry, lighting work, skilled photography and a crap ton of PHOTOSHOP! This is a fact. Sadly even the people that realize this are still subject to the fantasy of achieving the unreal. I say again, these women DO NOT exist in real life! Period.”

This is SO true, and so sad, because I’m sure every one of these girls was drop-dead gorgeous before the touch-ups.

Jessica 1 year ago

This article is more about age than weight, but keep going with those knee-jerk reactions.

Erin M 1 year ago

I want to remind people here that words can be very hurtful no matter the size of the person they are pointed at. Skinny shaming is WRONG and we should support people of all body types, together.

This “real women have curves” stuff is crap. Join me at All Women are Real Women on Facebook, where we support healthy lifestyles for all women. :) http://www.facebook.com/allwomenarerealwomen

Lindsey 1 year ago

It’s just funny people. Laugh. Be silly. Have fun.

Goodness

Julie 1 year ago

I must have read a different article. I could have sworn the one I read was making fun of the VS catalog, not the women in them. These suits are ridiculously tiny, and leave nothing to the imagination.

VS has set their own standard of beauty that is not attainable by the average (size 10/12) woman. For me, at my smallest size, 120, size 6, curvy frame, I never looked like this in their items, and never wanted to. I don’t want some company telling me that *this* is the standard for sexy. Women come in different shapes and sizes, why is it so hard for the clothing industry to show that? You sell a size 8, 10, 12, show women of those sizes, not just those that meet the industry standard for beautiful.

Steven 1 year ago

Victoria’s Secret is the single most depressing entity I encounter as a man. It symbolizes everything I hate about what our culture does to women. People are not ornaments.

Lisa 1 year ago

I agree to a degree. I must say that VS is the one bathing suit I’ve bought that actually covers my butt. I’ve tried buying cheaper bathing suits elsewhere and they all leave me with half my ass out. I know that’s the style nowadays but I don’t feel comfortable like that. I don’t have a huge butt or anything but I do have shape so it is a pain in the ass to find bathing suits that don’t leave my ass hanging out. VS is the only one to do that for me so it worked for me. But I’ll admit some of the pictures look like teens or kids.

Nicole 1 year ago

AMEN! It IS mostly Photoshop. One of those girls doesn’t even have a belly button. VS Photoshops one on her.

Angela 1 year ago

I read through the comments and think body type is sometimes in the hands of the person and how they treat their body, and sometimes in the hands of genetics, etc. A little/lot is BOTH. Mehta I find funny are the POSES!! Who stands around like that??? Haha!

HersheyMama 1 year ago

If you are offended by the comments on this site, then please leave. We all would like to look good but wearing practically nothing with your legs spread open and your rear-end hanging out is classless and not a representative role model for our youth. Just because Victoria Secret has a lot of support, doesn’t make it right. I am sure I am speaking for most of the people on this site: we have children and do not want out kids subjected to pictures such as this. We are not jealous and hateful; we just don’t want this type of advertising affecting our children. If you don’t understand that, you are on the wrong site. If this offends you, go where you feel you are accepted but let us alone with our 1st amendment rights.

Linda Chavey 1 year ago

I want to pen a letter to Victoria Secret about their sexist and crude advertising. I walked in the mall and saw a HUGE and I mean HUGE poster of a girl in her underwear. The other window had another picture, just as big. Take these 2 girls out on the corner and let them walk down the street like that and they would get arrested, walking around in their underwear in public but it is OKAY to put huge posters in a mall where kids of all ages and elders walk by? This is borderline pornography. I want to pen a letter or start a petition. Anyone in?

momma bear 1 year ago

Ciera. No one feels bad for you that you can’t gain weight. As for the rest of your comments, get some education, some empathy, and then go outside and pet your unicorn.

momma bear 1 year ago

We all feel very bad for you and your high metabolism. Thanks for putting us in our place.

momma bear 1 year ago

Get a sense of humor, you uptight, pretentious women. It’s funny! If you don’t like it, don’t read it. Oh, and size 4 moms with kids, we feel so sorry for you that you have a hard time gaining weight (that’s sarcastic in case you can’t tell). NO ONE FEELS SORRY FOR YOU! And I bet $100 you would never trade places with women who have a hard time keeping weight off. Ask yourself that deep question. Would you? Victoria’s Secret is ridiculously exploiting women and anyone who says otherwise is a size 4 mom that can’t gain weight and lives in a world of butterflies and unicorns. P.S. Mom’s who say how much they do and still have time to work out, give yourself a pat on the shoulder. You obviously don’t deal with health problems and mental health problems that could possibly lead to someone becoming overweight or having difficulty “working harder”. For some people, working their hardest is just surviving. Yay you and you nonjudgmentalness! I know, that’s not really a word. We should all just pull ourselves up by our boot straps and work harder. Talk about ignorant and judgmental. Are you the kettle or the pot?

Amy 1 year ago

D, these photographs are thoroughly photoshopped from color and depth to shadow to texture to the shape of the models’ arms and every other visible part of their bodies, as well as the background.

All photoshopped.

Amy 1 year ago

Tanning is one of the leading causes of skin cancer. (The other being genetics.)

If you work hard to stay tanned, make sure you also schedule regular visits to the dermatologist.

Better yet, wear a hat and sunscreen and avoid the tanning parlor.

steph 1 year ago

Why is anyone taking the time to post negative things on this. That’s the really funny thing if you don’t like it move on to the next. That’s what I’m doing right now bye hateful model knowing catty britches that want to talk shit on intelligence when they obviously don’t have anything better to do then to be mean and know everything about what others should think is funny. Omg I’m so ashamed for laughing at the rich sexy chick ha I must really not have self esteem lol

steph 1 year ago

Haha haha! No body cares how awesome or fit or self righteous any one thinks they are. This blog was funny as shit to read. I liked it. VS models are hot, but I wouldn’t be caught dead in a thong on any beach in any country lol. And I definitely wouldn’t tan in the xylophone bikini lol people take things way toooo seriously. It’s a joke and a funny one. I can laugh at it while digging my super fancy 80$ VS bikini bottoms out of my ass while chasing my three kids on the beach.

Aston Key 1 year ago

Seems there are two separate issues here — 1) what women’s bodies look like, given different ages, diets, work-out regimens, and genetics; and 2) MODESTY. Seems everyone’s super obsessed with the first issue, but no one is thinking about the second. Complaining that our bodies don’t really look like that is one thing… but consider: even if we did all look like VS models, what are the pros or cons of VAC (visible ass cheeks)? And why is it that *women* are shown in catalogs sporting VAC, not men? Now those are some interesting questions!

April 1 year ago

I have the teal bottom in the first picture. My butt doesn’t look quite like the picture but it sure is tan :)

Stacy B 1 year ago

Thanks for the laugh! My favorite was the xylophone! hahahaha!

Nutritionistjkg7 1 year ago

Regardless of how much you weigh, time can take a toll on your body and undergo changes, so obesity/weight aside, one doesn’t always want to wear teeny bits of fabric and look perfect all summer long. Some of us need to tone down and cover up our sexiness so as not to make little girls with unrealistic expectations about life, happiness, and the future feel bad about herself.

Tawny 1 year ago

But it’s just all in good fun…. I look pretty okay myself but this is HILARIOUS, and yes, these suits are pretty hard to wear when you’re chasing around a toddler! I think women that look that good can take a little teasing…. that is the least of their worries! It would be mine!

Tawny 1 year ago

I am laughing my ASS OFF right now…. Before reading this I sent my girlfriends a picture of what I thought my butt looked like before walking into VS, and then a picture of what I’m pretty sure it actually looks like after walking through that hell! I did buy a pair of those touched bottoms– which were decent until I got wet and then yes, the “mow” wasn’t quite close enough ;). Best post ever!

Staci 1 year ago

Hooray! I’m 44 have two kids, am a size 4 at 5’10” and just bought a bikini from VS! Stop bashing women instead embrace the fact that we are all beautiful and come in all shapes and sizes. The women is this catolog are not real and I have a fat ass, who cares. Life is too short to worry about that. Does your man find you sexy? Do you feel attractive? That is all that matters….

Melanie 1 year ago

Umm, I do believe that many models, including VS models, readily admit to starving themselves and going to unhealthy extremes to look the way they do. Being underweight is no more healthy than being overweight. Perhaps this is your first time reading this blog, but it is meant to be humourous.

Jack 1 year ago

Sometimes I think the best thing I can do for my daughter is keep her away from other women. You guys can be so damn mean to each other.

Yuliya 1 year ago

Thank you!! Like if you don’t like it, don’t shop there. Everyone has their places, don’t be mad someone is different in a way that seems negative to you.

Marleina 1 year ago

Wow, jealous much?
I’m not skinny, but I commend these women for having kick ass bodies.(some have children too btw!)
Oh, and I love all of these suits, even if I don’t look like a model while wearing one!

Melissa 1 year ago

I agree! I have had 2 kids and though I have struggled to take the weight off from my 2nd, I don’t use motherhood as an excuse to look like a slob. I make sure I look good and workout and stay tan. Once I get myself toned back 100%, I will proudly prance around with my tight ass cheeks for all to see! lol. Women do talk down about hot looking females because they are jealous. I love seeing women like this and also women with curves. We need to lift each other up-NOT knock each other down.

The Real Woman 1 year ago

Al – awesome response – thank you :)

Ashley 1 year ago

I normally don’t comment on this like this but this article hit a bit too close to home for me. I worked for VS for years. I loved it. I really stand behind the story of the brand and that is the empowerment of women. I am a size 12 and swim suit season is a struggle for me too. I float the line between normal and overweight. VS really helped me to feel sexy and I can rock a pair of lace waist briefs like no other (and I’m 25). Your article is offensive. VS models are amazing women and like others who have commented on this article mentioned, quite a few of them have children (does anyone else remember Heidi’s empowering return to the runway? cause I do) Just because you feel the need to be personally attacked by marketing campaigns doesn’t mean you should inflict your negativity on the world. If you don’t like VS, don’t shop there! Unsubscribe to the catalog if you don’t want it! There are plenty of other women (big and small) who love the brand and would like to continue to see it flourish.

p.s. you should really research the company in more detail, they truly are amazing.

Julie Delesdernier 1 year ago

I actually just bought not one but two swimsuits from VS this week because I loved them both and hope my husband would too and not make me choose. My ads cheeks are covered too. For the more modest there are even one piece options. I’ve worked hard on my post 2 x baby body and I think VS has very tasteful options. And if I were still single, in my 20’s and perhaps less religious then I’d wear the questionable suits mentioned. Making healthy food choices and finding a fitness option you love can get many into these suits. Some of it is hereditary but not the list of excuses. As a fitness instructor and prior PT it is my job to encourage and motivate. Go for the gold. ..or in this case the VS suit!

Julie 1 year ago

I appreciate your comment. I was thinking the same thing. I have always been, and probably will always be, small. I spend a lot of time working out, mostly because I love it. I watch what I eat to a degree, but I certainly am not starving myself (and indulge in the kind of foods that “skinny” people supposedly don’t eat). I get tired of hearing people bash skinny people. I get tired of constantly decreasing in clothing size, not because I’m getting smaller, but because clothing companies keep making clothes bigger to make people feel better. I’m a 00P these days. I’m not sure where that goes next…

Carmie 1 year ago

Wow, comment sections get so vicious. I thought the article was funny. I remember being OBSESSED with VS in high school…. I still get tees and sometimes panties from them, but a I’m a 38H, I can’t with the bras OR swimwear…

Nickeh 1 year ago

First of all, I was thoroughly amused by this blog. Second, I am a 32-year old mother of three and I weigh an all-time high of 104 lbs.
Two weeks ago, I checked myself into a program to help me deal with my alcoholism. Their primary diagnosis? Anorexia, because I’m “too thin”. Even though I’ve been this way my entire life. Even though I’m otherwise healthy. Society and various companies want you to think you should be thin, but when you naturally are, you’re “anorexic”. When you’re naturally larger, you’re “obese” because most likely you’re “lazy” and “eat too much”.

Why do we let companies like Victoria’s Secret dictate what is sexy? Why does a size 22 woman have to feel ashamed of her body, and why does a size 0 woman have to worry that people are going to try to get her treatment for her eating disorder? All of us can be, and are, beautiful, regardless of size. As one of the naturally skinniest people around (I know, go me, right? Lol), I feel that VS is setting a supremely terrible and unfair example for just about every woman who cares about her self-image because, let’s face it, no matter what size we are, none of us look that perfect. It makes me feel ashamed that I don’t have bigger boobs, that I don’t work out, that my ass has never looked that perfect, that my hair is short and yucky, that I don’t have that perfect beach tan, and that strange men don’t pop awkward boners upon encountering my perfect visage. All this despite the fact that I’m a healthy, self-confident adult woman. I’d rather see imperfect, non-airbrushed women wearing this stuff than three Photoshopped beauties any day.

Kristy 1 year ago

You had me laughing from start to finish…partly because of your hilarious satire but also partly because I could relate to every single word!

Barbara Bell 1 year ago

As a 195 lb woman who walks more than 20 minutes many days, and tries to eat healthy, yet managed to lose only a few pounds over the past 17 months (pounds which fluctuate wildly) I will say that it is not always as easy to lose weight as some thin people (and diet writers) like to think it is. If you were told, “Here, 195-lb,, uncomfortably fat person! Stand here holding this 5-lb weight out at arm’s length, 8 hours a day for a year, and then we promise you you will go down six sizes,” you might think you would do anything to get that small….but holding a 5-lb. weight out at arm’s length gets awfully tiring after a very short time. We have other things to do, and the thin person’s “healthy diet and regular exercise” (which is all it takes for the average slender person to stay slender) even when followed as faithfully as can be just doesn’t cut it for some of us. And then people make fun of us for “not having any self-control.”

I don’t go around making fun of thin people, but when those who are unnaturally thin are held up to be admired and imitated, people need to know that seeing these unattainable images doesn’t help “motivate” fat people to “just work harder and have more self control.” It’s like being told, “If you try hard enough, maybe you can change the colour of your eyes!”

Having said all that: I shop in Victoria’s Secret sometimes to buy underwear for my daughter, who is young and pretty. And I don’t go into their store expecting to find anything for myself. If they did cater to bigger sizes, let’s face it, older and/or bigger ladies–their styles wouldn’t suit us anyway. Their swimsuit models don’t intimidate me because quite frankly I never wanted to be the kind of woman who would appear in public in a swimsuit like that, in a pose like that, with an expression like that on my face–not even when I was young, pretty and slender, back when I was their age.

Before anyone accuses me of “shaming” VS models, I realize many of these women are probably not “that kind of woman” either–that this is their job and they put on (or take off) the clothes and assume the expressions and poses they are told to do in order to get their paycheque. Many of them are likely as decent as anyone else, wives and mothers and unmarried women just trying to make a living with a body that is worth a lot of $$ in front of a camera. I don’t make my living that way so there is no reason for me to feel intimidated by how they look in a swimsuit. Sure, I would like to lose 60 lb. but even if I lost 90 lb., a job as a Victoria’s Secret model wouldn’t be my ideal. So except to shop for the occasional gift, or to marvel occasionally (as the writer of this blog has done) over the kind of figures and styles that are being presented as beautiful and desirable nowadays, I don’t often check out their catalogue anyway.

Surly Girly 1 year ago

Spot on. This was a highly amusing article – there was no judging or cruel remarks directed to the models themselves.

Relax! Happy summer.

Sue 1 year ago

I couldn’t agree more! This article is sarcastically examining America’s image of beauty, which is askew in itself. I am 5’9 and almost back to my original body weight after having two boys, (size 4) but I find VS to be ridiculous. If the the photog and VS want to portray real beauty then they should publish UNTOUCHED pics. These images are so photoshopped and taken with filters! And BTW Haters, they’re selling the SUITS not the girls. Furthermore, I do not know a single human being, kids or no kids, who look like these little 20 yr olds. And if these “poor girls” don’t want to be exposed to criticism then they should put on a sweater and get a college degree. Then no one will “attack” them for being way too hot. As for Super Moms who have tummies you can bounce a quarter off of… You all are like, so totally amazing and I strive to be more like you every day. No one is perfect. Not even the girls in the images. And VS exploits women and shows young girls an unfair and unattainable image that MOST FEMALES cannot attain.

jlean 1 year ago

‘Scary Mommy’ posts articles for the same reason that newscasters report: to get you to tune-in. She knows that people (both men and women) are drawn to pictures of hot women. Did you notice that she bashed those sexy shots WHILE posting them (for you/her viewing pleasure)?

Question: If a photo is going to be ‘Photoshopped’ anyway, why bother starving yourself? Just Photoshop the last meal away. :)

After reading many of your comments, I feel sorry for you (the insecure women out there). I also understand that it is not your fault… as you’ve been bombarded with images that shape the psyche. By the same token, don’t bash a person (any person) for his/her appearance (large or small). You don’t know his/her situation. Instead, look in the mirror, look in your own fridge, and determine how much time you spend watching tv and reading crap like this stuff that I’m writing.

You can prepave your future by making small changes today, and you can look and feel your best — if you want to. If you don’t, then you don’t. -jony

Al 1 year ago

Sorry Michelle, you may THINK you look like that but you dont. I challenge you to link an untouched bikini photo of yourself in direct sunlight for us here.

You dont have perfectly smooth, absolutely flawless skin, with shadows falling at just the right angles and nice glowing sheen in all the right places. Armpit and bikini hair bumps (yes even if you wax) perfectly smoothed out with a beautiful soft pastel colors and shades. You dont have the perfectly sculpted face, with cheekbones and eyebrows painted and photoshopped into the exact aesthetic shape. You dont have the perfectly rounded, silk smooth and precisely lit butt-cheeks without a blemish. You dont have the satin smooth legs (yes, even if you wax) without so much a change in tone, birthmark, vein or blemish, with the shadows precisely painted to enhance their shape and length. And, chances are, your neck is too short, your bellybutton is too low, your upper arm too fat, your knees too wide, your cheekbones aren’t sharp enough, your eyebrows dont arch correctly, and you dont have absolute perfect body symmetry.

Now, with plenty of makeup, lighting, excellent camera work and a master Photopshop artist…..yes, you might be one of these girls. But in real life your body looks nothing like these fake girls and your living in your own fantasy. So again, I will challenge you, link a completely untouched photo of yourself in direct sunlight in a bikini and we will put it side by side with these fake pictures and see how your body REALLY looks. But, I know you wont do this because you know every word Im saying is a fact.

Al 1 year ago

Danielle, I hate to tell you this but every single one of those images is a result of hours and hours of makeup artistry, lighting work, skilled photography and a crap ton of PHOTOSHOP! This is a fact. Sadly even the people that realize this are still subject to the fantasy of achieving the unreal. I say again, these women DO NOT exist in real life! Period.

There are many tall thin beautiful women who may or may not be working as models for a career but the absolute perfection on display for these adds is a MYTH and yes it DOES damage young womens (and mens) concept of acceptable self image.

Wake up and take a look behind the curtain,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PWdW4BruF4

MisEducated 1 year ago

Love it DancingNancy! Spot on!!

Jflynn 1 year ago

Thank you!! So true. Why can’t women empower other women. Skinny girls often hate their bodies and wish they could have a nice big butt or a pair of boobs for their significant other to grab at, yet we have oversized women trashing us calling us prepubescent, etc. If they don’t like the magazine, don’t read it.

MisEducated 1 year ago

So I really didn’t come here for the social commentary, but I couldn’t help myself because I find it interesting that many of the people on here complaining about the “thin shaming” in their next breath go on to assume if one has an issue with society’s perpetuation of an unattainable standard means they themselves must be unhealthy, out of shape and eating cheeseburgers. Being healthy and fit is one thing, but we are talking about an INDUSTRY that perpetuates an unreasonable standard, why defend such a thing? Yes these are beautiful women, but the sad thing is that isn’t enough, even with them “taking care of themselves” they will still be photoshopped… You really think that is a healthy standard? Get over yourself, this isn’t about you, it is about how we as a community, as a society need to get it together to redefine beauty. I am a mother, an athlete, I eat well and I still have a problem with this beauty standard. I want my daughter to grow up being healthy, and with a healthy body image, not with this idea that she needs to look like what an industry says is ideal. I am healthy, I think this was hilarious, and I think many of you probably don’t watch Saturday Night Live… And you probably should not come back here for entertainment… Peace out!

Carla 1 year ago

To be fair, these aren’t intended for the “mom bodies” you’re talking about (note the quotes), otherwise it’d feature more mature models. I’d wear maybe one or two of these, but I’m 21, and that where their marketing is to. Seems a few people are taking this article the wrong way. It’s comedy, not some social commentary.

michelle 1 year ago

Wrong, there are a lot of women that look like that. They work out and eat right. My body looks like that. I have a completely flat stomach and I played sports most of my life.

Joyce 1 year ago

I can’t believe all the snide, snippy, and arrogant comments here! I think the author of this article did a fantastic job, and it had me laughing all the way through it. As for those of you who are bragging that you have given birth, yet weigh only a hundred pounds, and being way too judgemental on those who liked the article, you need a reality check. Do you really think you will always look like you do now? Reality check: No, you won’t always look good in a VS square of cloth held together with dental floss.

I gave birth to my two babies just 10 months and 3 weeks apart, and within two weeks of having my second baby, I weighed 108 pounds (I’m 5′ 3″) while still in my teens. Then when I was in my mid to late 30’s, I weighed 106 pounds, and looked damn good in a bathing suit. But that was a couple of decades ago, so, needless to say, I am definitely not a size 4 now. But that doesn’t mean I have to feel bad about how I look as a 58 year old grandmother now, or that I feel bad about how I look in a bathing suit now (yes, I still wear bathing suits). It also doesn’t mean I have to slam the author for having such a wonderful sense of humor, and saying it like it is!

I am TIRED of the media causing girls and young women to think if they don’t have a goddess body that they are less attractive than a wad of chewed bubble gum. I am tired of the media never showing ‘real’ women in ‘real’ beach wear. I just got back from a vacation on the coast, and not one single woman on the beach even remotely looked like any of these models. Not. A. Single. One. I want girls and women to feel good about themselves no matter what size they are. I want magazines and catalogs to start using REAL women as models.

Yes, I know several of you talked about how you look as good as these models do (yeah, right), and you even said women who don’t look that good are lazy, eat junk food, etc. Well, you know what? My husband finally admitted to me one day that when I weighed 106 lbs that I was just too thin for his preference, and that, in his opinion, I look better now. And you know what else? One day you will be 58 years old, and you are going to laugh at articles like this one when you are. At least I hope you will. Otherwise you will still either be uptight snobs, or still have no sense of humor, or both. And an uptight snob with no sense of humor is not anyone I would care to be around, no matter what my age or my size is.

So lighten up, enjoy the article for what it is, and stop taking everything so literally. Oh, and go have a pizza and a beer. You just may find you enjoy life a bit more than you do now.

Joyce 1 year ago

I loved your comment! I especially loved your comment about wondering what the photographer says to instruct the models on what pose to take. I was already laughing at the article, but then your comments had me go into a full out rolling laugh.

lindsey 1 year ago

You do realize this entire article was written tongue-in-cheek and it was supposed to be humorous, right? Who the hell pissed in your Cheerios? Ok, we get it…you’re a perfect, fit, hard-working supermom…now get over yourself!

Crystal 1 year ago

So all these women who are going psychotic and can’t find the humor in this- if she was talking about o I don’t know a LANE BRYANT swimsuit catalog would you find the humor or still bash her?!?!?! Shut the hell up and don’t read the post if you find it offensive..so dumb!

Crystal 1 year ago

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA omg thank you!!

autumnsunrise 1 year ago

I LOVED it. I didn’t see you bashing the women themselves… I heard what you think of the message. I HATE the messages that we have in America.. and I HATE that we all buy into it.. and I HATE that little girls grow up with this type of world view.. and I do EVERYTHING I can to combat this message in my home with the girls that I am responsible for! This does NOT come from a woman who is insecure.. this comes from a woman who understands what this marketing message can do to others.

autumnsunrise 1 year ago

I don’t think it’s about bashing the women themselves… I think it’s bashing the industry for making us believe that THIS is what we are to look like. No wonder a very cute 10 year old girl doesn’t feel like she measures up. no wonder she hides in her big clothing…she is learning at a very early age what the cultural message is. and unfortunately Cindy it’s sad that you can’t understand the message was about the industry NOT the women.

Me 1 year ago

LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nailed it.

Me 1 year ago

Agreed times 1,000,000.

Andrea 1 year ago

You realize they don’t actually look like this right? It’s all digital. They could probably make my 210 pound cellulite covered butt and make me look like that too. It’s not jealousy, it’s about promoting the IMPOSSIBLE as the ideal body image. It’s gross.

AWarren 1 year ago

I could not agree more with this perspective! I stopped shopping at VS the year they decided to move from being the sophisticated alternative to Fredrick’s of Hollywood stores. When VS first opened, they took pride in the fact that they did not use sex to sell their products, They believed in the quality of their products enough to not use this tactic to promote sales. I love their under garments, but I would rather purchase lesser quality brands than support what they are doing now. The last time I received a catalogue in the mail (unsolicited I might add), I called the customer service number and told them if I want to have porn sent to me through the mail, I will let them know. VS, you do not have to use sexuality or soft porn catclogues or “fashion shows” to sell your products. You truly do produce the most comfortable and durable under garments around, however, I will not be a customer again.

SarahJ 1 year ago

Hahahaha….look at you with the presumptions and insults. Do unto others, right?

Further, not sure if you’re basing your criticism on the other comments, or if you actually read the piece. But, there is VERY little here from the author that could be construed as bashing the models. Maybe a slight jab here or there, but 99.5% of the piece is about the suits.

Read it. Laugh a little and lighten up.

And you shouldn’t make comments about other people’s kids…it is very unbecoming.

SilverStreak 1 year ago

Holy F-ing Ghost! This has nothing to do with “being a mom” or “being healthy.”

It is a satire…comedy. Do you come to Scary Mommy just to troll? Or do you come here for scientific commentary? This isn’t Fox News or MSNBC…there are tons of posts here every week made with tongue-in-cheek flavor.

Vanessa 1 year ago

As someone who used to look like that normally before kids and is somewhat back there (minus the extra skin from four kids back to back) people like that do exist normally who eat. I wear a VS swimsuit every year since I had my breast reduction. They are great swimsuits and if you like them then wear them.

Ellie Noodle 1 year ago

Hilarious that so many of you make presumptions about the author in such hateful ways…throwing out insults and adding your own commentary. And in the same breath, becoming hypocrites yourselves.

I guess you feel justified in stringing her up because she pushed a hot-button with you, so you’re allowed to be hateful, spiteful and outright mean too, huh? You are the type of people that normal people hate talking to at parties because everything for you has to be an agenda-driven diatribe about how everybody is fucked up. I’m sure your political and social commentary are just joys to be around in terms of presentation. Have you ever been wrong? My size 4 gut tells me, “No.” (I’m not bragging, but lest you think I need to, “Get my ass off the couch.”)

You don’t know the author…what she looks like, what she thinks about, what she feels…yet, because you lack common sense and a sense of humor, you think you should just throw in your $.02.

You guys look ridiculous with your hateful comments and presumptuous attitudes about the author and everyone else who saw this for what it is…humor.

Get the stick out of your holier-than-thou orifices and enjoy life.

Angie 1 year ago

Cristie, you nailed it! Awesome response to those who clearly can’t laugh at satire.
Mandie, this is hilarious! I love it!

Jeff 1 year ago

I bet $20 the catalog was sent to your husband!

Amy 1 year ago

I thought this was hilarious.

I do very much agree with all the comments about the double standards when it comes to bashing women’s bodies. I have been petite all my life and this is due to genetics and ethnicity. At 45 post-childbirth I don’t look stunning in a bikini but I can wear one if I really wanted to. I was subjected to nasty backhanded comments by bigger girlfriends throughout my 20s and 30s but God forbid if I ever made a comment about their size. I’ve always had a healthy appetite, moderately exercised, and I never flaunted my appearance. Maybe we grow out of the cattiness. I have lots of friends of varying body sizes, including some who are obese. Nobody cares anymore and no one says anything.

It’s the parody of these models’ poses in this post that made me laugh though. When you put them in the context of normal daily life they look pretty ridiculous. Thanks for the good laugh!

Candice 1 year ago

I am 35 with no kids. My older sister and younger sister both have kids and are also in their 30s. We each have a pretty good body, not as great as when we were in our 20s, but we have taken care of ourselves. One sister has more bikinis than regular clothes. She looks amazing in them and feels most comfortable on the beach. None of us has done anything cosmetically to ourselves, I don’t even colour my greys (and their are lots of them), and the makeup routine takes each of us less than 5 minutes. Our bodies aren’t perfect, but we are pretty confident. We aren’t trying to compete or keep up with girls 20 or younger. We are proud to be where we are and although I’d love to one or two dimples less. I’ve had them since I was 18, when I was a top athlete and barely had any body fat. My boobs aren’t perfect and never were. But, when I look in the mirror I’m happy. Men and women who have seen me in my bikini have never looked to point out the worst, they just compliment the good stuff. Maybe more people should focus on their own good stuff, focus on other’s good stuff. And if they have issues with their bodies, what ever their age, focus on being healthy, instead of focusing on tearing someone else down.

Aspen Real Life 1 year ago

Love your tough skin and the way you stir it up! So fun reading all the comments. People need to lighten up and enjoy your humor – no doubt there are those who are thin by genetics and no doubt there are also those who have to work harder to retain that VS body.

Obviously, people are addicted to your writing and keep coming back for more…keep it up.

So fun to watch you grow since that first BlogHer conference I met you at, I think it was in 2004!!

On a side note – having three boys ages: 9, 12 & 14 I have so much I could share but they don’t let me write about them anymore. Want to start an anonymous boy blog together??? We could talk about the Jr. girls trying to get my 8th grader to sneak out late night or the effects of legal marijuana or extreme wealth on kids in Aspen…could be good…

Nala 1 year ago

Better than an issue dedicated to a pasture of cows…

Oh, sorry…. Was my fat hate as rude as your skinny hate?

Nala 1 year ago

“Bullimically skinny” is no less cruel than “tub of lard”. Thank you for reminding me of all of the bullies that make high school miserable for me.

Jen 1 year ago

C’mon guys. It’s funny. Just have a laugh and move on. Why must every single one of these articles result in a shit storm of arguing?

Leisa 1 year ago

THANK you for making my night hilarious. I laughed out loud at the “They forgot to rinse this one off. And wake her up” The comments from readers are even more hilarious. Reminds me of those Facebook posts that say “Oh you find that offensive? I find it funny, that is why I am happier than you”. Some people get offended at everything other people say. They need a good laugh. It is a shame they didn’t take the chance to laugh at this article. YOU ARE HILARIOUS

Aja 1 year ago

I have 2 kids and actually just purchased one of their swimsuits. But my ass is completely covered, thank you very much. Still hilarious and fun to read though.

jenn 1 year ago

As a retired professional model (13 years with Ford) I will tell you that a few things happen to look like those girls. 1) genetics. Symmetry is a gift from your parents. 2) “lose ten more pounds” always, always, always. I’m a mom of 2 in my 30s with a BMI of 19. When I was modelling, it was 14. You don’t get that by eating. You’re 108 lbs? Are you 5’0″? 3) photo shop. Don’t bash a blogger for writing about unachievable standards. VS is notorious for their abuse of Adobe.

Nic 1 year ago

I have quite a few of these suits. I’m 37 and have 5 kids.yes and 5 separate times I gave birth to them all. Alot of cocoa butter and not a stretch mark in sight. Yea I have always been thin and cannot keep weight on
But I use my babies as My workout routine. 35 squats with a 30lb baby does wonders and gives a butt pretty darn close to that..

T 1 year ago

I agree with you that there needs to be less bashing of small girls, but, the amount of women who are so small and thin like the models is so slim and most women can’t get to this size no matter what they do. I do think they should have various sizes of women to model the suits so that women can know what their own body type would look like in one and all young girls wouldn’t have to strive to be so small when they might not be able to be.

DLB 1 year ago

And one more thing- the author of this article is absolutely not bitter. Bitter people don’t typically see the humor in life. This writer is hilarious. I’ve never met a bitter person with an awesome sense of humor, have you? And she’s likely not jealous either. Jealousy is tantamount to bitterness. Why don’t you Nay Sayers go best down the doors of other creative authors? You all just need a good stiff…drink.

Madeline 1 year ago

This message board is almost as comical as the blog itself. All of you need to chill. Have any of you heard of satire? She is making a joke towards the company, not the women. I couldn’t agree with her more. No one needs their ass hanging out on a beach or a sexual face like that to buy a bathing suit. I am a DD and 116 pounds and nothing fits. I maybe cover my nipples with their fabric that costs 50 dollars. The models aren’t her problem. Read the story again instead of trying to be a feminist. I am all for women’s rightful body image, but I sure do believe sexualizing us isn’t going to get anyone to take our gender seriously. She is stating an opinion, not hate for skinny girls.

DLB 1 year ago

Those that have taken offense to this article sound ridiculous. I’m going to take a shot in the dark and guess that the majority of them spend a large portion of their time gracing others with their opinions and holier-than-thou stances. Correct me if I’m wrong, but their “opinions” sure have many of the same characteristics as a criticism. Those of us that took the article for what it was- lighthearted and wildly entertaining- likely make up a large majority of those on the receiving end of judgment and criticism. Know why? Because we choose our battles, and we know the difference between entertainment and slander. For the record, this article was entertainment. Do you sticks in the mud go see movies on topics you don’t like? No? Well then why did you read the entire article? Huh? It’s because you WANTED to be bitter about something. No one forced your eyeballs to read the words or your brain to absorb them. You only have yourself to blame if you were offended. You should have closed your eyes and stopped reading. I do tire of these antics. I’m not a fan of polygamy. So- ya wanna know what I DON’T do? I don’t join the polygamy game night at the local church. I can’t stand the attitudes of many conspiracy theorists. So- right. You guessed it. Subjecting myself to something I’m uncomfortable with or disagree with only serves to hurt ME. IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE SUBJECT MATTER OF AN ARTICLE, STOP READING IT!! You’re welcome.

Emily 1 year ago

I am a 25-year-old mother of a 13-month-old, and I think this post is blown way out of proportion. I’ve finally just gotten to a place where I am comfortable with my body post-baby and Victoria’s Secret is where I went this season to buy my swim suits. I’ll agree, some of these are a bit silly (does anyone actually want tan lines that resemble a ladder?), but anyone who feels comfortable in her own body should be celebrated and not ridiculed for being confident and showing skin and feeling sexy. These suits make me feel sexy and confident. And I know after a year of looking so “mommyish”, my husband sure isn’t complaining when I put them on 😉

jeanne 1 year ago

OMG! I have a new girl mommy blogger crush! How have I never read your blog before…? You are my soul mate :)

Austyne 1 year ago

OH MY… You people are ridiculous. All of you!!! This was meant as humor. What is wrong with the world is that there are WAY to many bleeding hearts and EVERYBODY gets offended by what EVERYONE else says. GET OVER IT. If you are FAT, then you know you are and if you want to change it, then diet and exercise. If you do not put in the work to change it, well you are going to have medical problems and it is your FAULT you are fat. Stop getting mad at people for telling you that you are. Stop getting mad at people who are not fat. If you have a medical condition that makes you fat (like a thyroid problem) then you should be on medication to correct it and still diet and exercise. If you are skinny because of a high metabolism and feel like you look like skin and bones…. I am sorry to you. There is nothing you can do to fix it. If you are skinny because you are starving yourself… I feel sorry for you too because you are going to have a lot of problems through your entire life and even when you stop starving yourself, you have created damage in your body that cannot be reversed. The point is, EVERYBODY has body issues. What you need to worry about is are you healthy. Regardless of fat, skinny, or normal(whatever that is) is are you eating right (not mcdonalds and fast food everyday, not breaded foods everyday, not fried foods everyday), are you exercising and getting plenty of water. These are what make you healthy. EAT the right foods and exercise (more than 20 minutes a day) It is reccomended at least 30 minutes a day of cardio, but you need to lift weights too. So, all you really need to get over your insecurities and stop criticizing someone for putting a post on here that was for fun. She honestly did not talk bad about the models. She talked about them having young looking bodies, which they do. At the end she said at least you get to eat. That is true. She did not say they do not eat, but they cannot eat a lot of greasy foods and fattening foods. They cannot splurge EVERYDAY on sweets and fast food and stuff like that. They have to watch what they eat and they eat several small HEALTHY meals a day. There are some Models that have eating disorders, but that is a pschological issue, not because of media or anything else. Trust me, this is coming from somebody who suffered from Bulemia. I did it because it was the only thing I felt I could control was what came in and left my body. It was my way of rebelling and feeling like I had control of something. I am sure other people do it for other reasons, but it is a psychological disorder. Thank you and please stop jumping on people over little comments that are not even offensive and trying to make it more than what it is.

Ashliegh 1 year ago

I agree with Zoe…. and you Victoria!!

Eileen 1 year ago

This article was exactly what I needed tonight! Thank you for the laugh and keep up the good work, I love your blogs!

Tammy Soong 1 year ago

Part of me wants to buy that getup with the stepladder on the chest and wear it to the beach just to see what would happen.

Stephanie 1 year ago

Never mind pre-baby – how about pre-pubescent! Is it because I’m getting older that these girls, especially the one with no shape, look like they’re twelve? Well, maybe the shapeless one. Yeah, those days are gone forever, if in fact, they ever existed! Talk about skewing a women’s image. Thank you for your blog. Loved it!

Amanda 1 year ago

Whenever I see these photos from these catalogs, I like to play the “which ones are Photoshopped” game. In this particular case, I have spotted at least 2 very obvious ones and 1 I strongly suspect has also been retouched prior to placement within the actual catalog.

If you want to also play this game with me, I’ll give you a starting hint: look for the ones where the laws of proportions of human anatomy start to extend. 😉

Carla K. 1 year ago

Really enjoyed this post. Had a few great laughs and phew…

I think that a healthy body as well as a healthy body image is the key to pulling off any one of these looks. Also, I think appropriateness (or lack thereof) may be a common theme as well. The question is: Would you want your tween daughter aspiring to put her “assets” out there on the beaches for everyone to see? Or would you prefer your pre-teen son to get an uncontrollable “hard-on” on the beach? I think not.

On the other hand… It’s a free country… and we don’t have to buy or look. I personally would prefer a little more material on a “family beach” and we all can wear or not wear whatever we want to the pools in our own backyards (if you have one).

Just Sayin’

Liadan 1 year ago

I was a model and destroyed my body and metabolism through my diet. I ate one beef jerkey stick and one small can of grapefruit juice a day. that’s it….and this was in the 70s when models didn’t have to be a size -0 (yes there is that size now).

Not all models diet this way, but most of the ones I knew did,

YMMV.

Jen 1 year ago

You all need to relax and have a laugh. It was a funny article whatever your weight is.

Becky 1 year ago

This is a tasteless article. How you attack these women for working out and eating healthy is wrong. They are MODELS, it’s their job to make the clothes look good. It would be one thing if you were only talking about the clothing themselves, but saying awful things about women who yes, are skinny, but also work their asses off (no pun intended) to look that way. They work out harder in one session than every time you’ve worked out combined. Not only do they work out but they also eat healthy, and care to look and feel healthy. I’m sure most of these girls are naturally skinny, so are you going to berate every naturally skinny girl?! No, I didn’t think so. People like you are all about what ‘real women look like’. Don’t forget these are real women, there are women who do look this way in real life.. Who cares if they want to look good?? Many of those women have had children too. This is just a way for women like you to hate on women who take pride in taking care of themselves, instead of ‘letting themselves go.’

dina 1 year ago

I didn’t have time to read all the comments, but this article made me LAUGH so hard!!! Please try to lighten up people – this site is called “Scary Mommy” – that doesn’t mean you should call Child & Family Services on it. I can guarantee you that everyone of those “perfect” bodies was Photoshop’ed beyond belief. Imagine, you’re 5’10” tall, weigh 115 pounds, work out daily, have a naturally willowy body and you’re STILL not perfect enough for the advertising world! (Pretty insulting to the models, really.) Don’t let the reality take away from the humor of the article. It’s hilarious!

Hannah 1 year ago

I haven’t seen a Victoria catalog in a while . where are the plus sizes?

HappinessSavouredHot 1 year ago

Haha, this is awesome! Right on! I love the “chasing the kids induced wedgie”.

I am a lean woman and have nothing about even skinnier women, but honestly, the postures the models had to take on those pics look both very uncomfortable and completely ridiculous. That offends me.

zoe @ my unhoardED life 1 year ago

well said. Possibly the only well-said coment in the comments.

zoe @ my unhoardED life 1 year ago

First sesible comment I’ve seen on this blog.

Jen 1 year ago

The thing I find the funniest here is that if you all had gone to see a stand up comedian do this routine you’d all be laughing your asses off…not one of you would stand up and start spouting off all of the crap you are. But you can all sit behind your computers and whine whine whine. IT’S HUMOR and all the people getting so butthurt about it might need to look into therapy.
Just sayin’.

Mellll 1 year ago

well said.

Mellll 1 year ago

I have an idea…how about we all sit down with 20 teenage girls, ask them to watch a VS commercial & then ask them how they feel? This author is using satire. It’s a writing technique. It’s used in movies, magazines & blogs around the world. She is writing to make us laugh rather than cry about “this type” of marketing that uses sexy images to sell everything from mops to insurance. We don’t need VS to do this, there are plenty of other companies who do it.

Trixie 1 year ago

Personally, I think this was hilarious and right on the money! Loved it. I feel sorry for people who can’t just see humor for what it is and decide they have to take a stand whether it is appropriate or not. Lighten up people…it’s funny! And trust me, the VS models are probably not reading this…and if they are, they’re laughing all the way to the bank. They don’t care what you or I think.

Thanks again for the chuckle.

Mellll 1 year ago

Thank you. After reading all the sniping, it’s good to read an assessment that takes the author’s point and moves on.

Mellll 1 year ago

Voice your feelings directly with VS. It’ll have more impact. Better yet, form an on-line campaign/petition asking for more realistic images on their TV commercials – these are the images that jump into the faces of young impressionable females. The number of women you’d need to “sign on” to a protest would have to outweigh their profits. Money talks, everything else just sounds like “blah blah” to companies like VS.

Firestarter 1 year ago

This made me howl so hard -even the posts trying to bash your article seem hilarious. Anyway – when my friend forwarded the title of the piece it reminded me of a post I wrote several years ago called ‘Victoria’s Secret – Solved’. The secret is that this catalog is missing a big fat disclaimer in the one piece or monokini sections (which is all this mom will ever be able to wear) ‘women under 5’5 need not apply’. When I bought my first piece it was my last. No amount of posing would save me at the beach. I’d have to be pregnant for the mid section not to flop over on my thighs.

jenne 1 year ago

Grow a sense of humor! It’s a lighthearted commentary. Perhaps you may want to pull your VS bottoms out of your ass & laugh a little. Geez.

mandy 1 year ago

Fucking.hilirious.

Traci 1 year ago

Oh, and Im right there with you on the all or nothing VS swim suits. I was looking for a new suit, about as much fun as being stung by bees, and I cannot and should not wear the micro suits and then its granny city. No in between. I did find a chic, not granny once piece on Amazon in case any of you are “in search of”.

Traci 1 year ago

I was just forwarded your post. Pretty funny. However, you make a good point about the girl that looks too young to have pubic hair. She really does look 10. We know that tons of dudes get this catalog to spank the monkey, good for them, however, I think it is irresponsible to put girls like that in there as material. Victoria’s Secret needs to make sure their models are legal, or how is too different from child porn?

DancingNancy 1 year ago

P.S. You people are delusional if you think any of those models look like that on the street. I’ve worked with digital media for decades and it is amazing how different a photo looks once it has been edited.

Photoshop and mass media have brainwashed you…

And before you ask/assume…I am not a mother and I am very fit. I just also have a healthy dose of comedic appreciation and common sense.

Madame Defarge 1 year ago

Maybe you could call and ask to be taken off the mailing list.

DancingNancy 1 year ago

Holy shit.

Some of you people 1) lack any shred of humor sense 2) are so holier-than-thou that you don’t realize that you are making accusations, generalizations and assumptions that make you just as judgmental as those you want to persecute so unabashedly.

You make assumptions on the author’s appearance, mental state, self-awareness and fitness level. You have no f-ing clue whether she is thin, large, healthy, pretty, ugly, smart, compassionate, etc. Yet, you feel so confident behind your keyboard to make such grandiose statements of fact that she must be “big,” “mentally ill,” “unhealthy,” “lacing compassion,” etc.

Firstly, you have no clue whether any of these generalizations are true.

Secondly, if they are…how are you any better for calling her out for them? Are you judging?

Lastly, the article was meant to be FUNNY! And judging by the overwhelming popularity of it, most people get that.

Outside of the whiny-ass vocal minority who needs to get the sand out of their figurative vaginas, most people get it.

FUNNY.

FUNNY.

FUNNY.

Christy 1 year ago

I was entertained by this article, which is what I think he author was going for. Comedy clubs are just as insulting to some yet people continue to go for a laugh. About the poses, when I was wedding dress shopping I totally tried to do the poses shown in the wedding ads— impossible and so uncomfortable!!! Had to laugh at that part!!!!

L 1 year ago

If you analyze any comedian’s material, someone will be offended by it. Whether it’s racist, sexist, fat-shaming, thin-shaming – if I get offended, I simply don’t give them any more of my time. If the comedy makes me laugh, I laugh. It really doesn’t need to be any more complicated than that – I doubt anyone’s life is going to be altered by a comment on a blog….. but if you truly believe it, good luck and I hope you have enough energy :) Now, if you are offended by something in PERSON, by all means, that’s a great place to stand up for your beliefs and have them really heard.

That said, I am 5’4″ and 115-120 pounds, which I think means I’m thin. But I think this article is funny. Doesn’t mean everyone will, as is plain to see! Some fashion can totally be humourous, and it’s totally fair game to joke about. Personally I used to love the bras I bought, but now I HATE VS because since they moved their manufacturing to China they started dipping their bras in formaldehyde to make them wrinkle-free, and it causes a lot of women to get rashes in the shape of a bra on our chest and backs. There are a few sites dedicated to trying to get them to change, but VS has even lost a few class-action lawsuits and won’t change. I still have a scar from this, and try to let people know whenever I can, to be aware if you get itchy or a rash starting (for me, it happened after a few weeks of wear) – don’t ignore it, it’s probably from your Victoria’s Secret bra.

Anyone want a bra-burning celebration? LOL

Amanda Loy 1 year ago

This is too funny!

Lucy 1 year ago

Well I just love this. About damn time… I mean we were all thinking it weren’t we?

Helen p 1 year ago

Ladies…as a former model and a non mother let me tell you a not so secret secret..these girls train hours a day..live on juice and also are very photoshopped!!!! Give yourselves a break for gods sake!! You have something more wonderful to show for it!! And in my opinion I do find the VS girls a tad skinny :) H x

Rebecca 1 year ago

Wow. It is clear that the article is written to be FUNNY. There is no other purpose except to poke a little fun at the truth. NO WOMAN poses like these women pose at the beach…they contort their bodies to make the hips they don’t have pop. YOU are the one that seems to have an issue…maybe within yourself?! The article was CLEARLY joking/comical/funny. Don’t take everything so seriously!

Rebecca 1 year ago

I LOVED this – hysterical! I am 30 and still buy bathing suits from VS & Beach Bunny. I have two kids and work hard to stay in shape…but you are spot on with your comments and I loved them! Most of the bathing suits they show are completely not practical for the beach OR running around and playing with kids! They have some simple ones though that aren’t too bad. I don’t like to flash my entire a*s to other beach goers (you’re welcome!) so I get bottoms that are more full coverage. I think VS is doing a disservice to many of their customers. Younger girls can buy these/wear them…okay fine.. but it’s REAL WOMEN who are willing to pay the extra money to get quality bathing suits. There should DEF. be more options available to us! I wish VS would ‘catch on’ and create a realistic swimsuit line for REAL WOMEN!

Iris 1 year ago

Lighten up everyone! Mandy makes her point and rather “tongue in cheek” bashes women who model. No offense meant I am sure. However, that said, I deplore the use of women objectified and half naked women are not a “healthy” advertisement. In this case they model swimsuits – how else could they look. An overweight model would have been tokenism and pandering at its worst.

YakeeGirl 1 year ago

A former VS model wrote an article about how ALL of the girls eat tissue to feel full, and have to sit down after only a few moments of shooting because they are too weak to make it through a full shoot. Not every thin person has an eating disorder, I agree, but the photoshop that is done on these photos is 50% removing and softening their bones so you don’t see them protruding too much. I’m 5’3 and go between 89 and 94lbs regularly. At 36 years old I still listen to people call me skeletor and then laugh and say its meant as a compliment. I’ll be the first one to stand up and say when someone is overstepping the bashing line – but this… this is just funny.

Mary H 1 year ago

Bingo! This is a funny article, people. Read it, enjoy it, forget about it.

nicole 1 year ago

They are probably thinking “wow, my life rocks! im beautiful, in shape, and getting paid millions of dollars to frolic on an exotic beach”.

Jamie 1 year ago

The only comment I have is that the “toddler” style suit is the top that is designed for flat chested women…. Because designers feel that we have to hid ourselves behind frill to give an appearance of a chest or draw attention to other parts of our bodies that are more appealing…..

Pam 1 year ago

Carry on with your bad self gurl! That was funny! I didn’t see this as so called “bullying” since the author started her article making fun of her own self. I don’t think this was written to make fun or scoff at anyone. Let’s face it, I would imagine the majority of women everywhere have been a little acerbic of these very thin, beautiful, and unattainable body types. These women are gorgeous and I’m pretty sure it takes more than I could “bare” to attain and keep these “hard-bodies”. I admire their dedication to their goal. I just don’t think most women are this “perfect”. I think all women are empowering but, please, we all know Victoria’s Secret is made for men! and….I hate having a wedgie and these suits are the ultimate “wedgie-wear”.

cyndi 1 year ago

The models are part of the problem. If these models wouldn’t fall into VS’ s and society’s ‘bulimically skinny is the only right way’ trap, then VS could not put out trash like this. We need to change society’s view of the perfect woman, and these models ain’t helping!

Elle 1 year ago

The thing about this article that gets me is women hating on other women. To the women who have a body that can show it off: do what empowers you. To the women who don’t have a body they feel they can show off: do what empowers you. How are men supposed to respect women if even women can’t respect each other?

La 1 year ago

Haters! I’ll be damned if I’m gonna wear a “mom” swimsuit cause I’m a mom. They look Hott and u know it! I’ll be ordering one of these asap.

Passion 1 year ago

I have to say I agree with the majority on this one. The article was great and seriously humorous until, the very end. I realize it was meant to be funny but being that I am nearly thirty with four amazing (skinny) kids and still weigh about 100lbs I get truly sick of hearing people telling me “you need to eat” “someone get her some a sandwich” and they all do it while laughing, obviously they find it funny to. It’s not funny. I eat nearly as much as my 220lb husband, I DO EAT. Plus, I snack every night in bed. Because of people like you I have tried over stuffing myself to try to gain weight however, it is impossible and out of my control. I don’t tell bigger woman to stop eating so please ladies stop telling skinny woman to eat. It is just as rude!

Kim 1 year ago

This is a blog: you read it, like it, and return to read more or you read it, dislike it and move on and never look back. This is Mandy’s blog and she can post about what she wants, if you don’t like it-move along.

Christine J Koszela 1 year ago

This made me Laugh Out Loud!! Thanks for the chuckle!!

RogerGomez 1 year ago

Panties in a wad? Eww, kinda…. sometimes…. never mind always…

RogerGomez 1 year ago

Haha you’re right;) Be proud though, I was born from one! And wouldn’t have chosen it any other way.

RogerGomez 1 year ago

I think you meant “soft porn for men to beat at, woman to ogle themselves up about…” You’re welcome for finding the error.

RogerGomez 1 year ago

Face it, you have builders bum. Embrace it.

RogerGomez 1 year ago

I completely agree with your comment Heather.

Lovergirl 1 year ago

Mandy, you are AWESOME! These are the kinds of laughs, cries, and discussions that we should be having as women but in the end, it all comes back to oneself!

If you feel good internally you should be confident in whatever sized body you have. Or, try to work hard to change it. If you feel like you are a 80 lb bag of bones, then try to gain some weight, buy protein powder, build muscle mass/whatever. If you are 30 lbs over weight, and you feel like a sexy diva every time you ass or tits be bouncin, then LOVE yourself, TOUCH yourself everyday and in every way. If you feel heavy, embarrassed and want to loose weight, then try and look for ways to do it.

If you look at me, I am a white girl and have lived in Pennsylvania, New York, Argentina, Chile, Spain, Kenya, India, and now I live in the Dominican Republic. My body looks like I am two different people in one. My upper half is much smaller than my bottom half. That means I got small titties and ribs and then thick thighs, calves and booty. In the US I felt so fat and gross because of my lower half. It wasnt until I arrived in Kenya that I was revered as some sort of princess from my friends who are part of the Luo tribe and say that big calves are the most beautiful feature on a woman. It made me feel beautiful. My butt is also respected and appreciated in Africa and the Dominican Republic.

I appreciate the comment about companies that should be giving a more down to earth perspective into the shapes and sizes of the women that buy from them. This is ideal, however Victoria Secret is going to keep producing the same size models because that is what they think “looks good in a bikini”. They sell women like American Football Cheerleaders sell football by wearing bras that make their boobs bounce like they are 34C’s when in fact they are possibly 32A’s. I mean there is a whole sex selling industry here and women/men buy into it depending on the geographical location. We should start seeing everybody as beautiful and celebrate the healthy differences that women’s bodies share. : – )

One love for all women who should feel beautiful.

Meika 1 year ago

I read through everyones comments and am yet discouraged.
Heather: You made some valid points but this isn’t “The People vs. Victoria Secret.” This isn’t a matter of siding with or against the author, she’s writing a thought provoking piece. Did it do its job? Did it make you think? If so hasn’t she done what she sought out to do? And as far as your comment about how “we need to show our girls other body types” going on to say that it isn’t the media’s job, but rather their job to sell–are they not doing just that? They are creating a market. Their job is to sell, how do you sell? You create what your market desires. And the easiest way to do that is to be what the market desires.
By your own admission you’re supporting their drive. Right or wrong, their mission is to make money–and my gosh haven’t they done just that?

Amber 1 year ago

Amazing how many completely missed the humor in this and preferred to nitpick then chastise the writer for her supposed “thin shaming”. Or feel the need to share your height, weight and diet out of insecurity. No one demeaned these models. A sentence about them being starved does not make for a whole argument about body shaming. They probably are starving. Hasn’t America’s Next Top Model taught this world nothing?! (sarcasm) Seriously though, that show depicted the crazy diets women went on to UNNATURALLY lose weight. Models have died trying to be thin. But let’s be real for a moment, chances are in real life – these ladies have ass fold and a little meat on their gorgeous bones. The real issue WE ALL should have is why the hell V.S and any other clothing brand wants women to look like pre-pubescent sexed up vixens. Anyone else feeling the outrage over that?! As for the body issue let’s all just breathe in some positivity and laugh our asses off at the absurdity of V.S bathing suits. Thin or heavy, rock that body and be your damned awesome self. Don’t nitpick humor and get butthurt for no reason though.

Amber 1 year ago

Amazing how many completely missed the humor in this and preferred to nitpick then chastise the writer for her supposed “thin shaming”. Or feel the need to share your height, weight and diet out of insecurity. No one demeaned these models. A sentence about them being starved does not make for a whole argument about body shaming. They probably are starving. Hasn’t America’s Next Top Model taught this world nothing?! (sarcasm) Seriously though, that show depicted the crazy diets women went on to UNNATURALLY lose weight. Models have died trying to be thin. But let’s be real for a moment, chances are in real life – these ladies have ass food and a little meat on their gorgeous bones. The real issue WE ALL should have is why the hell V.S and any other clothing brand wants women to look like pre-pubescent sexed up vixens. Anyone else feeling the outrage over that?! As for the body issue let’s all just breathe in some positivity and laugh our asses off at the absurdity of V.S bathing suits. Thin or heavy, rock that body and be your damned awesome self. Don’t nitpick humor and get butthurt for no reason though.

Amber 1 year ago

http://www.reyswimwear.com

This swim line encourages women to send in pics of them in the suits. I feel like I’m more likely to buy if I can imagine my body in it. VS swimsuits don’t seem very realistic or flattering to me.

Kori 1 year ago

Stand down ladies. I smell your estrogen from here! This was hilarious. I’m not sure why I don’t get the catalog but if I start getting it when my son turns 12 I won’t question why.

Kim 1 year ago

Love this! I feel the same way. It took 5 phone calls to get my address OFF the mail distribution. I have a13 yr old boy & an 8 yr old boy. I don’t need this magazine in my home. I laughed my butt off!

Cristie 1 year ago

First, i would like to say that I loved the article, witty sarcastic humor is always fabulous. Now on to more serious notes, every female out there has picked a catalog like this or a fashion magazine and found one great beauty in it. Whether conscience or not has gone to some length to emulate and strive what they found attractive to begin with, whether it’s a hairstyle ,clothing, jewelry, bathingsuit etc. To break down the humor that offended so many in this post….how many of you can actually wear this (Not physically but mentally wear this) and not feel even the slightest bit self conscience? We all daydream about looking like the perfect size two figure but through genetics, eating habits and lifestyle, most of us don’t. I would personally love to be able to wear this and turn every head on the beach….but at almost forty and three children…the fates decided that there’s no way on God’s green earth that i ever will…so do not get on your high horses because we’ve all been there and we’ve all gotten together with girlfriends and said summers coming Ethyl we need to get into shape. Our author here was doing a bit of tongue and cheek humor that we would do at a table drinking coffee with our friends. Don’t be so touchy, laugh more, judge less. May your mental body image become a healthy one and……..ladies take a freakin joke.

Sheryl 1 year ago

How kind of Victoria’s Secret to do a tribute to concentration camp victims.

Taylor 1 year ago

These girls are hot and I have no problem admitting it. If I had that hot of a body, I would rock those suits too!

Christopher 1 year ago

Please encourage people to RECYCLE their swim suit catalogues instead of throwing them in the trash with their rotten shit. 😉

Skye 1 year ago

Oh.my.god. Some people truly need to lighten up and laugh. There are wayyy worse things in life to take offense over or to be upset over. I personally find it funny as heck.

Taylor 1 year ago

I personally think they look HOT! I’m a mom and I have better things to do with my time then to analyze the hell out of a photo of a woman, and what she chooses to do with her body. Alright well gotta go … Off to the gym;)

Victoria 1 year ago

I don’t see all this shaming you’re referring to. She’s making light of the bathing suits, how they barely hold anything in, refers to how most women don’t have that body type, and how they use very young models to sell to women. Where is the shaming? I reread the entire thing and I just don’t see it. The jokes are mainly about the suits. I think you’re overly sensitive without just cause.

Sam I Am 1 year ago

LOL! I felt the same way when I received my catalogue! And I used to love VS bikinis, but most are just so trashy now. Plus, what about the shading on the boobs to make them look like there’s massive cleavage–those tiny pieces of cloth offer no gravity-defying support like that! I know, I have c-cups and have purchased several of their bikinis and they don’t hold them like it looks like in the pics!

Wendi 1 year ago

Lynn, Cindy and Heather

CTFO it’s HUMOR!!! you obviously have never been to a comedy show or watched one on TV…..Do you think that those girls would look at this post and be like “OMG they think I’m too skinny!!” “OMG they think my bathing suit is too skimpy” NO they made enough money to look at this post and say “That’s right bitches I’m hot and can pull this shit off!!” Get REAL!!!

Mel 1 year ago

The only thing that bothers me about these pictures is the obvious looking boob job that very young girl has had.

Kristen Forgione 1 year ago

OMG! This is hilarious and I totally agree! This provides some hilarious inspiration for my blog and you may see an upcoming post loosely based on this belly laughing write up! Thank you!

Kristen
http://www.thelifestyledco.com

Lynn 1 year ago

Just because a girl is skinny does not mean she does not eat or is unhealthy. It also doesn’t mean because they don’t have a “butt line” they are prepubescent. Some people are just “lucky” to have a fast metabolism and if that bothers you it is not their fault. I eat 3 course meals including dessert most evenings and often for lunch. I am skinny, 104 and 5’7″ I am in no way starving myself, in fact I probably eat more than you. It is nasty to belittle someone for any size be it big or small. I agree those swimsuits are terrible but give the models a break. It’s not their fault.

Toby Two 1 year ago

Wow! I’ve never seen anything like that while working and living in Kentucky!
I’ll bet they did that photo shoot down by the river in Lexington and flew in the sand and bright sunshine.

Karina 1 year ago

Wow. Some ladies missed the point of the article. Humor much? Was there any moment during this tongue in cheek article that led you to believe she was serious? With attitudes like that, I’m not sure why you even bothered to read it. Move along ladies, there is plenty of dry material out there to be had.

Christina McGann 1 year ago

I.Am.Crying.Heeeeeere!!!!!!!!!!!!Kisses from Germany,you made my day,sista!!!!

chris_b 1 year ago

They don’t crash diet they live on black coffee and a spoonful of plain yogurt every other day.Don’t believe me go ask a few models who have lived this way.I can tell you firsthand that it is brutal and very unhealthy.Every year there are one or more who lose their lives to heart failure.Not all of them are famous yet but a few are. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luisel_Ramos Educate yourself a little more before opening your mouth about things you know zip about.

Wendi 1 year ago

I thought it was some funny shit!! Absolutely nothing to get your panties in a wad about…I’m going to go eat my snickers bar and drink my diet coke now…

Susan Maccarelli 1 year ago

This is hilarious! I LOVED it. What are these girls thinking when they are getting these pictures taken and more importantly what does the instruction from the photog. sound like? “act like you 4 and you just got a time out”, “stand as if you are trying to eject a suppository from your bum and smile”.

sammie 1 year ago

This is absolutely hilarious!! Laughing out loud for real over here. Such a fun post!

hannah m 1 year ago

I am sure these women work hard for their bodies. Also, I am sure the art director works equally hard Photoshopping the shit out of them to create some unattainable body type that does not exist on this planet. Have you ever seen this perfection walking on the beach? No. Thin is one thing… a mythical fantasy computer generated humanoid is another. Carry on with your funny self.

Rachel 1 year ago

People, you’re over analyzing . There is no deeper meaning here . It is called “funny”. If you want to pick apart the article , make argument over deep broad issues affecting women, share your weight and height , and examine for statistical accuracy or a scientific study then I should think it was be obvious that this is not the place.

Jules 1 year ago

This was all kinds of awesome. Tote bags for everyone!

Kristen 1 year ago

The “diaper” is VS throwing a bone to all us c-section mommies out there…thanks, but no thanks!!!

Rachel 1 year ago

There is about 2 inches of fabric between this and naked pin ups from playboy. Let’s just call it what it is- soft porn for men to ogle at, women to beat themselves up about and let’s stop buying this crap. Eventually Victorias Secret will get the hint right?? (Yeah, as if)

Janet 1 year ago

I would say almost all perspectives on this blog are valid. But what I simply cannot understand or prescribe to is the obsession with sex appeal. It’s great to look great – and be happy about it – but if your man is with you because of how you look, isn’t that a slap on the – butt – cheek for him and you? Is it a coincidence that models and actresses routinely have spouses / partners who cheat on them? If a guy is hooked by the way you look, I can guarantee there will always be bait out there that appeals to him more than the one he’s got already. Don’t play the game to start with. It only has losers.

E 1 year ago

Before everyone gets their VS negligee in a knot, I wouldn’t go defending the health or even legitimacy of these women’s appearances – I’m going to share a little secret with you – they’re using a little thing called “photoshop”!
Of course the gorgeous and genetically gifted do exist, and no they don’t deserve to be “thin shamed” or whatever. However, it’s a pretty well known fact that magazines like this one use editing to create impossible standards of beauty, and in my opinion that’s nothing worth defending.
I’d rather eat another bowl of pasta salad and have myself a snort-laugh :)

Sara 1 year ago

I am 5’6″ and 110 lbs. I realize that the author is just being funny. However, when reading comments about how being thin is unhealthy. I laugh my ass off. Seriously!? You don’t have to be starved to be thin. It’s not unhealthy for young women to want to be fit. If you really want to create a healthy environment for young women negative comments about people any size shouldn’t be said. And hopefully young GIRLS aren’t reading this stuff…. Or wearing it!

Libby 1 year ago

Photo 6 from the top looks like this girl is in desperate need of the toilet! not exactly a pose that I would do on the beach but have done went in desperate need of the toilet. lol.

I have a bum that looks like that, i am also very slim, but there is know way i would ever wear swim ware designed like this, and i could wear it but i choose not to. my main reason is when you have paid £30 – £50 for your swim wear I dont want to find £15 -£20 pounds worth stuck up my backside.
I also find it more sickening than anything else seeing someone butt crack, The showing of the butt crack has never been sexy, a lot of builders have this problem and it is referred to as builders bum, I would be gutted if my neat little butt was referred to as builders bum.

Heather 1 year ago

That is why we need to work hard to show our girls other body types also. That is her body, whether it is through hard work or genetics, it is what it is. It isn’t media’s job to teach our kids what’s normal and acceptable. It’s their job to sell shit. It’s our job as parents to help our kids wade through the media influence and come out the other side being shrewd consumers and good people.

Also, remember it isn’t just girls who see this stuff. In fact, I feel like boys seeing it is just as bad because they grow up expecting women to be like this.

Andi jones 1 year ago

Also, I’m not trying to disparage this woman. I think it’s really sad that this is what is set up to be an ideal body type for women. Young girls will look to these women as what they should aspire to and it’s dangerous for their health. If that is your natural body type with a healthy diet, great, but for most models, they have to starve themselves to get this thin and that is dangerous and sad.

Mommy-Jen 1 year ago

“Fashion forward, bitches”
Lost it right there.

Andi jones 1 year ago

The woman who needs to be rinsed off: someone feed her! That poor woman is starving. Is this seriously supposed to be an ideal body type? She probably hasn’t had her period in months. Egads. Poor woman.

Stephanie 1 year ago

This is pretty damned funny! Those bathing suits are made for nubile, pre-baby bodies. I’m a half size shy of fitting in their bras again. I probably could now, but I think I’m going to pass. Their tops just don’t hold in all the experience I have.

backwardparentingbybrita 1 year ago

I could not agree more! Just when I was feeling somewhat ok with myself- I’m turning 39 for Pete’s sake, so what if I have some jiggle- I get slapped with my husband’s dream beach date times 50. Oh well…thank goodness for cover ups. And tankinis. And people like you.