10 Reasons Parents No Longer Enjoy The Bar Scene

by Alexandria Ayres
Originally Published: 
A crowd of young people dancing at a bar

A night out is just not the same as it was before having kids. Of course going out, getting a break from the kids, and hanging out with good friends is a nice reprieve, but coffee shops and spas are more your speed these days. Why doesn’t the bar scene work for parents? Here are ten reasons…

1. It’s just too late. It’s all about brunching and day drinking now, none of this out ’til early morning crap. Nothing good happens after midnight anyways, right?! You have waffles and bacon to get to in the morning… and you want to be well rested.

2. It’s expensive. The next morning you’re scared to look at your bank account. It’s not that you’re spending your life savings to go have some vodka-waters or anything, but it’s that you’re literally drinking your money away and that makes your stomach hurt. Preschool and birthday parties are putting a big enough dent in your wallet these days.

3. The Crowds. Being packed like a sardine in a hot club is no longer your idea of fun. You can’t understand how people actually enjoy this. But, then again, you handle those Disney World crowds with a Mickey shaped ice cream cone in your hand like nobody’s business.

4. The music is too loud. You don’t even like loud music in the car anymore, why would you go somewhere with blaring music so loud that you are unable to talk to the people you’re there to see? Ludicrous. You didn’t leave your kids at home and drive all the way here to get a migraine.

5. You wonder where all the seating is. You just want to sit down and not have to chase around a toddler for 20 minutes. That’s why you got a babysitter, right?

6. You only want to go to places that serve food. This is your time to eat something (with both hands) that you didn’t have to cook. You think you make way better drinks at home than the bartender anyways, so just bring out the food already. That’s what you really want.

7. You no longer care that other people are out having “fun”. You use to go out all the time because everyone else was and you didn’t want to miss out on the fun. Now you could absolutely care less and you know you’re having more fun at home playing with dolls or trucks than the people out spending their rent money on cheap booze.

8. Your hangover feels more like a deadly virus. THE.WORST.

9. You’re absolutely horrified when you walk into the dirty bathrooms. You think your bathrooms at home are dirty, until you walk into a bar bathroom. Bathtub toys and kid’s underwear are much better than whatever that is in the corner over there. You don’t remember these things bothering you before…have the bathrooms changed? Or have you changed? I’m guessing the latter.

10. You have your phone glued to your hand. Not to take pictures of the awesomeness that surrounds you, but because you’re worried you’ll miss a call from the babysitter.

What you really enjoy (most days) is being with your kids, and when you’re not with them, you better be sipping a mimosa somewhere getting a massage. Am I right?

Related post: 5 Ways Date Night Changes With Kids

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