The Princess Gets a Name, and a Legacy Only a Baby Could Sleep Through

by Laurie Ulster
Originally Published: 

The newest addition to the British royal family arrived on Saturday morning, weighing in at 8 lbs., 3 ozs., and become an instant news story without having to do anything but be her cute, sweet self. It’s her mama who did all the work, showing her true Duchess of Cambridge colors when she emerged from the hospital later that day looking beautiful and completely put together (more so than, say, I do right now, and my last baby was born seven years ago). But that comes with the royal territory.

She’ll be worth a billion British pounds before her 10th birthday, but for now she eats, sleeps and cries, just like the rest of us. Unlike the rest of us, she’s fourth in line for the British throne, having just bumped Prince Harry down a spot. Her birth was announced on the news, on social media and by a town crier, for the win, who hopped out of a taxi and called it out by the front steps of the hospital in full regalia. Twitter, schmitter! You can’t beat a town crier.

Charlotte is the first princess to be born into the British monarchy in 25 years, and to a generation of girls raised on Frozen, there’s nothing more exciting than a baby princess. It’s been predicted that just by existing, she’ll contribute somewhere in the neighborhood of 150 million British pounds a year to the economy as the fashion and beauty industry tries to emulate her future hairstyles and outfits, things that aren’t even a reality yet, since for now she’s more likely to be sporting onesies and fancy burp cloths than fashion statements. Do they have royal burp cloths? They have royal burps, whether they like it or not, along with royal diapers and royal poops.

So: No pressure, little princess! You concentrate on learning to smile, and sleep through the night, and eventually even sit up all by your royal self, and let the world keep whirling around you. These first years are the only time in your life that you will feel like a normal, everyday baby, oblivious to the fanfare that takes place in your honor. It’s a heady thing, being a princess, but it’s not your problem just yet. Shhh.

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