50 Things Moms Miss Most About Their Pre-Kid Lives

by Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 

1. Sleep.

2. Money.

3. The never-had-a-baby body.

4. Having the freedom to make plans at the spur of the moment. Spontaneity.

5. Sleep.

6. Going to the bathroom alone.

7. Lack of mom guilt.

8. Personal space that doesn’t involve people touching, tugging, and crawling all over you.

9. Holding linear, coherent, uninterrupted conversations with other adults.

10. Sleep.

11. Watching television that isn’t animated.

12. Hot coffee…a whole cup of it all in one glorious sitting.

13. Walking around the house naked.

14. Grocery shopping without hyperventilating at the check-out total.

15. Sleep.

16. Being able to have a few drinks without worrying about having to wake up at 5AM with a hangover and a toddler wanting breakfast.

17. Being able to clean, and have it remain tidy for more than an hour.

18. Date nights that don’t involve a curfew as the meter ticks on the babysitter.

19. Not urinating after every sneeze, cough, laugh, or moving the wrong way.

20. Sleep.

21. Going more than 24 hours free from someone else’s bodily fluids. (i.e. being peed on, puked on, pooped on, snotted on, etc.)

22. Adult interaction.

23. Having awesome shoes. And having awesome places to go to while wearing them.

24. Enjoying a hot shower as long as the hot water holds out.

25. Sleep.

26. Leaving the house with a wallet and the car keys and nothing else.

27. Spontaneous sex.

28. Being able to savor a hot meal.

29. Having a telephone conversation that lasts more than a minute and a half uninterrupted.

30. Sleep.

31. Getting together with friends without having to pre-plan for a month beforehand.

32. Seeing the bottom of the laundry hamper.

33. Actually resting on a sick day.

34. Books without pictures.

35. Sleep.

36. Walking though the house without shoes, and not having to worry about sharp object assassination attempts strewn all over the floor.

37. Making decisions without worrying if you’re scarring someone for life.

38. Silence.

39. Having an actual day OFF.

40. Sleep.

41. Having a nice meal in a restaurant that doesn’t feature a drive-through.

42. Having free time to do absolutely nothing.

43. Having a clean car, inside and out.

44. Having a job, or even a hobby, that is a reflection of ambitions and talent, instead of how well it fits into someone else’s schedule.

45. Sleep.

46. Vacations that felt like actual vacations.

47. Staying up late for whatever reason, knowing that you can sleep in the next morning.

48. Having time, energy, and sanity.

49. Dates where conversation never centered around poop, money or schedules.

50. Sleep.

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