Parenting|

This Company Is Changing The Conversation Around How We Feed Our Babies, And All We Can Say Is HELL YES

by Team Scary Mommy
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Originally Published: 

Prior to having kids, I envisioned myself as a “chill earth mother” — especially when it came to breastfeeding. I fantasized about wearing my baby in one of those cute baby wraps as I did the weekly grocery shopping, casually retrieving my breast from my shirt and plunking my nipple into my baby’s patiently waiting mouth while comparing prices on granola.

I was born to breastfeed. I mean — wasn’t I? Breast is best, said seemingly every piece of literature I read about feeding my baby. The most natural thing in the world.

Reality didn’t play out the way I’d imagined. Though each of my babies did learn to latch after much practice, my body never made enough milk, no matter what I did. And breastfeeding hurt a lot more than any of the books had let on. With my first child, when I finally broke down and gave him a bottle of baby formula at four weeks, I bawled my eyes out. There I was, a sleep-deprived, bedraggled mom, sobbing on the bed next to her baby as he contentedly filled his tiny belly, satiated at last. He had finally stopped crying, and now, instead, I was the one crying.

I had given my baby what he needed, and yet I was convinced I had failed as a mother.

And you know what? That’s pure insanity. I didn’t fail my baby, and no parent who chooses formula is failing their baby, whether they’re supplementing or using formula exclusively. And yet my story is not unusual. Many parents — specifically moms in the U.S. — feel an intense amount of pressure to breastfeed to the point that not doing so makes them feel like they’re doing something wrong. New moms, under pressure to be The World’s Most Perfect Parent™, attempt to show everyone they can do all the things, including breastfeeding, climbing the career ladder, and raising other children, when in reality they’re drowning. Adoptive parents or parents via surrogate dodge questions about whether they’ll feed their babies donor milk, as if that is the only reasonable (though extremely expensive) option. This is where “breast is best” doesn’t meet modern parenting in its current reality.

It’s way past time to change the conversation about how we feed our babies. No more casually questioning a new parent “How is breastfeeding going?” No more “Oh, were you not able to give your baby breast milk?” No more assuming that if a parent is feeding their baby formula, it’s because something “went wrong” with the “best” way. Any choice a parent is making that is best for them and their situation is best. Period. Enough with the guilt.

It’s nobody’s business whether a parent is breastfeeding or formula feeding. Also, when we assume that a breast is (or should be) involved in feeding, we exclude so many modern families and parents, from adoptive to LGTBTQ+ to those who had their babies via surrogacy to mastectomy moms. This is why Bobbie is highlighting the feeding journeys of new parents Tan France, BRCA Previvor Lesley Anne Murphy, mom to four Kelly Stafford, and entrepreneur Hannah Bronfman, who each share how and why they turned to formula. Their stories are beyond relatable, from struggling to meet their own breastfeeding goals to enduring cruel judgment via social media for their choices. They’re speaking out now to evolve the conversation on feeding and be more inclusive of every kind of feeding choice.

We’re all in this together, and we parents need to start supporting each other. Bobbie is on a mission to help us do just that — on their How is Feeding Going site, with just a few small clicks, you can pledge to change the conversation about how we feed our babies. It’s such a tiny, simple shift in wording. Instead of “How is breastfeeding going?” we ask “How is feeding going?” That’s it. So easy!

Best of all, for every pledge, Bobbie, a maker of organic baby formula, will donate a can of its formula to a milk-insecure baby. Also, their website Milk-Drunk offers an incredible resource for parents looking for straightforward, inclusive, judgment-free support for feeding their baby — however they choose to do so.

It’s okay to nourish your baby with formula. Really. It’s okay. After all, infant formula is one of the most highly regulated food products in the United States — it’s not a “second best” option. It’s another option — a completely valid one. As parents, we’re judged so harshly on what kind of birth we have, whether we work or stay home, whether (and precisely how) we co-sleep, which pre-school our kids attend, how fancy their stroller is… it’s too much. You deserve to feel supported. I deserved to feel supported. We all do. So let’s do this. Let’s change the conversation.

The modern parent has changed. The feeding conversation should too. Bobbie is a new, organic infant formula company — the only one in the U.S. founded by moms — that exists to evolve the conversation on how we feed our babies. Take the pledge here.

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