There’s a woman who lives at the end of my road, and I’ve never cared for her — I’ll just be honest about that right away. When we moved into the neighborhood, I had a baby and was pregnant with my second. Then we got a dog, had our second child, and I got pregnant again right away.
We were good neighbors; we waved, we smiled, but I couldn’t make it to any of her invites. First, kids weren’t welcome. She and her husband had never had kids, which is fine. In our first conversations, she was very vocal about how she had a high-power position in her job, and could never, ever stay at home with children.
I believe her exact words were, “I’d rather die.”
I also have to include that in our little neighborhood, she liked to hold meetings and try to get our street to agree on things like keeping our garage doors closed at all times and painting all of our front doors certain colors so we’d have a uniform look. She even proposed once that we should all only allow cats, no dogs.
No. My husband and I had paid for our home with our own money and wanted to do what we pleased with our property. If we wanted rules, we would have moved into a condo association and paid fees. I was very vocal about that.
Because of our differences (and her hatred of kids and pets), she’s not someone I want to spend time with but, we can peacefully coexist and share a street.
Well, it’s almost twenty years later and she’s obviously upset I couldn’t make it to her latest invite, because she came knocking on my doorstep to tell me I was very unfriendly, unneighborly, and she highly doubts I really don’t have time to make it to her neighborhood gatherings.
The thing is, I don’t want to go — and that’s the same thing as not having time, as we all know.
After she decided to chew me out on my own doorstep, I had to let her know I didn’t have the time to carry on with this conversation any longer because moms don’t have time for anyone’s bullshit.
Moms are already maxed out in the bullshit department from dealing with our kids all day (yes, our kids can drive us crazy and we can still love the shit out of them) and there literally isn’t one inch of space left for anyone else.
If you are a mom, chances are you lie in bed every night and think, I’ve had it up to here today and I have nothing left for anyone else.
If you are a mom, you are in constant Mama Bear mode and you will do what’s best for you and your family at any cost. That means if someone is trying to start with you, cause drama in your life, or make it harder than it already is, you don’t have the bandwidth to deal with it — so you don’t.
If you are a mom, you barely have time for yourself and your own bullshit, so why would you make time for someone else’s?
And the best thing about a mother is the bullshit detector is very sensitive, so you can smell that stank miles away and have no shame in telling it to fuck off.
People are so quick to think it’s because we are juggling too much, we are tired, we are stressed, or overworked, which is all true.
However, because of our mommy lifestyle, we now have the guts to cut the bullshit off at the ankles. We know we can’t take it on since one of our kids will either be setting (both literal and proverbial) booby traps for us, keeping us up all night, throwing a tantrum, lying to us, or slamming exactly one-hundred doors in our faces.
See what I’m saying here? When you are a mom there’s already so much bullshit happening, there aren’t any cracks to let more in.
But more importantly we want to show our kids that we don’t have to put up with someone disrespecting us, taking advantage of us, wasting our time, or causing trouble.
No one has time for that anyway, but as moms, we aren’t afraid to make that crystal clear.
Remember, you are a mother. You don’t need to put up with anyone’s bullshit. Not even a tiny turd nugget someone is trying to drop in front of you. Because if you’re like every other mother out there, you certainly have enough.