35+ Hilarious Toddler Jokes, Puns, And Riddles – Scary Mommy

35+ Hilarious Toddler Jokes That Will Tickle Your Little Munchkin

November 15, 2019 Updated October 8, 2020

toddler jokes
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Toddlers love jokes. Thankfully, it’s also easy to make them laugh. Making a toddler joke can involve sophisticated comedy such as making fart jokes and noises, blowing raspberries, or making funny faces. Sometimes, however, you need more inspired material. So we’ve assembled some quality material and kid’s jokes for you for the next time you need to avoid a toddler tantrum, or you want to distract your little one while you try to sneak some veggies into their plates.

1. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?

I scream!

2. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

Dino-SNORE!

3. Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Justin.

Justin who?

Justin time for breakfast!

toddler jokes: a toddler running in a circle
Giphy

4. What does the cow do for fun?

It goes to the moooo-vies.

5. What’s a train with a cold?

A-choo choo train!

Related: Hilarious Jokes For Kids That Adults Find Funny Too

6. Why was six scared of seven?

Because seven eight nine!

7. Why does the banana need medication?

It isn’t peeling well!

8. Why is the clock banned from the library?

Because it tocks too much!

9. What type of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree!

10. Where does the queen keep her army?

Up her sleevies!

12. Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Boo!
Boo who?

Oh no, don’t cry!

13. Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Interrupting pirate!

Interup…

AAAAAR!

toddler jokes: a toddler lifting a hat
Giphy

14. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Banana!

Banana who?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Banana!

Banana who?

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?!

15. Why do we call seagulls seagulls?

Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!

16. What do you call a dancing cow?

A milk shake!

17. What’s the pirate’s favorite letter?

Arrrr!

18. How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

19. What cheese is only mine?

Nacho cheese!

20. Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, sillyhead! Cows go “moo!”

21. What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.

22. What does one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!

23. Why do we never tell jokes about pizza?
They’re too cheesy.

24. What do you give a sick lemon?

Lemon Aid!

25. What is brown and sticky?

A stick!

26. What’s the difference between zebras and bananas?

Bananas are yellow!

27. Why did the boy cross the street?

Because the cow said MOOOOOOOOOOOO.

28. What is a booger’s favorite song?

The Motown Boogie.

29. Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak!

30. What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?

A chicken sees a salad.

31. Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting cow wh–

MOOOOOO!!!!!!!

32. What does a cow do for fun?

Goes to the mooo-vies.

33. Where do you learn to make ice cream?
Sundae school.

34. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.

35. What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.

36. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
She’ll Let It Go.