Toddlers love jokes. Thankfully, it’s also easy to make them laugh. Making a toddler joke can involve sophisticated comedy such as making fart jokes and noises, blowing raspberries, or making funny faces. Sometimes, however, you need more inspired material. One of the best things about having a toddler is that they’re not hard critics when it comes to jokes. They’re a pretty easy crowd, but only if you reach them at their level. In this case, animal jokes and funny questions that pertain to them are basically your best bet. Plus, what’s better than the sound of a giggling baby?
So we’ve assembled some quality material and kid’s jokes for you for the next time you need to avoid a toddler tantrum, or you want to distract your little one while you try to sneak some veggies into their plates.
1. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
2. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
3. Knock knock!
Justin time for breakfast!
4. What does the cow do for fun?
It goes to the moooo-vies.
5. What’s a train with a cold?
A-choo choo train!
6. Why was six scared of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
7. Why does the banana need medication?
It isn’t peeling well!
8. Why is the clock banned from the library?
Because it tocks too much!
9. What type of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!
10. Where does the queen keep her army?
Up her sleevies!
12. Knock knock!
Oh no, don’t cry!
13. Knock knock!
14. Knock, knock.
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?!
15. Why do we call seagulls seagulls?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
16. What do you call a dancing cow?
A milk shake!
17. What’s the pirate’s favorite letter?
18. How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
19. What cheese is only mine?
20. Knock knock!
Cows go who?
No, sillyhead! Cows go “moo!”
21. What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
22. What does one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!
23. Why do we never tell jokes about pizza?
They’re too cheesy.
24. What do you give a sick lemon?
25. What is brown and sticky?
26. What’s the difference between zebras and bananas?
Bananas are yellow!
27. Why did the boy cross the street?
Because the cow said MOOOOOOOOOOOO.
28. What is a booger’s favorite song?
The Motown Boogie.
29. Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak!
30. What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
31. Knock, knock
Interrupting cow wh–
32. What does a cow do for fun?
Goes to the mooo-vies.
33. Where do you learn to make ice cream?
34. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
35. What do you call a sad strawberry?
36. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
She’ll Let It Go.
37. Why didn’t the duck pay for the chapstick?
He wanted to put it on his bill.
38. Why did Darth Vader turn off one light?
He prefers it on the dark side.
39. What do you call a fly without wings?
40. How do you throw a party on Mars?
Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!
42. Why did the superhero flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
43. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
It was feeling crumb-y.
44. How does the ocean say hello?
45. What did the tree say to the wind?
“Leaf me alone!”
46. What did one firefly say to the other?
“You glow, girl!”