From The Confessional: Cutting Off My Toxic Family Member Was The Best Gift To Myself

by Cassandra Stone
Originally Published: 
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Boundaries are necessary for many family relationships, and sometimes that boundary is estrangement

One of the hardest things many people will ever do is cut off a family member — a parent, a sibling, or a relative who simply cannot exist in your life in a functional manner because they’re too toxic. Blood doesn’t run “thicker than water” when it comes to your health and wellbeing. Simply put, some people just don’t deserve to be part of your life. And that’s okay.

These folks have made the big cut with someone in their lives, and are here to share in our confessional that it was the best thing they’ve ever done. Removing a toxic person from your life isn’t always a popular decision, either, but it can definitely be a necessary one.

Confessional #20208714

For the first time ever, being estranged from my toxic family didn’t ruin the holidays for me. I no longer care about attending their get-togethers. If they only want me around if I’ll permit their abuse, fuck ’em! Peace at last!

Confessional #19436942

I recently started living by Maya Angelou’s quote, ‘When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.’ It’s already saved me from bs, helped me finally let go of my toxic family, and given me a new appreciation for my good DH and my life.

A lot of people out there have a toxic mother — which can wreak havoc on your life in a million ways, especially if you have children.

Confessional #18968584

I’m cutting out toxic family members from my life. It sure does feel good!

Confessional #18313307

I was the ugly duckling of my family, meaning I was treated like I was less worthy of respect and consideration than my many younger cousins. I eventually moved away and realized I’m a swan. Get away from your toxic family. You don’t owe them anything.

Confessional #13131492

I often wonder what I could’ve accomplished in this life if I had been raised by loving supportive people. I’m doing okay, but only because I ghosted my entire toxic family 28 years ago.

We’re actually under no obligation to continue to put ourselves through mental and emotional anguish just because someone gave birth to us or shares blood with us. These confessions prove it.

Confessional #23858726

My dad is an enabler for my toxic mom, but he was so kind and wise sometimes. I really miss him. Why did my mom’s mental illness have to take so much from me?

Confessional #24624206

3rd time to make myself heard with toxic mother. It was a clusterfuck. I feel strong though. I took her on and didn’t back down. The manipulation and emotional abuse has stopped today.

Going “no-contact” doesn’t mean that the complicated feelings about that person disappear. It just means you’re trying to create the best life you can for yourself without their influence or harmful input.

Confessional #5543377

My toxic Mother(and my father) hasn’t acknowledged my children and I for over two years. Sad but so much easier without the drama. Got a msg today from a friend saying she misses us and wants to reconnect. Didn’t call but feel guilty at the same time.

Confessional #1415494

I’m so FUCKING excited for my self because I am defending myself and protecting myself from my toxic mother! I’m about to break shit Looooseee!

Navigating toxic in-laws can be more complicated, as it’s up to the spouse/direct relative to navigate those choppy waters.

Confessional #25774812

I just realized my friend is actually my frenemy. Toxic AF. How to end this after 30yrs & so many common friends? I want her out of my life.

Confessional #25774026

My mother passed recently. I miss all the good parts, but the toxic parts were so bad that I am kinda relieved she’s gone. Is that bad?

2020 has been bad enough, right? If you’ve got toxicity you can control in your life, say buh-bye to it this year if you can. Therapy, supportive friends, good family members — utilize whatever you need to and whoever you need to in order to get there.

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