Trump Sent Out A Totally Bonkers 'Poll' You Have To See To Believe

by Valerie Williams
Originally Published: 
Joe Raedle/Getty and

Trump’s “poll” that lays out the differences between himself and democrats is simply unreal

In the time of Donald Trump, it’s pretty easy to forget that almost nothing he says or does is normal for a U.S. president. Every day, often several times a day, he makes headlines for whatever bizarre, wrong, dumb, or outright cruel thing he says or does. Sadly, America has slowly become desensitized to the madness, but his latest WTF moment is standing out from the others — because it’s just that bonkers.

The actual president of this (formerly) great nation of ours just rolled out a poll to his followers that honestly looks like a page ripped straight from The Onion. When I saw it, at first, I assumed that it was. It’s that completely batshit crazy.

If you have friends or family members who seem legitimately lost to you, as in, they’ll believe literally anything as long as Trump says it, maybe seeing this not at all biased poll from his campaign website will help shed some light. If this is the usual brand of propaganda they’re fed, it’s easy to see why Trump fans have stopped believing anyone or anything else. Here goes. Brace yourself.

Donald Trump

He asks questions like, “Who would you rather see fix our Nation’s shattered immigration polices?” and provides handy responses such as, “President Trump” or “A MS-13 Loving Democrat.”

I mean, with choices like that, what do you pick? This is seriously on par maturity-wise with the dumb notes we sent to boys in middle school asking “do you like me, circle yes or no” except, oh wait, it’s not nearly as heartfelt and democratic. Back in 7th grade, we gave two perfectly sane choices. Now, it’s like, “do you want to vote for me or have literally everything be wrong and awful 4ever because DEMOCRATS?”

Um, sidebar? He got a few years with a Republican-controlled House and Senate. So if he can’t “fix immigration” under those circumstances, then maybe he has no idea what he’s talking about? Just spitballing here.

Believe it or not, it gets worse, folks.

Donald Trump

This is… wow. This is something alright.

Beyond the fact that THE PRESIDENT publishes things this completely whacky on his website is the disturbing knowledge that millions of people eat it up. They love that he’s a taunting schoolyard bully who’s totally allergic to facts. They love that he’s “tough” and calls those sleazy, lyin’ Democrats names! MAGA! I mean honestly, WTF is happening to us?

Donald Trump

Also, please call Kamala “low energy” in a debate, Donny. I triple dog dare you.

Anyway, if you decide to go through with this ridiculous “poll” just to mess with his results (because you know if the results don’t please him it will actually keep him up at night and that’s kind of delightful to imagine), you can use a fake email like one of my friends did so this joke of a campaign can’t keep contacting you with more looney propaganda. Be warned that after completion, you’ll immediately be redirected to a plea for a campaign donation — all set up to hand over $100 to this lying carnival barker, whether you asked to or not.

Scary Mommy

Deep breaths, y’all. 2020 is coming.

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