First of all, our kids are spoiled as shit. Christmas is barely over when the sugary onslaught of Valentines Day descends upon us. Then, if parents really love their kids, a leprechaun leaves little piles of treats for them in March. (I apparently do not love my kids enough, and therefore am greeted with sad eyes every St. Patricks Day when my neglected leprechaun-less children slink off to school, shoulders hunched, without candy. Because GOOD LORD THERE ARE ENOUGH HOLIDAYS.)
And then, almost immediately after that, is Easter. And Easter is the worst of all. Because not only do you need to give your feral children more sugar, but also you have to pretend that a giant bunny broke into your house to do so. A giant Easter chicken would be more realistic, because at least chickens actually lay eggs. (Still equally as bizarre and fucked up, though.)
But, we do it anyway. The over-the-top Christmases and Valentines and chocolate hearts and even the leprechaun if you’re Mom of the Year. We do it because then we get to steal the good stuff (like Reese’s eggs) and throw away the nasty shit Great-Aunt Martha gave them (like blue peeps) after the kids are finally asleep.
(I mean, we also do it because we love them. But mostly for the candy.)
Here are some funny tweets about parents just like you who are slightly annoyed about Easter, but who also enjoy the occasional (nightly) handful of jellybeans just the same.
When you look back and think of your proudest mom-moments…
Can you really blame her since your lunch wasn’t much different?
And then there’s are the messes.
Spoiler alert: It’s probably not chocolate.
But this kid sure knows how to play the game:
Is it a crime scene or did the kids just give themselves 6 new cavities? (The first choice is better, tbh.)
Go look for more eggs, honey! Mommy’s just got to get something out of the pantry!
Don’t question our parenting.
When you think your kids may have taken it too far…
Agreed. There are not two sides of this.
A mother’s love knows no limits.
Ah, yes. The grownups at the egg hunt. Better than Game of Thrones.
Enjoy kids! Mommy loves you!
So, happy weird bunny-candy-delivery day, everyone! May your homes be filled with laughter, Starburst jelly-beans, and all the chocolate bunnies in all the world. (And zero Peeps.) I hope your day is exactly how you dreamed it would be. My kids will probably fight to the death over the last egg in the yard and eat sugar until they puke, as the good Lord intended. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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