I used to think that once I’d made it through the toddler years, parenting would “calm down” a bit. Not necessarily get easier — because nothing is ever easier — but just not quite so topsy-turvy, you know? And things did calm down a little… and then age 12 happened.
Holy shit, folks. Threenagers have nothing on a pre-teen. And I can only assume it’s going to get even more… unpredictable as we dive deeper into the adolescence. At least that’s what other parents tell me.
[Me before teens]
*super irritated that people always say, “Oh you think it’s bad now just wait til they’re teens…”*
[Me after teens]
GOD HELP US THEY WERE RIGHT
— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) December 11, 2017
Because even though all of us were tweens and teens before, we’ve never been on this side of it. At least we can commiserate, right?
There are definitely some universal truths to teens. Like the smell.
According to my teenage sons the appropriate number of squirts of Axe Body Spray is somewhere between 38 and 579.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) March 27, 2017
We used to hope that they’d stop saying Mom-Mom-Mom-Mom-Mom ten million times a day, and now it’s all we can do to get more than a grunt or a monosyllabic response out of them.
Just changed the Netflix password so my teenager has to come out of his room to talk to me.
— Wendi Aarons (@WendiAarons) October 16, 2016
“When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”
― Nora Ephron
— Steven Isserlis (@StevenIsserlis) October 13, 2017
I never knew that teenagers say “Why???” even more than toddlers.
— Deva Dalporto (@mylifesuckers) June 28, 2019
But half the time we kinda miss them…
Babies&small children need attention 24/7. Then they become teens& hide in their rooms, avoiding you as much as possible, to make up for it.
— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) June 18, 2016
Dad: Sweetie, if there’s ever anything you want to talk about, mom and I are here for you.
— Deva Dalporto (@mylifesuckers) August 24, 2019
Though the other half we’re wondering WTF they’re thinking.
Just watched one of my teens struggle for 10 minutes to use a can opener on a can of soup with a pull tab.
The good news: She did get the can open, & that’s likely one less college tuition for us.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) November 13, 2017
Oh and they’re gross AF.
95% of my teenager's room could be a laundry basket and he'd manage to throw his clothes in the 5% that wasn't.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) August 31, 2017
My teens cleaned their rooms & according to my sink & countertops, they've been hoarding my whole kitchen.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 11, 2017
I shut my teen's bedroom door to make my house feel cleaner.
— Sara (@sara_ashlynn) May 26, 2017
FYI: For those of you thinking of stopping at my 13yo son's lemonade stand on Avalon Drive, I just drove by and saw him with his mouth on the spout of the lemonade, taking a big swig.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) August 14, 2019
Me: “Did you empty the dishwasher like I told you to??”
*continues to eat his cereal with a measuring spoon while drinking juice from a coffee mug.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) August 14, 2019
We’re pretty much at their beck and call 24/7… waiting.
86% of parenting teens is waiting in the car outside some practice or sporting event.
— Momma of Midgard (@MidgardMomma) November 15, 2017
Shopping with my teen daughter. If you need me, I'll be sitting right outside this dressing room, losing the will to live.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) May 29, 2017
And given the new terrain of social media, we’ve pretty much turned into our parents muttering things about “kids these days.”
Son, when I was a teenager, we didn't have to spend $2,000 on a sky-writer to ask a girl to prom.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) August 14, 2017
Why is it whenever I try to talk to my teenager he's staring at his phone but when I call him he doesn't answer…? Do I need to text? Help
— Claire Smith (@MinistryOfMum) March 29, 2016
My son’s phone is not recognizing his Face ID so please think of us during this difficult time.
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) September 2, 2019
College Application 2024
Explain how the following memes make you feel using the gifs provided.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 29, 2019
Yeah. Kids these days.