Her thread about women being “rude” to strange men quickly went viral
If you ever feel as a woman that no matter what you do you can’t win, you’re pretty much dead-on. If you’re nice to a man and he hurts you, well, why were you nice to him? Why didn’t you protect yourself? If you ignore a man who feels like a possible threat, you’ll be labeled a bitch, of course.
This viral Twitter thread and some of the replies perfectly nails that sad (and scary) reality.
Lily Evans took to Twitter recently to describe a scary encounter with a strange man while she was out walking her dog. Her first tweet reads, “Why some women are ‘rude’ or ‘cold’ or ‘standoffish’ to men in public: a thread.”
Evans was out one evening walking her dog and minding her own business when a man tried to make friends with her pet.
She thought their exchange had ended relatively easily, but he wasn’t finished yet.
Nothing about this is OK. Not one bit of it.
Haven’t we all had this panic before? This terrible walk or drive home praying we aren’t being followed? It’s the worst.
And the gross comments from strange men didn’t even stop there.
Evans’ frustration is familiar to so many of us. We try to be nice, even though we might be afraid, and then we’re reminded why sometimes, it’s safer to just be a bitch.
Her last reply absolutely nails it.
Of course, mansplainers of the internet chimed in to say why Evans was “wrong,” to blame for the incident, or even to accuse her of lying about her story.
And the classic, “not all men” argument.
Luckily, this hero shut it all down to prove exactly why women have the right to be afraid of rejecting men.
Evans tells Scary Mommy that even though the post definitely received some backlash, it also got a lot of kind responses and people who understood. “I kind of expected more to be honest,” she says of the negative reactions. “I think the people who got upset by my story missed the point, which was that anyone can be creepy or scary to a stranger, even if one’s intentions are totally pure.”
Of her tweets going viral, Evans says that was never her intention. “I didn’t do this for attention, I just wanted to make men understand that when they perceive a woman as being ‘rude’ for ignoring them in public, it’s not personal– we are just trying to stay safe.”
Evans tells us that her tweets have prompted other women to share their “harrowing” tales with her about their own similar experiences. “While I absolutely HATE the circumstances, I’m really glad that my story made so many people feel brave enough to share, and that it made so many people realize that they aren’t alone in their experiences,” she says. “And I think a lot of men will consider their actions more carefully in the future, which is all I really wanted to begin with.”
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