Waiting For Baby

by Erin Petron Gosser
Originally Published: 

Dear Lil’ One,

Hi! It’s me, your mommy. I can’t wait to meet you!

Your room is almost ready at our new house. We were sad to move out of the city, but we wanted to be sure that you and your brother would go to A+ schools. Now, we have a playroom, a huge yard, and four bedrooms for you, your brother, and possibly another sibling.

We’ve been anxiously waiting for you to grace us with your presence. What’s taking so long, baby?

Are you being considerate of other first time mom friends in our group? That’s kind of you, but everyone- EVERYONE- is either pregnant, or on baby #1 or #2. You should have seen our Christmas cards this December. Half of them were birth announcements! You won’t be stepping, er…crawling, on toes.

Are you trying to teach mommy a lesson: that patience truly is a virtue? I know. It’s not my strong suit. I’m great with your big brother, but throw me into a traffic jam or computer problems and I lose my cool.

Are you going to be exactly like me, taking forever to get somewhere? I’m a perennial slow poke. Grandma always teased me that I was the last student out the school doors.

Are you worried that we love your brother so much, that there won’t be room for you? Nonsense! My love for him does not diminish the desire to have you in my life. Nor does the desire to meet you diminish my love for your brother. The reason we want you as part of our family is because we love your big bro so much already, and we can’t wait to see the two of you grow up together.

Are you wondering if you being in my tummy will make me nauseous? We have three toilets in this house. I’d gladly bow down to the porcelain gods for you.

Are you thinking you’ll induce back pain? That’s what pre-natal yoga is for. I can’t wait to sign up!

Are you worried that I’ll be disappointed if you’re a boy (as I think you will be) and not a girl (as your father thinks you will be)? Lil’ man, I will welcome you with open arms. Plus, then I won’t have to learn how to wipe down.

You must know that I think about you all the time. Every day. More times in a day that I care to admit. I daydream about snuggling with you after nursing, watching you take your first steps, and fighting back tears on your first day of Kindergarten.

So, what’s taking so long? Why can’t I get pregnant?

Some days, I am terrified that your brother’s conception and birth was a miracle, and the reality of more children is not meant for me. Please prove those dark thoughts false. Please join our family. There is more than enough love to go around.

Your big brother will go to preschool in the fall. Grandpa asked me what I’ll do during that time. I’d love to spend it with you, but until then, I’ll be here…waiting.



Related post: Infertility Jealousy

This article was originally published on