10 Ways Moms Will Eventually Screw Up

by Susie Johnson
Originally Published: 

Last week was crazy. So crazy that on Friday I totally forgot to take everyone to Number 5 and 6’s art show at preschool. Oops.

A few kids ago I would have beat myself up over it. A few weeks ago I probably would have, too. But now I know better.

Because I will fuck up. And so will you. Multiple times. But your kids will survive.

In fact, chances are they won’t even remember.

So if you are beating yourself up… Stop.

You are not the first, and you won’t be the last.

All moms will, at some point, do at least one of the following things:

1. Forget about that tooth under the pillow. And if tonight happens to be your night, in the morning, remember that sometimes the Tooth Fairy leaves the money under the bed. They will get over it. Especially when the Tooth Fairy finally delivers. And yes, the Tooth Fairy has, at times, taken three days to show up.

2. Forget to pick her kid up. Your kid will survive. The people who want to go home and had to wait for you will be way more pissed than your kid is, anyway.

3. Totally miss a game because you brought your kid to the field at the wrong time. Your kid will hate you for a while for this one. Your kid will also survive.

4. Sign up to bring a snack for the class party and then completely forget to send it in. There is plenty of crap at a class party. They won’t even notice.

5. Skip the award banquet only to find out your child was supposed to receive the Most Awesome Kid in the History of Ever Award. Don’t worry. Once your kid gets the award, he won’t really care.

6. Miss the game where your kid scored the game winning run or shot or broke the school record. Hopefully someone got it on video.

7. Send your kid to school after he tells you he feels sick, and then pick him up an hour later after he pukes all over his classroom. At least you didn’t have to clean up the puke.

8. Forget to meet the bus after school and leave your kid stranded on the bus, alone, with the bus driver. After you do this 3 or 4 times, the bus driver starts to bring snacks for your kid.

9. Tell your daughter her arm is just bruised. And then finally go to the doctor and learn that she broke it. A week ago. The bright pink cast will make up for that.

10. Completely forget about the birthday party for that kid in her class. Be thankful for that. Those things suck anyway.

Related post: Shout Out to the World’s Okayest Moms

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