The worst parts about Christmas shopping for your kids?
1. They want all the things. You cannot possibly purchase all the things on an income less than that of Bill Gates.
2. You suffer with the cruel, cruel knowledge that whatever you buy will simply add to the vast amounts of clutter stuffing your house. You buy it, and you’ll clean it up.
4. You hate the Teenage Mutant Star Wars Anorexic Barbies. Your kid loves the Teenage Mutant Star Wars Anorexic Barbies. Your kid claims s/he will die without the Teenage Mutant Star Wars Anorexic Barbies Jumbo Party Bus Playset. It costs $59.95 plus tax.
5. Other people are also shopping for their kids. Other people are inevitably assholes.
6. You cannot escape the Christmas music. One more repetition of Merry Christmas (War is Over) and you might commit sepukku on the front steps of the Mall of America.
7. The Starbucks lines are inevitably, cruelly long, and the chick in front of you want some peppermint mocchino limited edition vanilla crush thing. You just want a double shot of espresso. Bitch.
8. You blew your babysitting budget… to go to Toys “R” Us.
9. It’s Christmas Eve, and who forgot the kids’ stocking stuffers? (You won’t remember your husband’s stocking stuffers til Christmas morning.)
10. You’re outside the store before you remember you’re out of one of the following:
• Wrapping paper • Scotch tape • Ribbon • Vodka
Related post: The 5 Worst Types Of Toys To Give Kids
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