I’m a fat girl. I’ve been fat my entire life. Being fat means that wherever I go, I carry the weight of other people’s assumptions about who I am, how I operate, what I eat, how much I move, and how I must feel about my own body.
Some people assume my size means I’m always on a diet because obviously I’m desperate to lose weight. Other people assume that all I do is eat cheeseburgers, and my “problem” could be solved by eating a salad, which I’d know if I had any clue about nutrition at all.
I’ve had people assume that I have never seen the inside of a gym. Others mock me for going and think it’s freaking hilarious to watch me huff and puff my way through a workout.
And you wouldn’t believe how many assumptions abound about fat women and sex.
Fat girls are often portrayed as sexual late bloomers, so ashamed of our bodies that we keep them hidden as long as possible. Other times, we are portrayed as sex-maniacs with no self-awareness, too dumb to recognize that the men around us don’t want us.
From my early teens, I’ve had men assume that I’d be easy because I’d be grateful for anyone who wanted to fuck me. Then again, there are the men who figure that I’m inexperienced because it’s hard to find partners. Nobody wants to screw a fat girl. Ew.
Every one of us has heard the stereotype that fat girls give good head. Because we are eager to put anything in our mouths, am I right??
When it comes to fat people, everyone has an opinion on who or what we must be, and half the time the stereotypes are polar opposites.
It’s maddening and irritating.
I’ve been with the same guy since I was eighteen. One and done. I’ve literally never made myself sexually available to another human being on planet earth. And yet, completely without my consent, I’ve been subject to men’s opinions of my fuckability or lack thereof since before my first period.
It’s like it’s open season on fat bodies 365 days a year.
“Hey, boys! Put your basic respect and human decency away and grab your slingshots! Load ‘em up with some fatphobic insults and body shame! The big giant fatties deserve all of our shitty opinions whenever we have a thought in our small minds!”
Since there are so many conflicting rumors swirling around about fat girls and sex, let’s just talk frankly about it, okay?
I’ve been fat every single time I’ve ever had sex in my entire life, and I know A LOT of fat girls. I have been asking around. I’ve gathered some juicy information, and I’m about to lay it on you.
As it turns out, every single stereotype about fat girls and sex is true — except the desperation parts.
Some of us were late bloomers. Lots of us have thrown ourselves at men who, in the end, didn’t deserve us. Some of us are totally into casual sex. A lot of us have literally no problem finding men who want in on all of this, but many of us do struggle to find partners who feel worthy to us.
And yeah, a lot of us do give amazing head, thank you very much.
As it turns out, fat girls’ experiences with sex are literally EXACTLY like everyone else’s.
We have dry spells, and times we can barely keep up. We have sex because we are lonely, and we have sex because we are in love, and we have sex because we just want to get off.
Whether a fat girl is having a good time with a casual fling or making love to a long-term partner, fun, flirty, sensual awesome sex is on the menu.
And, sure, there are assholes who will try to get with a fat girl just because they think it will be easy, and there are douchebags who will keep us a secret because they’re cowards who don’t want the world to know they’re into big girls.
But there are also PLENTY of people who just … like us, not for or despite our bodies. They like us for everything we are, they think we are hot, and they want to be with us, and the size of our bodies doesn’t change that at all.
If your idea of fat girl sex includes a timid, body-self-conscious fat woman laying on her back in the dark with a t-shirt on while a mediocre guy just kind of pounds away, you’re getting it wrong. If you think a lot of fat girls are just grateful for the attention, so we settle for lackluster, boring missionary sex, you’re wrong.
Also, if you imagine some kind of cartoonish zeal, where a stunned partner just sits there while a boisterous, clueless fat woman dances around like the woman who sings, “Still I think he’s rather tasty” to Aladdin, you’re also wrong. (BTW, her name is Mehrunisa. You go, Mehrunisa. Shoot your shot at that riff-raff street rat. You never know, girl.)
Anyway, want to know what fat girl sex is really like?
Imagine two people of your choice having sex. Doing all the sexy things that you enjoy. Now replace one of the people with a fat girl.
Okay, now you’re on the right track. We do allllll the things.
We get it on. We love to love you, baby. Our bodies are wonderlands. We ride that pony. We put our thangs down, flip it and reverse it. We don’t cook, we don’t clean, but let us tell you how we got these rings. Our sex is on fire.
(And our sex playlists are eclectic.)
The way fat people are cut out of the narrative when discussing healthy, exciting, amazing sex is literally stupid. It’s a bunch of bullshit perpetuated by Hollywood and the people who need us to buy into diet culture so they can keep making money off of our low self-esteem.
In real life, fat girls are out here getting ours, and our partners are begging for more. Great sex is for ALL bodies that want it, and fat girls are no exception.