Your Weekly Horoscope: December 4th

Your weekly horoscope is here, but this is no regular horoscope. It’s a horoscope for moms. Your astrologer, Nefertiti, is a mom too and she gets it. Brace yourselves. This week is a doozy. Subscribe to Scary Mommy: https://www.youtube.com/ScaryMommyTV.

ARIES: Reality is a scary thing to face and you don’t want to look it in the eye. Because reality is your family. Never look it in the eye. The minute you make eye contact, they suck up all your energy and steal your soul.

TAURUS: Just as soon as you taste success, something comes along to make you feel badly about it. Success, ice cream, chocolate, extra slice of pizza. Anytime you just try to taste something, anything, your kid or your partner or your mom just come along and spoil it. But don’t ever let go of your mommy time.

GEMINI: In order to maintain peace and harmony, you may wear many different masks, but you may forget your inner truth. Inner truth, inner shmooth. I don’t think anyone wants to know your inner truth. Think about it.

CANCER: The next task on your road to success may involve interacting with someone you don’t want to deal with. No problem there! Your entire day is interacting with someone you don’t want to deal with. You’re a pro at that.LEO: You’ll begin to feel the faintest hint of a major change beginning. This new phase may last several months. The faintest hint… like the faintest hint of food rotting in the fridge, but when you take a big whiff, you cannot find it, but then when you close the door, you smell it again. Where is it coming from?? This will go on for at least 3 months.

VIRGO: You will get inspiration from something that will center on the way you choose to fill your time. And the way you should fill it is watching that new Show, Watchmen. Regina King. Have you seen her arms?

LIBRA: It’s an excellent day for you! Although no major events occur today. No parent-teacher conference, no birthdays, no doctors appointments, no vet appointments, nothin! I know what I’m doing with my time.

SCORPIO: A slow liberation process is gathering momentum over the next few months for you. It’s your boobs. You’ve been freeing them from the bra. You think you don’t need it. You do, but you don’t care anymore. You just wear thicker sweaters because you think people can’t notice. Free the boob! Free the nip! Just don’t have a slip.

SAGITTARIUS: The gentle winds of change are blowing through your life at the moment. It’s the gentle wind of your dog passing gas and it’s because your kids never put their dishes away and guess who’s eating the leftovers? Bella. Bella the dog.

CAPRICORN: Your life is about to face a new turning point. This could be a new person or a key event. Whatever it is, turn away. You don’t need new people or new events in your life. Turn away… like J-Lo on a stripper pole in the movie, Hustler. Turn! Also, how does J-Lo do that?

AQUARIUS: It may be that you’ve come back deeply changed from a long voyage. A long voyage into the kitchen. What happened in there? You let them cook and now look. It’ll never be the same and neither will you. PISCES: If you feel like your romantic relationship is too traditional, then spice it up! Take control.

That’s it for Momscopes this week! I hope you have a peaceful and calm next week. Oh, who are we kidding? See you next time!

More about Momscopes: Momscopes is a horoscope for moms. Your astrologer, Nefertiti, is mom too and she gets it. She knows exactly what to predict in the lives of moms. You’re not going to read a horoscope on here that says you’re going on a spontaneous weekend getaway trip because that doesn’t happen to moms! This horoscope is the real deal.

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