Your Weekly Horoscope: January 1st

Your Weekly Horoscope: January 1st

by Team Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 

Your weekly horoscope is here, but this is no regular horoscope. It’s a horoscope for moms. Nefertiti is back for the new year. It might be a new year, but it’s the same old stuff. Now, let’s see what the start of the year holds for you. Follow Scary Mommy on YouTube:

ARIES – A holiday social event could put you in touch with an old friend you haven’t seen for a long time. And don’t want to see. That whole, “my texts aren’t going through,” isn’t going to work right now. Pretend you have a stomach issue. That’s what I do at all holiday events when I don’t want to talk.

TAURUS – You may have a lot of professional or personal emails that will flood your inbox. A lot of people could vie for your attention. Enjoy it. Let yourself have an ego boost. Oh hello, Staples. Hi Target. Oh, Dentist remembered my birthday. No email is spam when you don’t have much going on.

GEMINI – Whether you choose to write, make music, or paint pictures, you’ll notice a difference in your style. You know those movies where the teacher calls for an emergency appointment because the kid is drawing horror scenes in farms and castles? Well, let’s just say the stress is getting to you and your drawings are starting to look a little… messy.

CANCER – Is a member of your household away? You miss your housemate, but you also enjoy the solitude and the quiet. Ummm… yeah you do enjoy it!

LEO – A party could land you in the middle of a room full of writers, artists, and film makers. It’s called the holiday school party. The writers? Mom bloggers. The “artists?” The art teacher. The film makers? The VSCO girls.

VIRGO – If you’ve been reading about health and fitness, today you might suddenly feel the results of your efforts. Exhaustion! From doing all that reading. Reading tires me out.

LIBRA – You look especially attractive today. Now, own it. SCORPIO – You’ll have an interesting conversation this week that will really impact you. But you’ll immediately forget who you had it with and what it was about because… life.

SAGITTARIUS – Group activities and other social events should keep you pretty busy. Well, yeah, it’s the holidays. Why all the activities people? Can’t we just celebrate and enjoy in solitude? I like my holidays like I like my bathroom time — alone.

CAPRICORN – Your sensitive nature is attractive. People who come to you for advice and guidance aren’t disappointed. You should put that on your dating profile — very attractive nature. Attractive nature is like saying you have a sexy personality.

AQUARIUS – You may feel like you’re riding a fast train to nowhere. Your days zoom by and your like, what the hell just happened? Get off that train. Take a detour. I just hid in our basement for 30 minutes and you know what? It was disgusting, but spiders are kind of fun to talk to. (looks down – is that my spider? Bobby?)

PISCES – You may feel like a snail emerging from its shell. When no one is looking, you slowly and cautiously stick your head out and put up your antennae to take a reading on the outside world. And then put your head right back in that shell. You need something? You find it! I’m listening to my podcast. Erotic fiction. Oh no he didn’t…

And that is another episode of Momscopes with Nefertiti. Remember to be positive, bright and shine like the stars in your moon beam. See you next week.

More about Momscopes: Momscopes is a horoscope for moms. Your astrologer, Nefertiti, is mom too and she gets it. She knows exactly what to predict in the lives of moms. You’re not going to read a horoscope on here that says you’re going on a spontaneous weekend getaway trip because that doesn’t happen to moms! This horoscope is the real deal.

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