Tell Your Friend Who Thinks He Can 'Win' Some Of Zuckerberg's Facebook Shares To Stop Being An Idiot

Newest Facebook hoax convinces users they can ‘win’ some of Zuckerberg’s shares

No, the latest “copy and paste this status update” trend on Facebook is not real. I can’t believe we still have to say this. Mark Zuckerberg will not be giving away 10% of his Facebook shares to 1000 Facebook users. Here’s a tip: if something on Facebook says “this is not a hoax” it’s 100% for sure a hoax. I just saved you a few seconds of copying and pasting.

Apparently, the hoax began after Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan’s baby announcement, around the same time they announced plans to donate $45 billion worth of Facebook shares to charity. Shortly after, updates like this began to appear:

No one has confirmed who started the hoax, but Facebook weighed in on the legitimacy of it:

Facebook itself is making fun of the trend of copying and pasting status updates. While we’re on the subject, can we just stop the trend of imploring people to copy and paste posts you didn’t even write? It’s the internet version of being stopped in the street to sign a petition. Most of those petitions are totally worth signing, but maybe you don’t want to talk to random strangers on the street 24/7, or be made to feel like shit for not accepting a PETA pamphlet. In the street, it’s phrases like, “Do you have a minute for animal rights?” What the hell are you supposed to say to that. No? No, I don’t have a minute for animal rights. You’re a monster if you say that. They trick you! They frame it so you simply can’t walk away without feeling like shit. And those damn status updates on Facebook do the same thing.

May I ask my friends wherever you might be, to kindly post this status for one hour to give a moment of support to all those who have family problems, health struggles, job issues, worries of any kind and just need to know that someone cares?

No. No you may not. That’s what you’re thinking, isn’t it? But you can’t say that because you’d be the biggest asshole in existence, so instead you have to just pretend you didn’t see it. Which is even worse because you know five minutes later you’re going to make a status-update joke about needing coffee or something and your friend who’s trying to save the world through a few typed sentences of empathy is going to realize what a giant jerk you are.

No one’s getting rich off of copying and pasting a status update on Facebook. No one’s solving any problems by doing it either. It’s like those photos that implore you to “like” if you want to save the dolphins (or whatever). Liking a Facebook post isn’t saving anything. Are we all clear about that? And ignoring a Facebook plea doesn’t make you a horrible person, it just makes you someone who realizes if everyone got suckered into those things we’d just be reading them all day long, ad infinitum.

I certainly don’t need Facebook to magically make my financial woes disappear. I have an email buddy that happens to be a Nigerian prince who’s taking care of that.