15 Things That Suck About Breastfeeding

by Kimberly McLeod
Originally Published: 

I had a pretty hard time establishing breastfeeding. I feel like this gives me a pretty good reason to complain about it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad we’re still breastfeeding, but it hasn’t been easy. And yes, I’m sure there are probably 100 reasons why breastfeeding is so great and beneficial for the baby, but what people don’t tell you are the things that just plain suck about breastfeeding.

I was one of those naive first time moms that thought it was going to be simple. I mean, you just pop them on the boob and you’re good to go right? Wrong. It’s hard. If you feel like you’re the only one not enjoying it, here’s what I found to be the worst parts about it…

1. Tennis ball in a tube sock boobs. Pancake boobs. Call ‘em what you will, we’ve all got ‘em. And they are here to stay.

2. Still. Getting up. In the Middle. Of the night.

3. Biting. I didn’t know it was possible to scream that loud when I was accidentally bitten. OUCH.

4. Mastitis or Blocked Ducts. You will consider amputating your boob. Don’t do it.

5. Trying to find a private place. Is your baby not the easiest to latch on without flashing the world? How about preferring not to have a blanket over his head? If you like to get some privacy like me, then you know it’s almost impossible to find a private place in a public area. You usually end up on a couch in the stinky bathroom. Ew.

6. Leaking boobs. You’ve taken the wet t-shirt contest to a whole new level.

7. Feeling like a cow. Did you ever think your nipples could stretch that far into a pump before?

8. Engorged boobs. Cabbage leaves are your new best friend.

9. The lies that you won’t get your period. You probably will.

10. The lies that the baby weight will just ‘melt off’. It probably won’t.

11. Sore nipples.

12. Feeling like you can’t dress stylish any more. Because you are more concerned about access to your boobs than how you look.

13. Porn star boobs. This may be a benefit to some, but to most it’s a can’t-fit-in-my-shirt or bra-doesn’t-come-in-that-size inconvenience.

14. Being the only food supply. It would be nice if Daddy could take over a feed too, you know? How about the one in the middle of the night?

15. Still not being able to drink after 9 months. You thought after 9 alcohol-free months you could finally enjoy a night out with your favorite wine bottle? Think again. Sure a glass here and there, but you’re really not wine-country-free yet.

Related post: 10 (Mildly Shallow) Reasons To Breastfeed

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