There are a few things that moms can’t live without: reliable babysitters, stretchy pants, and our retail oasis known as Target. We’re drawn to that red bullseye like moths to a flame.
Some of us have even considered moving in or at least getting “accidentally locked in” overnight. After all, it has every item we could ever want, it’s affordable, and it even has a Starbucks.
But our obsession can escalate quickly. I don’t want to brag, but I can turn an errand for laundry detergent into a $300 shopping trip. Multiply that by several trips a week and we suddenly understand why we want to move in: We practically pay rent there already.
But at least the funny people of Twitter understand our obsession:
Hey guys, if your wife says she's at home doing laundry, she's lying. She's at Target, they're all at Target, literally right this minute.
— BornHusky (@dlockw21) December 16, 2015
Never underestimate the value of Target therapy:
Time heals all but so does a bottle of wine and shopping spree at Target.
— PrettyInPink (@kcatwalk1) July 10, 2016
For anything, really:
bored? go to target. hungry? go to target. depressed? go to target. stressed? go to target.
— teresa (@IoIteresa) October 23, 2017
You don’t actually need to need anything in order to go there:
No one goes to target because they need something. You go to target and let target tell you what you need.
— haley (@haley_copeland) January 31, 2018
Especially when you’re lucky enough to shop alone:
The bad part about going to Target by yourself on a Saturday night is…
…absolutely nothing. It’s one of the world’s purest joys.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) November 5, 2017
There’s literally nothing better:
Husband: Just go to Target by yourself. I'll put the kids to bed.
— Karen Johnson (@21stcenturysahm) July 15, 2016
And partners who understand that are few and far between:
When I'm stressed or upset my husband says "Do you need to go to Target?" And that's how I know I married the right man.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) October 29, 2017
In fact, Target may even help you define your relationship #goals:
I overheard a guy saying to his girlfriend "are you ready to fucking rage" as they walked into target together and that's what I want
— k8e (@kpfeffss) June 25, 2017
It also makes a good date night.
Wife had a bunch of rum drinks tonight and we somehow ended up at Target pic.twitter.com/kM0OxcA7No
— Bottlerocket (@bottlerocket) July 26, 2017
I don’t understand why men don’t just go there to look for women:
Why do guys go to bars to meet women? Go to Target. There's like 10 women to each man and they're already there looking for things they don't need.
— karmaXo (@Exkarma) March 20, 2018
Even though the novelty eventually wears off:
Me after a trip at target with the wife pic.twitter.com/KB3nALJNeF
— Khoa (@khoa_nguyen) October 9, 2017
And eventually our kids get it, too:
My 3-year-old: I wish we could just live here at Target.
Me: *welling up with tears* I know, baby, I know.
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) September 1, 2017
We’re realistic about what we’re getting ourselves into with every shopping trip:
Me at Target the day after payday pic.twitter.com/3GOnHKRcwF
— Knoxville Pains (@KnoxvillePains) April 9, 2016
Even though we know we’ll spend it on things we don’t need…or want even:
My wife hates snakes. But if they sold snakes at Target, we'd probably have a few snakes.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) July 28, 2017
We always wrestle with buyer’s remorse when we start checking out:
target cashier: did you find everything okay?
*me unloading a full cart*
first of all, i came here for dish soap & i didn't even get it
— Amanda Luna (@amanduhluna) October 22, 2017
And no matter who’s with you, there is no escape from the RedCard:
Me: *Has screaming children hanging off every limb*
Target cashier: "Have you heard about our REDcard?"
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) August 23, 2017
And even when you know what you spent, hearing that total can sting a little:
They don’t even let you leave with any dignity:
I hate it when the cashier at target says "see you again soon!" Like, bitch, you're not wrong, but did you have to say it
— Draka (@drakamae) October 13, 2017
But you’ll be happy. It even made this dog happy:
MY DOG WENT TO TARGET AND LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE IS pic.twitter.com/Cdt2s2aI3p
— zira’s mom (@virgoprincxss) January 3, 2018
Whether you’re alone, with your partner, or with a group of friends, the therapeutic rush of serotonin from a trip to Target can’t be denied. Life is short. Shop that clearance rack while you get your latte on. You deserve it, mama. Treat yo’ self.