Most people who like sauce like a lot of sauce. Same thing goes for other things like dips, cheeses, and a favorite beverage.
I don’t just want one Diet Coke, I’d like three. And there have been many times I’ve been accused of “scooping” my chip instead of dipping it. Whatever.
Things that are good make our brains do a happy dance which will lead to us wanting more of those things and I, for one, promote this kind of lifestyle.
Now, orgasms are no different. We can have a so-so orgasm, or we can experience a full-bodied orgasm that can leave us speechless and like we can’t blink for a solid two minutes as we replay the deliciousness in our minds.
I learned a trick a few years ago by accident: I had a semi-full bladder and got caught up in the moment and didn’t want to stop to go take a tinkle. There’s something about receiving oral pleasure that makes me put all things aside.
Anyway, what happened in about two minutes was the most intense orgasm I ever had in my life. Of course I had to go to The Googles and see if it was because I had to take a leak. I found the answer is yes, a “pee-gasm” does exist and feels so amazing because everything on a woman or person with a vagina is very close together, so a full bladder can add pressure (and pleasure) during an orgasm.
However, it’s not the healthiest thing for your innards so I had to stop drinking a gallon of water before sexy time.
But the good news is, we’ve done some digging for you — Scary Mommy talked with Katherine Winnick, Certified Sex Educator and Sex Coach for LetsTalkSex.net who shared some fantastic (and very easy) tips to help us really blast off.
1. How about them balls?
Have you tried Kegel balls? They are often prescribed to women after they give birth, to help them tone back their pelvic floor. You don’t need to use them for this reason only though, says Winnick. “A toned pelvic floor means stronger orgasmic contractions.”
Who doesn’t want that? This sounds like a great way to multitask — better sessions and a toned pelvic floor.
Just be sure to pick glass, stainless steel, or silicone balls. “As long as the material is non-porous you will be good to go,” says Winnick.
It’s also advisable to speak to your healthcare provider or a pelvic floor therapist before trying a Kegel ball, especially if you have a prolapse or other pelvic floor issue. And really, any kind of pelvic floor strengthening you consider doing is awesome, and can help increase the intensity of your orgasm.
2. Just breathe.
Breathing pleasure is something you can incorporate during sex and no you don’t need any experience in meditation or previous breathing exercises. “First, start by focusing on the sensations in your body; the heat or your partner’s hands on your skin for example. Then, let these sensations overtake you and start breathing into them,” says Winnick.
This will increase the intensity and force you to be present in the moment which makes everything (including the rise to crescendo) feel more intense.
3. Get out of that rut already.
Do you feel like you are doing the missionary position robot-style? Do you find you skip the foreplay in order to save time and energy? Have you and your partner stopped being spontaneous and only get it on every other Tuesday night?
If this is the case and your orgasms have stopped being measured on your own personal richter scale, then the solution isn’t as hard as you think — break up that routine, baby.
Winnick says things like trying a new position, having sex in a different place, surprising your partner by jumping in the shower, or purchasing a toy is all your have to do to make sex feel exciting again, which can result in a better orgasm for both of you.
4. And speaking of toys…
Inserting a toy, using one on your clitoris during sex, or trying a cock ring can really intensify an orgasm. If a buzzing friend isn’t something you’re into, why not try a blindfold or handcuffs to make things feel a bit dangerous? All consensually, of course — both parties have to be down with it, or nobody’s going to see stars.
5. Don’t skimp on the cuddles.
Did you know that oxytocin makes our orgasms more intense? And, did you also know that a good snuggle can increase that natural hormone? “By cuddling for longer before sex, you will make your orgasms a bit stronger,” says Winnick.
A word of advice though — don’t get too comfortable while you’re spooning. or you’ll be off to dreamland and miss the whole damn point of the exercise. Just a little extra embracing before you do the deed will get the job done.
Getting your rocks off with a little more intensity doesn’t have to involve anything you aren’t comfortable doing. It can be simple, fun, and make you and your partner’s bond closer than ever.
Honestly, if there’s something we want to improve about our sex lives, shouldn’t having better orgasms be at the top of the list?
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