Sex is fun and we like doing it for (a few) reasons other than having an orgasm, but let’s face it, it’s better if we all get ours. Most of us learn what makes us tick as we go, which is fun and all, but there is so much to soak up when it comes to getting your cake frosted, why not brush up all the ways our precious pearl operates?
When something feels as amazing as an orgasm, imagine if you could perfect your next blast with a little knowledge about how the female body works. I mean, if you were eating crackers and your favorite cheese was sitting there within reach to make the experience that much better, wouldn’t your put forth the effort to get off your ass and reach for it? I thought so.
1. It’s all about the clit.
First, it’s important to know about 75 % of women do not orgasm during sexual intercourse alone. If you are in this category, don’t think there is a thing wrong with you. In order to have the Big O, you need clitoral stimulation, and a lot of us aren’t built to get that stimulation through intercourse alone — it’s how our bodies are made, and most women have a clitoris that’s just a bit too far away from their vaginal opening to be stimulated at the same time. We need fingers or a vibrator to help get the job done.
Don’t be shy about asking for what you need, whether you want to orgasm during intercourse, after, or both. Also, they make vibrators with separate clitoral stimulation for a reason, and they are fantastic. Get one, seriously.
2. Let’s go hunting.
If the clit is where the party happens, you should know where yours is. It can be hard to locate this complex creature and many go searching and come up dry. But rest assured, you do have one, and it’s much easier to locate if you are aroused.
Mirrors are always good here, so pull one out. And you are thinking you “just can’t,” don’t be so shy — this is your beautiful body and you owe it to yourself to find out where those waves of pleasure are coming from. In fact, every erogenous zone on your body is connected to your clitoris.
Using a mirror, check yourself out. What we are actually looking for is the glans clitoris, which is hidden under a “hood” until we become aroused. Using a vibrator or your hands, begin to stimulate yourself and your clitoris may peek under the hood and come out to play.
The more aroused you are, the more it swells. Even if you can’t see your clitoris, you can probably place it by doing this exercise and taking note of where you feel most stimulated by rubbing around your jewels. Now, the next time you want to get your rocks off, you’ll know exactly where to go, or direct.
3. Not all orgasms are the same.
Ever have a mind-blowing orgasm and think, I want it to be like that every single time? I’m with ya. But the truth is, we all have different types of orgasms that range from lots of mini-orgasms that come right after the other, to longer, fuller orgasms that take us to another dimension. Variety is good, especially when it comes to orgasms.
4. Orgasms can relieve pain.
My favorite way to relieve menstrual cramps or a headache is through an orgasm. It’s proven that a good release through your clitoris is the best way to release oxytocin, which is our bodies natural pain reliever. Don’t grab the Advil the next time you aren’t feeling so hot — grab your partner or a favorite toy from your tickle trunk instead.
5. Orgasms aren’t just for sexy time.
You can orgasm in your sleep too. That’s right, wet dreams aren’t just for folks with a penis. According to an article on Lehmiller.com, about 37% of women have had this experience. And if you think that sounds fun, how about having an orgasm while at the gym? It’s a thing, and if you are a person with a vagina, you may be lucky enough to experience an orgasm while doing core exercises or lifting weights.
When you want to get better at cooking, running, or a foreign language you practice and study until you get the results you want, right? The same should be true for when you are jilling off, or someone else is handling your coin purse.
The more you know, the better you’ll be able to jet your juice — which is super important. Because life is too short for mediocre orgasms.