11 Things Your Baby Monitor Would Say If It Could Talk

MartinPrescott / Getty Images

There’s your regular momming and then those dead of night hours. You know, when you’re up and down, down and up; pulling out your boob, or sitting in the glider with a bottle in your hand looking like a fresh undead zombie going, What day is this again? Welcome to the “Mom Shift” when moms are doing ALL the things that no one actually sees except, well, moms in the middle of the night.

And there’s a pretty good chance the baby monitor serves as a kind of second alarm to the beginning of that Mom Shift. We asked the Scary Mommy community, “If your baby monitor could talk, what would it say?” and Scary Mommies let it rip. Here’s 11 of our favorites.

1. Your baby monitor would swear like a lady.

2. And troll you with humblebrags.

3. But totes wants to know that your baby is OK. Like, emotionally.

4. Because the feels come out at night. A vast range of them.

5. But your monitor is not above messing with you in creepy AF ways that give you the horror movie heebies.

6. Or thinks it’s your Twitter feed and what you really need in this life is a by-the-second scroll of updates.

7. When what your monitor does best is blast this kind of alarm:

8. Even when you’re pretty much over it, the monitor lets you know what’s what.

9. While dropping shade on your needy tiny human.

10. Which means you’re both in agreement that sometimes you just gotta do you, first.

11. DANG IT.

Beech-Nut® recognizes The Mom Shift never ends, even when the rest of the world sleeps. Sometimes only you, your baby, and your baby monitor know the true tales of this Mom Shift. Happy Mother’s Day to all moms, working #TheMomShift #24Seven.