“You’re so basic.”
To some people, being called “basic” is an insult. But I love it. If you call me basic, I appreciate the fuck out of you because you’re seeing me for who I am. I have taken those “how basic are you?” type quizzes and I always pass with flying colors. Basic is an identifier that I use just as proudly as black or queer. And yup, I’m black. Because basic transcends race. It’s kind of magical like that.
Here’s the thing though, a lot of people begin to talk shit about people like me and my basic bitch brothers and sisters. You’ll see a million people complaining about pumpkin spice lattes or trashing chain restaurants like it’s their job or something. It seems that in the last few years, as basic has become more mainstream, people really have come out with their hatred for anything that is even remotely basic.
Why can’t we enjoy what we enjoy? Isn’t that the greatest thing about being people — our right to like what we like?
Look, there are plenty of things that I dislike or don’t understand. I don’t get most of geek culture. But just because I don’t like Star Wars doesn’t mean I’m gonna spend time posting on social media about how it’s garbage. (Please don’t attack me for not liking Star Wars. I tried, it’s just not for me.) Why can’t we just shut the fuck up about stuff we dislike? Why must be always shit on each other and stomp out the lighthearted things? I am basic as fuck, and I will defend this list of things that make me basic with my life.
I love summer, don’t get me wrong. But there is nothing like an early fall day. The crispness in the air, that first night you have to sleep with a blanket on the bed, the sign of the leaves changing color. This time of year really makes me miss living on the east coast. Pass me an infinity scarf.
2. Pumpkin Spice Anything
Of course, the PSL (pumpkin spice latte) is the Queen of all things pumpkin spice. But let’s face it, if it says “pumpkin spice” anywhere on the label, there’s a 95% chance I’m buying it.
3. Scented Candles
There are literally hundreds of different scents for you to have in a candle. I’m personally partial to mild florals, clean laundry, spicy aromatics, and pine. I basically want it to smell like I’m outside all the time.
They may be ugly to some, but these shoes are multi-purpose. They’re comfy AF, and they keep your feet warm. They come in dozens of designs, heights and colors now, so you can get multiple pairs for multiple occasions. Just don’t wear them in the rain or snow.
Preferably black ones with a yoga top. But yes, leggings are life. So comfy and they are super versatile — you can dress them up or down, wear them at home or the office. We basic bitches live in our leggings.
Brunch is a basic bitch’s favorite meal of the day. Especially if there is avocado toast and bottomless mimosas. And if you didn’t Instagram it, did it even happen? Um, obviously not.
You may call it frozen yogurt, but I call it love it in a cup. Fro-yo is a delicious palate cleanser in a way ice cream just isn’t. I personally prefer tart to sweet, and then I load it down with fruit and cereal toppings (putting Cap’n Crunch on your fro-yo reduces the amount of times it cuts the roof of your mouth.)
8. These phrases
If you’ve ever uttered the words “I can’t even,” “totes,” or you use “literally” figuratively, congrats boo, you’re in the basic club too.
9. Taylor Swift
Tay Tay is pretty much the patron saint of basic bitches. And we live for it. Reputation has been in heavy rotation since it dropped, and you can’t tell me that “22” isn’t a fucking bop.
Obviously, this isn’t authentic Mexican food, but it’s freaking delicious. Pass the chips and guac, and yes, I know it’s 50 cents extra.
Of course, this is such a short list of all the things that make us basic bitches basic. But it’s a good introduction. And again, just because I love this stuff doesn’t mean that boring or dull. We all have our things, let’s let people enjoy them, huh? Stop sucking the joy out of everything.
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