'Belfies' AKA Bare-Butt Selfies Are A Thing Now

Image Chris Broadbent

I really do enjoy the bare necessities in life, but lately I have found plain old pictures of landscapes to be quite boring, and apparently I am not alone. With almost 200,000 followers on Instagram, Cheeky Exploits is making it very clear: People are getting excited about looking at the junk in other people’s trunks.

But why stop at just looking at other people’s full moons when you can air out your own backdoor and feel the delightful breezes ride up your juicy double and then post that shit on the internet complete with a hashtag? The contrast of your money maker against some rugged terrain, or crashing waves, only enhances the scenery and turns a boring old day of hiking into the perfect opportunity to stop, drop, and booty pop.

Who the hell needs britches anyway? As far as I’m concerned, our toddlers got it right with their pants-free leash on life. Why not come unhinged and show the world your full moon as you are basking in the sunlight hanging over a palm tree?

Belfies are the latest trend. They are hot, and it looks like they here to stay until the tail end. (I literally can’t stop with the butt jokes. Sorry.)

The next time you are visiting your favorite hiking trail, a magical mountain by the ocean, or a castle made for only the richest of ass cheeks, and you have the urge to embrace you inner plumber and show some ass cleavage, do it! Just please watch out for pointy things and flying debris and children. We can all agree practicing safe belfies is of the utmost importance, I think.

I can’t figure out if the placement of this stick was intentional or not, but it is a perfect example of how you can be daring and showcase your artistry with your very own badonkadonk and get creative, I would just stay away from cactuses, pinecones, and other things with needles. Also, make sure you are familiar with poison oak, ivy, and other things that could result in a very unfortunate rash.

Don’t even try to crack the code and figure out why people are doing this. Not everything needs a reason, after all. If you’re feeling it, just give in and flash your tail feather. Even if you have to have a bottle of red before baring that booty (like our fabulously brave and beautiful staff writer Elizabeth in the featured photo), you only live once; I say free the damn cheeks.

I’ll show you my belfie, if you show me yours.