Bride-to-be calls out trainer who body-shamed her
If you’re a woman who happens to move through the world with a little more weight than society thinks is “okay,” you’ve probably experienced body shaming at one time or another. For some reason, many people feel entitled to comment on the way we look — even though we never asked their damn opinion, or care what it may be.
Cassie Young, a newly-engaged radio host in Atlanta recently received a very “helpful” text from a fitness trainer, in regards to her upcoming nuptials. She shared the exchanged on her social media channels, because it’s truly amazing.
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This guy reached out to me on Twitter with a pitch, and it spiraled into something else. I’m posting this because I want every woman and man to know that it does not MATTER what you look like. (I'm blue. He's gray. Swipe to read.) You are worthy. Love is out there for you. Life is waiting with open arms. It doesn’t matter if you’re skinny or fat or between the two or willowy or broad shouldered or peer shaped or like a board or anything in between. You get good stuff in life by being YOU. That's what matters. If you think of life as a “game” with being skinny as how you “win,” this guy is offering to play by the rules and get you there. I’m telling you the game is BOGUS. You don’t need the game. I reject the game. I REFUSE TO PLAY. It’s a fake construct that you can step outside of. Your inner-value and self-worth comes from YOU, not what you look like. Who gives a f**k if you got a few extra pounds. Or ten. Or twenty. Thirty. Whatever. If you are happy and healthy, that’s ALL that matters. Those pounds DO 👏NOT 👏DEFINE 👏YOU 👏OR 👏YOUR 👏WORTH. Don’t let people like this try to convince you otherwise, because they’ll try – but it’s because they don’t understand yet. They’re caught up in the game and can’t see it for what it is. You can. Life is waiting for you. It's too short to be spent worrying about a belly roll. Go be happy and live it to your fullest.
“This guy reached out to me on Twitter with a pitch, and it spiraled into something else,” she begins her post, describing the exchange. “I’m posting this because I want every woman and man to know that it does not MATTER what you look like. In the above exchange, the trainer is in grey, and Young’s remarks are in blue.
“Congratulations on your engagement,” the trainer benignly begins. “Hire me to get you in shape for your wedding.”
Record scratch. Say what?
“I am in shape! Thank you so much for your offer, though,” Young replies, which is a way nicer response than he deserved. But, he doubles down on an asshole with his next text.
“I know you want to look your best on your wedding day,” total stranger trainer who does not even know her replies. “If you don’t hire me, hire someone. Those pictures lasts [sic] centuries. You want your best you.”
This last text makes me want to go all mother-of-dragons on a trainer. It really does. Who the hell does this guy think he is? Young somehow completely maintained her composure and responded.
“I know it’s probably hard for you to understand this, but it’s taken me a long time to love my body. I’m constantly shamed or reminded that I’m heavy and I should be embarrassed — or people are embarrassed for me — or just straight up rude, calling me ‘disgusting.’ I’ve battled past all that and like how I look,” she wrote.
“I’ve worked really hard at accepting my self-worth and disassociating the idea that my weight is a direct correlation to my value as a person or how much people will like me. And I found someone who loves me no holds barred — just the way I am, thus proving that true.”
The myth that our worth is directly related to the size of our waistlines is exhausting. It certainly isn’t true. And how dare a professional in a field that is supposed to be about health make such wild assumptions — and frankly, be so goddamn rude.
No woman needs random douchebag trainer reminding her that she will be judged by her weight. We’re reminded every day. And freedom is finally being able to transcend that and appreciate ourselves for who we are — something Young has achieved.
But jerk trainer doesn’t stop.
Next he says, “You can accept how you look, but you can’t be happy with the way you look. You can’t lie to yourself.” Oh thanks, RANDOM MAN ON THE INTERNET. She somehow managed to deflect his nonsense for three more texts. You can scroll through the entire conversation in the Instagram post above.
Young posted an update to the trainer drama on her Instagram account today.
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👈👈👈 HATERS TO THE LEFT. I’ll be honest, yesterday the trolls got to me for a hot minute. Their comments didn’t hurt my feelings so much as stole my faith in the world. I was shocked that people could be SO cruel and SO nasty, and I wondered why we should even bother about fighting against this cold, biter, heartless Army Of The Dead. . And then you reached out. And you. And you and you and you. You told me your stories of ordering your first two piece. Your battles with eating disorders and self-acceptance. The struggle with loss in your family and weight gain because of depression and how you battle it every day, head held high. Or going into the water in a bathing suit to play with your kids and make memories for the first time instead of hiding under a beach towel. Or stories of your kids, who see the world through innocent, honest eyes, and don’t get what the problem with being overweight is (because to them there is no problem.) Or the heartbreaking stories of how you or your daughters or sisters were on the precipice, and all they needed to realize was that fat is literally just an adjective, and not a judgment on who they are as a person, and now they’re getting married. . Thank you guys. You drowned out the trolls. You checked on me to make sure I was ok. You slammed the haters and showed me the light again. Texts, Tweets, Emails, DMs, Facebook Messages. There’s not even a comparison to the level of love I have seen on the internet from @TheBertShow community – my radio family – and from absolute strangers. . If you are struggling, know we are out there. Not only the outspoken protestors, but also the silent allies. We will stand tall with you and we will win this fight. I promise you. . EVERY body is beautiful. . This photo is for you, trolls. Eat your ❤️ out. . . . #EffYourBeautyStandards #EffYourBodyStandards #MYPerfectBody #LoveYourBody #IAmWhoIAm #HatersGonnaHate #BodyPositivity #LoseHateNotWeight #LoveYourself #BodyPositivity #EverybodyIsBeautiful #HealthIsWealth #SelfLove #HonorMyCurves #CelebrateMySize #TheRealMe #BBW #SelfAcceptance #RealBeauty #IAmGoodEnough #IAmWorthy #LookWhatYouMadeMeDo #AllTheHashtagsBecauseThisIsImportant 📷: @ownboudoir
Fat-shaming trolls must have descended on her various posts, because she admits that they go to her a little. “Their comments didn’t hurt my feelings so much as stole my faith in the world. I was shocked that people could be SO cruel and SO nasty, and I wondered why we should even bother about fighting against this cold, biter, heartless Army Of The Dead,” she wrote. But she also acknowledged that the positive comments that flowed in help extinguish the nastiness.
“It doesn’t matter if you’re skinny or fat or between the two or willowy or broad shouldered or peer shaped or like a board or anything in between. You get good stuff in life by being YOU. That’s what matters.”