55+ Memorable 'Clueless' Quotes That Will Bring You Back to the '90s

‘As If!’ 55+ Of The Best ‘Clueless’ Quotes That Will Bring You Back to the ’90s

clueless quotes
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Whether you grew up in the ’90s or discovered the gem that is Clueless on Netflix, you’ve probably caught yourself quoting from the classic 1995 flick more than once. Almost 20 years after Cher and her best friends, Dionne and Tai, hit the big screen, pop culture is still referencing the movie that made Alicia Silverstone and the words, “As if!” super famous. And it’s no wonder: just like the movie’s cool style, the quotes are not only a nostalgic nod to the ’90s but are still totally relatable. For all the Bettys out there, we rounded up the best Clueless quotes.

  1. “Ugh, as if!” – Cher Horowitz
  2. “Cher’s saving herself for Luke Perry.” — Dionne Davenport
  3. “You’re a virgin who can’t drive.” – Tai Frasier
  4. “She could be a farmer in those clothes.” – Amber
  5. “Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you.” — Melvin “Mel” Horowitz
  6. “He’s a disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde-reading, Streisand ticket-holding friend of Dorothy, know what I’m saying?” — Murray Duval
  7. “Suddenly a dark cloud settled over first period… I got a C in debate?” — Cher
  8. “That was way harsh, Tai.” – Cher
  9. “I was just totally clueless.” — Cher
  10. “Oh my god, I am totally buggin’.” – Cher

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    Paramount Pictures
  11. “Murray, I have asked you repeatedly not to call me ‘woman.’” – Dionne
  12. “Whatever.” – Amber
  13. “Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there’s no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value.” — Cher
  14. “Do you prefer fashion victim or ensembly challenged?” – Cher
  15. “She’s my friend because we both know what it’s like to have people be jealous of us.” – Cher
  16. (in regards to losing her virginity) “You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet.” — Cher
  17. “Phat!” – Dionne
  18. “I feel like such a bonehead.” – Cher
  19. “Where’s my white collarless shirt from Fred Segal? It’s my most capable looking outfit!” – Cher
  20. “Rollin’ with the homies.” – Tai
  21. “I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies.” – Cher
  22. “Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex. And anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good.” — Cher
  23. “You are a snob and a half.” – Cher
  24. “Dude, what’s wrong. You suffering from buyers remorse or something?” – Dionne
  25. “I’m not a prude, I’m just highly selective.” – CherRelated: These Classic ‘Friends’ Quotes Will Have You Saying “How You Doin’”
  26. “Isn’t my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972.” — Cher
  27. “I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonalds who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I might never be tardy.” — Travis Birkenstock
  28. “OK, so he is kind of a Baldwin.” – Cher
  29. “I am totally butt crazy in love with Josh.” – Cher
  30. “Cher, I don’t want to do this anymore. And my buns, they don’t feel nothin’ like steel.” — Tai
  31. “Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.”— Cher
  32. “Everything I think and everything I do is wrong.” – Cher
  33. “So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so.” — Cher
  34. “I do not wear polyester hair, okay? Unlike some people I know, like Shawana.” – Dionne
  35. “Oh, that’s good. You don’t want to be the last one at the coffee house without chin pubes.” – Cher
  36. “Dionne and I were both named after great singers of the past who now do infomercials.” – Cher
  37. “Christian said he’d call the next day, but in boy time that meant Thursday.” — Cher

    clueless quotes
    Paramount Pictures
  38. “I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M’s and like 3 pieces of licorice.” — Cher
  39. “Old people can be so sweet.” – Cher
  40. “Okay, so you’re probably going, ‘Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?’ But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl.” — Cher
  41. “It’s like that book I read in the 9th grade that said, ‘Tis a far, far better thing doing stuff for other people.'” — Cher
  42. “My plastic surgeon doesn’t want me doing any activity where balls are flying at my nose.” – Amber
  43. “I don’t get it. Did my hair get flat? Did I stumble into some bad lighting? What’s wrong with me?” – Cher
  44. “Wasn’t my mom a total Betty? She died when I was young. A freak accident during a routine liposuction.” — Cher
  45. “If I’m too good for him, then how come I’m not with him?” – Tai
  46. “Loadies generally hang on the grassy knoll over there.” – Cher
  47. “That’s Ren and Stimpy. They’re way existential.” — Cher
  48. “You been jeepin’ around behind my back?” – Murray
  49. “I don’t get it. Did my hair get flat? Did I stumble into some bad lighting? What’s wrong with me?” — Cher
  50. “No, she’s a full-on Monet. It’s like a painting, see? From far away, it’s OK, but up close, it’s a big old mess” – Cher
  51. “Besides, the PC term is ‘hymenally challenged.’” – Dionne
  52. “I had an overwhelming sense of ickiness.” – Cher
  53. “So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so.” — Cher
  54. “Let’s do a makeover!” – Cher
  55. “May I please remind you that it does not say ‘RSVP’ on the Statue of Liberty.” – Cher
  56. “He does dress better than I do. What would I bring to the relationship?” – Cher
  57. “I’m audi.” – Cher

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