From The Confessional: Credit Card Purchases Are Ruining A Lot Of Marriages

by Cassandra Stone
Guido Mieth/Getty

For a lot of marriages, finances are the #1 cause of fights and unhappiness. A lot of moms are sharing that credit cards are making things rough at home.

Money money money…MONEY: the most common cause of marital strife, because debt is a b*tch. Debt is a common and heavy burden on many Americans — about 40% of households carry consumer debt, which can include student loans and car payments as well as credit cards. When it comes to credit cards, however, those who carry them owe an average of $5000-7000. Which is not going down well in many marriages, according to our Confessional.

Research shows that carrying consumer debt can take a toll on your marriage—especially if you and your spouse tend to fight about it. In a study of more than 4500 married couples, researchers saw that couples who took on more debt over time became more likely to divorce. Couples with higher debt also tend to fight more about money and reported lower marital satisfaction.

DH insisted in running our finances and he sucks at it. Found out we’re in huge debt. Fuck that, I took over and paid off credit cards. So stupid to just pay minimum, geez!

Confessional #25794043

If H & I e er split up, it won't be because of adultery, abuse, drugs/alcohol, parenting differences or a sexless marriage. No. It will be because he has the financial savvy of a teenager with credit cards. And I'm not going to be poor because of him!

Confessional #25767203

We’ve racked up so many credit cards that we have no extra money each month, living paycheck to paycheck bc of minimum payments FML. I am so dumb

Confessional #25246047

The thing about credit cards is when you get approved for one with a decent limit, it’s so hard not to whip it out and pay for things you want and need. And when things are tight financially, many people don’t have a choice but to rely on them.

DH has 15 credit cards, can't figure out what statement goes with which, and gets mad at me because he doesn't know how to use the new card member points or benefits. If he applies for one more credit card, I will divorce him.

Confessional #23999828

Finally got my bankruptcy off my credit report and was able to get credit cards again now I’ve got myself in way too much credit card debt again! damn it what the fuck is wrong with me?! Really hope I can get it all paid down this time

Confessional #21881809

H called me "negligent" for letting my credit cards fall behind. What did you think would happen taking a 40k pay cut to be PTSahm ? Constantly complained about me not being home. You didnt think I'd need some of your $ to survive?

Confessional #20956912

In the study, researchers also found that taking on credit card debt was linked to lower marriage satisfaction (though paying them off was linked to higher satisfaction, natch). And when couples took on debt, they tended to fight more, spend less time with each other, and perceive unfairness in how money was handled in their marriage. Which means fights, fights, and more fights.

I cleaned out the pile of papers my hoarder DH had in the dining room. Found a stack of debit/credit cards. He swears he never saw them but I don't open mail in his name. He never looks at stuff just sticks it somewhere to deal with later.

Confessional #20680535

Somebody please help me! Take away my debit and credit cards! I’m developing an Ugg obsession and can’t stop buying them!

Confessional #19906558

DH is 40, unemployed, with our DD in FT daycare. I work FT plus OT every week. Our credit cards are maxed out over $50k. He told me today he wants to go to grad school next fall. Yeah, and I want a purple unicorn. Wish I'd said that out loud.

Confessional #19305070

Some couples are able to figure out a debt strategy that works for them while others, well, that’s not entirely realistic. Which is causing major drama in the Confessional.

Maybe someday I will not have to rely on credit cards for daily necessities like food.

Confessional #18804020

I associate middle class with entitlement. I do X so I deserve Y. Even if Y means running up credit cards or treating your house's equity like an ATM.

Confessional #18479962

DH and I are nearly $100,000 in debt from school, car, and credit cards. Whenever I think about it the weight crushes me until I feel like I’m going to vomit. I have no idea how we’re going to pay it back.

Confessional #17590322

Sending out major positive vibes to everyone struggling right now. 2020 is a rough year, the economy is in the tank, and things are tight. You’re not alone and you’re doing your best!