'Hella Queer' Demi Lovato Says She's 'Too Gay To Marry A Man Right Now'

by Julie Scagell
Demi Lovato
Handout/Biden Inaugural Committee via Getty Images

Lovato is raw and open in her latest interview and we love her for it

Demi Lovato sat down with Entertainment Weekly for a raw and open interview. In it, she talks about her new album, her 2018 overdose on fentanyl, her heart attack, brain damage, multiple strokes, and her stint in rehab. While it’s hard to read about everything she’s been through, Lovato says it’s all those things that led her to where she is today and gives her the ability to be open about her life and the fact that she’s proudly “really, really queer.”

With her album Dancing with the Devil… the Art of Starting Over just days away from release, Lovato went into detail about the song’s messages and her growth as a woman in the past year. “It’s not about future tripping,” she said of the album. “And it’s not about dwelling on the past.”

In the interview, Lovato also discussed her brief engagement to Max Ehrich, whom she began dating when the pandemic hit.

By July, they were engaged and two months later, they broke up.

“I really had myself fooled, because it was the safe and expected thing,” she told EW.

“Obviously I cared deeply about the person, but there was something inside of me that was like, ‘I have to prove to the world that I’m okay.’ Now that I’m not engaged or married and I’m okay, I’m like, ‘Wow. Isn’t that so much more empowering?’ It’s not this false sense of security. Regardless if drama is happening or not, I am too gay to marry a man right now,” she said about that time. “I don’t know if that will change in 10 years and I don’t know if that’ll never change, but I love accepting myself.”

She also explained she doesn’t need — at least for now — to mold herself into a “tradition that was placed upon us by the patriarchy,” saying, “I don’t need an object on my finger to make me feel like I’ve got my shit together. It looks like stability, but it doesn’t mean that it is. And I don’t actually grow through stability. I find that I like living not in chaos or crisis, but in fluidity.”

Lovato said it was during this time, and also with age, that he realized she was queer.

“When I started getting older, I started realizing how queer I really am,” she explained. “This past year, I was engaged to a man, and when it didn’t work, I was like, This is a huge sign…I felt this sense of relief that I could live my truth.”

Though she released music in the past that touched on her bisexuality, like in the song “Cool for the Summer” in 2015, she wasn’t ready to share her truth with the world.

“I never said anything,” Lovato said. “Gender norms and sexuality norms aside, I kind of felt a prisoner to my entire career and childhood growing up in the South as a Christian.”

At 28, Lovato now seems ready to explore that side of herself.

“I do have a lot of joy in my life today that has really come from spending so much time with myself. Yeah.” Lovato said. “And — she’s also really queer. Really, really queer.”