When you think of drums, the first thing that may come to mind is the headache you get any time your child has access to them. And given that drums are the oldest musical instruments in the world, odds are parents throughout history have felt the same way about them. But in the hands of professionals, drums can be pretty great. They’re the driving force behind a rock band — and, let’s face it, drummers are characters. In fact, they kinda have to be to stand out while stuck at the back of the stage. So, after years of drummers like Ringo Starr, Dave Grohl, and Animal from The Muppets entertaining us while they keep the beat, the least we can do is give you some drummer jokes (and yes, some drummer puns — why not?) to make you and your little percussionist laugh.
Besides, with the holidays upon us, it’s entirely possible that a well-meaning family member or friend will gift your kid a drum set. And you know how the saying goes: If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. You may not be ready to break out your own set of drumsticks, but you can embrace the chaos by bonding with your little drummer boy (or girl or non-binary child) over drummer jokes and other percussionist-themed humor. So, rock, er, read on.
Drummer Jokes and Puns
- What is a drummer’s favorite food for dinner?
- What happened to the drummer who hit his head?
He got a percussion.
- How would a drummer address his daughters?
Anna one, Anna Two.
- Who is the wealthiest drummer of all time?
- How would a drum sound when a half-dead fish is dropped on it?
It would be a dramatic drum roll.
- What would you call a drummer who keeps procrastinating?
An expert in beating around the bush.
- Why is it so difficult to defeat a drummer in billiards?
Because they are hard to beat.
- What would you call a drummer who loves boxing?
- Why aren’t many drummers worried about getting their drums stolen?
Because they took percussions.
- How is a drum solo like an earthquake?
It will shake you to your core.
- How do you recognize a drummer at your door?
The knocking speeds up.
- Why is a fantastic drum solo like a sneeze?
They both make your heart skip a beat.
- Why can a drummer never be late?
Because he always beats the clock.
- What’s a fish’s favorite musical genre?
- I’ve got a drummer joke…
But it’s hard to beat.
- What would a drummer’s favorite chapter of algebra be?
- What would happen if a drummer lost one of his drumsticks?
He would skip a heartbeat.
- What band do scientists love?
- What is the difference between a drummer and a guitar?
A drummer has no strings attached.
- What is a thing a drummer says when someone asks him about his earnings?
“I’m Rich, Buddy!”
- Did you hear the loud noises coming from the loft?
It was very drum-attic.
- Why should a drummer know geometry?
To master his musical scales.
- What would happen if a sheep, a drum, and a snake all fell together?
Baaa dum tssss!
- If a drummer was a producer of Alice in Wonderland, who would he choose as a prince?
- How many drummers does it take to screw a light bulb?
Five, one to screw and the others to watch and say, “Yeah, we too can do it.”
- In what band could the drummer never say no to any offers?
- What would a drummer’s go-to bakery be?
- What is the main distinction between a bull and a drummer?
A bull knows when to quit beating.
- Which band’s drummer would not need to go to the hospital if he was injured?
- Which band would have drummers who have drumming coming from within?
- How is a drum solo like a sneeze?
You know both are coming, but you can’t stop it.
- What would you call a drummer who lost his arms and legs in an accident?
- What’s the last thing a drummer says in a KFC establishment?
“Would you prefer to have drumsticks with one of my songs?”
- Why does everyone keep saying that drummers always lose their watches?
They know drummers have trouble keeping time.
- Ever wondered what a drummer’s favorite Pokemon is?
- Who would a drummer call if she had electricity issues at her house?
- How can you tell if a stage is level?
The drummer is drooling from both sides of his mouth.
- Who does a drummer listen to while stargazing?
- Who is the favorite drummer of an astronaut?
- At a concert, someone asked, “How late does the band play?”
Someone replied, “Just about half a beat behind the drummer.”
- What band has drummers who love growing and grooming their nails?
Nine Inch Nails.
- What’s the biggest lie told to a drummer?
“Hang on and I’ll help you with your gear.”
- Did you hear about the drummer who beat around the bush?
Yes, he’s in treble.
- Did you hear about the drummer who took his whole family to watch a movie about drums?
They watched Drum and Drummer.
- What is the main commonality between a wrestler and a drummer?
They both break records by beating.
- How many drummers does it take to solve a math problem?
A one… a two… a one, two, three four!
- Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?
It took an hour to get the bass player out.
- How can you tell when a drummer’s at the door?
He doesn’t know when to come in.
- How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
Five — one to screw the bulb in and four to talk about how much better Neil Peart coulda done it.
- Ancient proverb: “If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.”
- What’s a drummer’s favorite vegetable?
- A drummer got a tattoo of their drum kit on their arm.
It was very cymbalic.
- What is a drummer’s favorite time of day?
- Why are drummers impulsive?
They never consider the repercussions.
- I’m addicted to being a lousy drummer.
I wanted to quit, but I just couldn’t beat it.
- What do you call the beautiful woman on the arm of a drummer?
- Why is a broken drum the best present you can give someone?
Because you just can’t beat it.
- I’m thinking of picking up a new drum set. Any advice?
Don’t worry about it. They aren’t as heavy as they look.
- The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 25 minutes, and it was performed by a child sitting behind me on a flight from Los Angeles to Tokyo.
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