'The Bachelor' Star Rachael Kirkconnell Opens Up About Identifying As Demisexual
She says she hasn't had sex “in years” despite a long-term relationship with 'The Bachelor' star, Matt James.
Former The Bachelor contestant, Rachael Kirkconnell, opened up about her personal life during a recent podcast appearance, revealing she hasn’t had sex “in years,” despite only recently splitting from her longtime boyfriend Matt James in January 2025.
On the latest episode of Extra Dirty, Kirkconnell admits her long dry spell has her feeling like she’s starting from scratch.
“I feel like a virgin again,” she said. “I haven’t had sex way longer than you think. I’ll just put it that way. It’s been years. Years. It has been so long.”
Kirkconnell explained that the break from physical intimacy has changed her mindset on sex, adding, “And that’s why I’m saying like I feel like a virgin again to where I don’t want to just give it up to anyone.”
“It’s like almost like I can’t just like, hook up with someone random at this point because it’s been so long that I want it to be incredible,” she continued. “I’ve been so chronically single. I haven’t been on a single date. I’m not on the apps.”
“I’m not judging anyone who is on the apps, but I just don’t think that would work well for me. But honestly, if it gets to a point, I might have to jump on them.”
Kirkconnell also shared that she identifies as demisexual, meaning she only feels sexual attraction once she’s developed a deep emotional connection with someone.
“I can say, ‘Wow, that person is really attractive.’ I obviously find them really attractive, I think they’re really hot, but I don’t care after that, cause they could still be like a terrible person or have the worst personality ever, and that would make me not want to sleep with them because that totally turns me off.”
“I guess their attraction can only get so far for me. Maybe that's my problem, I don't know.”
Kirkconnell and James first met on his season of The Bachelor in 2020. After their split, she claimed James announced the breakup on Instagram just “three hours” after ending things while they were on vacation in Tokyo.
On the Call Her Daddy podcast, Kirkconnell laid out the reason for their breakup.
“He said that at the end of the day, there were just qualities about me that he worries about having in a wife. There are things that we aren’t compatible with, and the whole accountability and saying sorry and all that was really the main thing,” she explained.
She continued, “It was just one of those things where he, I think, just had this realization that ‘I should want to propose to you by this time. Like, at this point in our relationship, I should be wanting those things and I should be ready for that. But I’m not still. I still don’t feel like we’re ready or I don’t feel like I’m ready. I don’t know if I ever see myself proposing to you. I can’t actually see myself married to you."'
