Stranger Things’ Cara Buono Talks About *That* Season 5 Karen Wheeler Scene

When Stranger Things premiered back in 2016, the kids of Hawkins were still little, the Demogorgon had just begun its reign of terror, and Cara Buono’s Karen Wheeler was the picture of a classic ‘80s suburban mom: big hair, a wood-paneled station wagon, pastel button-up blouses (and perhaps an undercurrent of quiet discontent?). Nearly a decade — and several trips to the Upside Down — later, the series has become a full-on global phenomenon, the kids are grown, and Buono has earned an unofficial forever title from fans: “Hawkins’ mom.”

It’s a nickname she proudly carries, and one that works onscreen and off. In addition to serving as a sort of surrogate set mom for the young cast over the years, she’s been raising her own now-teen daughter along the way. Esme, who was a toddler when the show began, has quite literally grown up alongside the young cast. (If you want to cry, read Buono’s sweet post about how “every version” of her daughter still lives in her.)

Now, as Stranger Things draws closer to its conclusion with the fifth and final season currently unfolding, Buono is reflecting on the end of an era, and on the very real chapter of motherhood that’s been playing out just outside the frame. She spoke with Scary Mommy about saying goodbye to Hawkins, why this has been a standout job in a career that also includes The Sopranos and Mad Men, and what it means to step into a wine-bottle-wielding moment of maternal ferocity in the opening episodes of Season 5.

SM: We’ve all watched these kids grow up over the last decade, but you’ve really seen their evolution. What has that been like for you, especially as a mom?

CB: I love working with kids. I know not a lot of actors, I think, feel that way. The Duffers love kids. So it was a perfect situation for me. I mean, my daughter was just turning 3 when I started the show, so I got to bring her a lot. She'd run around, and I have all these great, hilarious pictures of her watching them and playing with them ... it was such a great thing for me.

Having one child, too, with no siblings, she also got embraced by all of the kids, and that's half their life. It's the formative years growing up in the spotlight. I felt like I was their de facto mom, and I would say quite a few of them feel that way, and I'm really happy about that. I will take that title and be their additional mom.

I've been on some great shows like Mad Men and The Sopranos, and those have been amazing. But I would say this has been my favorite because of the cast.

SM: I love how the internet calls you Hawkins' mom. You are the Stranger Things mom!

CB: I think a lot of times when an actress becomes a certain age, suddenly they get the mom auditions, and they start to freak out. They're like, "Oh my God, I'm the mom now." Or, "I don't want to play just the mom." And I think what they're trying to articulate is I want a well-rounded character, a character who's going through something with some dimension. And we tend to put moms in this category of saying mom things and making the lunches. But I just never subscribed to that because, first of all, moms are responsible for so much. We all love our moms.

I love being called a Hawkins mom. I'm happy for that. I love it when other kids come up to me, and they want to hug me and just think I'm their mom. I totally think that is a compliment.

SM: Did you keep anything from the set, like a little souvenir or memento?

CB: I took a lot of stuff. I have a whole box of wardrobe stuff, from my bathing suit and a workout thing. And I took other clothes that weren't mine, but no one's missing them. I took some props from the house, from the kitchen, some magnets, and some very specific things, some books. They made a romance novel in Season 2 that I'm reading in the tub that has an actual drawing of Dacre Montgomery on it. I have that in my bookshelf, which is pretty funny. And in the end, the Duffers gave me a gift that I actually was asking the props for, and they kept deflecting it, but it turns out that the Duffers were planning to give it to me.

SM: That's so sweet.

CB: Yeah, when I get back to New York, they actually put it in a box and gave it to me, and it made me cry … So what they gave me was the wine bottle.

SM: Such a good moment in the Season 5 opener because, to me, it’s just such a testament to the ferocity of moms when our children are threatened. What was it like stepping into that moment?

CB: I was ready for it. I thought, This makes sense for Karen. Who knows what she's been keeping bottled up? Literally. I would always joke that Karen is such the epitome of the clueless ‘80s mom. It got to be sort of the joke of it all, which I enjoyed playing, but also as an actor, I was like, "Well, how do I really justify this?" So I always said that she always got drunk. We never saw it, but she started drinking wine at 4 PM, and she was always drunk. We just never really saw it. And they incorporated that, which was fantastic.

We didn't do any real fight training for it, but there's a lot of choreography for it, and I just jumped right into it. We had our great stunts guy, and it was a lot of shooting days. It's funny when you see it, and it's pretty short; you think, "Wow, we shot that for several days."

And Nell Fisher, who plays the new Holly, is amazing. It was fun because she was the only child. Everyone was growing up, so we don't have a 12-year-old around anymore.

SM: Does anything else stand out about your standoff scene with the Demogorgon?

CB: I have a funny thing about the stabbing part. I really wanted to make it look like she was strong, almost like she was keeping my other foot, like I was boxing. And I kept doing it over and over ... and I injured my shoulder quite badly. I mean, not seriously, but I needed to go deal with it. When I went to see the orthopedic, I was trying to explain to him, "I can't move it. It's really stiff because of this thing I did at work."

We talk about perimenopause, and they talk about frozen shoulder. So on one hand, it was great that this doctor was like, "I think you have frozen shoulder." But I’m like, "I promise you it's not frozen shoulder. I'm good." He's like, "It's frozen shoulder." And he was trying to convince me, I was like, "Look, I'm going to show you a little video of something, and you're my doctor, so I know you're not going to say this, but let me show you." So I put my phone up to the screen because we were going over my X-ray, and he's like, "Oh, oh, OK. It's not a frozen shoulder."

SM: Oh my God, I love this. As you said, it’s great that he’s not being dismissive, but…

CB: Yeah. He read the memo about what women complain about, but I'm like, "Just look at this sequence and don't tell anybody."

SM: This show is obviously SO nostalgic, and Karen is so very ‘80s-mom-coded. What’s the most ’80s mom thing you do in real life?

CB: I'm not a very helicoptery parent. I mean, we live in New York, so I have to know where she's going and all, but I think I just... if you ask my daughter, she would say I don't put a lot of pressure on her to do anything. I mean, maybe that's going to be the wrong thing, but I think kids today just have so much surveillance and so much information. I just try to keep it kind of light in that way.

SM: I stumbled across a post where you gave Karen Wheeler life lessons, and one of them was “Mothers are whole people, too… you can love your family and still crave something more for yourself.” I feel like women are just really starting to be comfortable saying this out loud and unpacking it. How do you feel your identity as a woman and a mother changed over the decade you worked on this show?

CB: Wow. I think as moms, we prioritize our kids. We make all of our decisions about where we live: Is it near a good school district? Our work: I'm only going to miss two days at a certain age. Now that she's older, I'll be away longer. So in everything, we put them first ... as we should. I love that, and I feel like my job is to grow her to be who she's going to be in this world.

But also, I show her the example that I'm lucky enough to have a career that I love. She sees me doing something I love that does sometimes take me away from her, that does make me make certain decisions about how I spend my time, and that to be the best mom, you also have to fulfill your own needs.

Whether that's taking a half day and going to do something — wander the city or sit in a museum, or get a foot massage, or go have coffee with a friend — finding that time for yourself because it is all-consuming ... there's so much to take care of, just logistics-wise, and then wanting to spend time with them in a meaningful way. I think it's seeking out help if you're lucky enough to have family or can afford some help, which a lot of people have to do today because they don't live near their families, and not being apologetic about it. And I think there's a lot more conversation around that today than there ever was.

But I hope that if she decides to become a parent, she'll feel the joy and beauty of that, of prioritizing your child, but not forgetting who you are as a person, what things you like to do, and still being your whole self. Because honestly, it's just a matter of hours in the day a lot of the time.

This interview has been edited lightly for length and clarity.