Iliza Shlesinger's Super Honest Birth Announcement Has Us Rolling

Iliza Shlesinger At The Audi pre-Emmy Event
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - SEPTEMBER 19: Iliza Shlesinger attends the Audi pre-Emmy celebration at Sunset Tower in Hollywood on Thursday, September 19, 2019. (Photo by Rich Polk/Getty Images for Audi)

The comedian’s post about her delivery experience is both real and hilarious

Sometimes it feels like celebrity birth announcements and birthing stories are from another planet: the perfect pictures, the makeup and hair support in the delivery room, the complete skimming over of all of less-pretty parts of pushing a baby out of your body.

Not so when a stand-up comedian gives birth. Comic Iliza Shlesinger welcomed her first child into the world on January 13 — and her first two social media posts are truth bombs that had us LOLing in solidarity.

The first pictures not the perfect mom with the perfect smile holding the perfect baby, but a shot of Shlesinger housing a submarine sandwich while wearing the Infamous Mesh Undies — with her baby peacefully sleeping in the foreground.

As most people who have given birth know, her first order of business was to talk about food.

“I gave birth late at night (because that’s when I work) and there was no food available at 1:30am,” she writes. “Noah went to a vending machine and came back with chips and cookies, basically prison commissary food. I think he paid for them in cigarettes. So this is me finally getting to eat a Bay Cities Godmother at noon the next day.”

She added: “Vaginal delivery mothers knows why I’m eating sitting side saddle wearing exclusive Mesh Underwear for SS22.”

She also shared in the post that she won’t be sharing pictures of her little one, saying, “She is gorgeous but her face is hers to share, not mine. So while I won’t show her, I will share us. I will be processing this comedically, artistically and spiritually for the rest of my life and I can’t wait.”

We can’t wait either.

She also took a bit of time to be serious.

“I had been dreaming of the moment they would pull her out and put her on my chest and I could look at her little face. I got what I came for. That perfect moment,” she writes. “I’m in awe of this experience: mothers who do this without epidurals, single mothers, mothers without support and just what a woman is capable of physically and mentally.”

Anyway, here are the facts: according to People, the 38-year-old entertainer and her husband, Noah Galuten, welcomed their daughter Sierra Mae into the world in Los Angeles on Thursday, Jan. 13, at 11:26 p.m., weighing 7 lbs., 9 oz. and measuring 20 inches.

In addition to the mesh underwear sandwich shot, she also included several pictures of her, her partner, and Sierra, as well as one of their dog Tian Fu meeting the new member of the family.

“Tian Fu has gone from nonplussed to apprehensive to reluctant acceptance,” she writes. “She’s still baby though.”

Shlesinger also posted a video of her thoughts and feeling during active labor.

“If men could feel this pain,” she says, “You’d be a lot nicer to women.”

“When you’re in here, your clam is out,” she reflects at another point, saying what basically everyone else who has given birth had been thinking.

We’re looking forward to hearing a whole lot more similar thoughts on motherhood.