The 'Never Have I Ever' Creator sat down to talk about how she never envisioned herself as a single mom — but is loving every second of it.
Mindy Kaling has always been transparent about how she is completely fine being a single parent. Still, Kaling still faces awkward moments as a single mom, as she recently explained on the latest episode of Meghan Markle’s Archetypes podcast.
“When you’re a certain age and you’re a single woman, and if you go to a party, it bums people out,” Kaling said. Even your existence as a single woman in a party where it’s married people, or just a regular party with single guys or something, you get this feeling that you’re like, Oh, I’m changing the vibe here, because everyone’s worried about me or sad for me.”
She continued to explain how friends try to set her up with single men they know, simply because there is no way she is content being a successful, single mom of two! “They want to set me up with some loser they know,” she continued. “And I’m like, ‘I’m okay. I’m a rich, successful woman with great clothes and a nice family.’”
Kaling also spoke at length about how she never envisioned herself as the single mom. She welcomed her first child, Katherine (4), in December 2017, and she surprised everyone when she announced the arrival of her second child Spencer (2) in September 2020.
“Growing up I used to write in journals, ‘I'm going to be married to a guy named Josh and we're going to have five children. I'm gonna start having kids when I'm 24.’ But 24 came and went — no Josh, no marriage, no four kids,” she shared.
“I started as a writer on The Office when I was 24. And the idea of starting children at that same time — you know how all consuming it is. When you get that first job course I was just happy to be in SAG, and then this idea that you would jeopardize any of that with something personal —I was just so focused on keeping that job and earning money and earning a good reputation professionally. So it just happened. I would be in these relationships and in the cold light of day when I looked at them and ask, ‘Could this be a person who I could share life with?’ And the answer would be no. Often I'd be in relationships because I wanted someone to go to the Arclight with on a Saturday night, so I didn't have to go see a movie by myself.”
Despite being a drastic departure from her teen diaries, Kaling wouldn’t have motherhood any other way. “I am often amazed at how different my life looks,” Kaling noted. “Now, I'm 43, I have two kids. I live with a nanny whom I love. She's like my great friend, and [I have] my dad, my stepmom — you know, my immediate family. It's funny how different it is from what I imagined when I was 13, 14 years old.”
Back in January, Kaling talked to Yahoo Life for its So Mini Ways series about whether or not she sees a co-parent at any point in her future.
“I think of myself as my kids' parent, and if I have someone that comes into my life down the line, that would be great, but I don't think it's their responsibility. It's mine,” she said at the time. “They're just, like, my blood; they're my responsibility. I'm not in a place now where I would necessarily want or need that from somebody else, to have someone else step in as a co-parent.”
Parenthood looks different for everyone, and it looks like single parenting is working well for Kaling. And on behalf of Kaling and other single moms, please, do not set up your single parent friends unless they ask.