9 Movies I Can Never Watch Again After Having Kids
Seriously, some of these are so upsetting.
There are some movies that just stick with you forever. Some in really good ways, some in really terrifying ways, and some in ways you weren’t expecting. For me, becoming a mom meant that I suddenly had a list of movies I could truly never watch again. And I don’t just mean movies that make you think, “Oh, this hits a little harder now that I have kids,” I mean movies that I would literally run from if someone said I had to sit through and watch from beginning to end. Becoming a mom changes you, but I was not expecting motherhood to give me a list of movies to avoid for the rest of my life.
The same thing happened with Law & Order: SVU. Before I had my first daughter, I could watch it for hours, bingeing one episode after another. Now, the thought of listening to a whole hour-long procedural about a kid being hurt or a young girl being assaulted or any other horrifying thing that happens on that show is too much. My aversion to things like this became worse with each of my daughters’ births, and by the time my husband and I had our third girl, we could barely stomach a lot of shows and movies we once enjoyed.
So join me in shielding your eyes and making an enormously loud “yeeeechughhhhh” noise anytime someone mentions one of these movies. Kids completely change your DNA — and apparently also what you can handle in a movie plot.
Pet Sematary
I saw Pet Sematary as a kid (way too young to be watching such a terrifying movie) and then tried to watch it again as an adult, and it’s a big fat nope from me. I can handle spooky stuff, but witnessing a father’s grief in real time, seeing a small child literally die in an accident, and then having that small child become a reanimated, murderous, evil zombie? Absolutely not, no thank you.
Case 39
Few movies leave me reeling when they’re over like Case 39 did. The scene where Renee Zellweger, playing a social worker, breaks down the door of a family she suspects is abusing their daughter to find that they’re trying to shove their daughter into an oven is terrifying enough. And then the movie shows you why they were trying to do just that, and ugh. It’s all just too much. It makes me want to wrap my own girls up in my arms and also, maybe, if I’m being honest, keep them at arm’s length.
The Lovely Bones
When The Lovely Bones was released, I had no idea what it was going to be about. I don’t think 21-year-old me really loved it, but thought it was a good move in the way 21-year-olds do. But now, as a late 30s mom of three? Specifically, three daughters? Oh, hell no. When even Stanley Tucci says he would not play his role as a serial killer of young girls again, you know it’s going to absolutely demolish you to watch. It’s heartbreaking and terrifying and just makes me feel sick to even think about.
Poltergeist
A creepy kid is always scary in a movie, but imagining your own 5-year-old whispering, “They’re here,” and disappearing into a ghost portal? Nope, nope, nope. Poltergeist totally scarred me as a kid, and now I know I can’t handle it as a parent.
The Good Son
For whatever reason, The Good Son was one of my favorite movies when I was a kid. I obviously loved Macauley Culkin and Elijah Wood, but beyond that, the movie is so upsetting. Elijah Wood’s character has lost his mom, and his dad hopes that living with his cousin, played by Macaulay Culkin, and his family will help. But it’s obvious that Culkin’s character is not quite right, and the scenes with his own mother realizing her son might be a psychopath are both chilling and heartbreaking. I genuinely don’t think I can sit through this one now that I have my own kids.
Thirteen
When you watch Thirteen as a young girl, you can convince yourself that it’s kind of the perfect warning movie about not mixing in with the wrong crowds, about truly loving yourself, and about always reaching out when you need help. But when you watch Thirteen as a parent of girls, all you can see is your nightmares playing out on screen. No, thank you. (But maybe I’ll let my daughters watch when they’re older so we can discuss.)
We Need to Talk About Kevin
I remember when We Need to Talk About Kevin was released, and everyone was talking about what a great movie it was. It’s the kind of drama that you just know actors felt really good about sinking their teeth into, but oh man, it’s a lot to watch. And as a parent, the thought of your children suffering so much and of also being completely alienated and trapped by their own mind to the point of causing violence is heart-wrenching.
The Mist
To be fair, I saw The Mist when I was already a parent because my husband told me it was a great horror movie. He’s not wrong, but the ending will absolutely gut you. I think I sat in the living room in the dark for a long time after the credits were over, just reeling from it. (There are also some pretty terrifying scenes throughout the movie that remind you our own worst enemy might always just be other people.)
Casper
OK, so technically Casper isn’t one we have to completely swear off, but it absolutely hits different watching it as an adult. Poor Casper was just a sweet little kid who got sick and died — and his dad spent the rest of his life trying to get his son back, even for just one day. So heartbreaking.
