From The Confessional: Our Celebrity Crushes Are The Best Pandemic Escape There Is

by Team Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 
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We’ve all had them—some of us since kindergarten. Realizing the boy or girl across the room gave you the belly flutters. Dreaming of marrying them and doodling their name on your notebook. Then, as we get older, our thoughts turn… well, into adult thoughts. An actor or singer or maybe the UPS man—hey, no judgment here—suddenly appears in your dreams and you wake up with the warm and tinglies. Boom, you’ve got a crush.

So who’s on your list? Brad Pitt? Tyson Beckford? Maybe you’re into the older crowd. Bernie Sanders? (Universal healthcare is hot.) Meryl Streep? Or how about someone young and trendy who will make you forget you’re a mom wiping shit off the rug? Someone like Harry Styles? Or Zendaya?

Whoever it is, we say crush on. Have those fantasies, dream those dreams, and let your mind go to a happy place, far away from the grueling day to life that is mothering during a pandemic. Even if that happy place means you’re in bed with Ironman on side of you and Black Widow on the other. Superheroes are sexy—we get it.

Reliving all my 90's t.v. crushes during this pandemic: Max from Roswell, Angel from Buffy, they were fine then and they're fine now.

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I have a tiny crush on Zed from Zombies. I'm old enough to be his mom.

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I have a major crush on post malone. I would do anything to him and vice versa. Oops

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Sometimes our crushes make us feel nostalgic and long for our youth. Sometimes they make us realize we’re turned on by face tattoos. Crushes are like that.

Oh my god. I am such a loser getting a crush on a booktuber, Daniel Greene. He's everything my husband is not. He is considerate, funny and a big feminist. He is super cute to boot. Why oh why did I never meet someone like him IRL???

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Have a huge crush on Rob Raco. Something about the olive skin, abundant dark hair and wide, dreamy ice blue eyes, accompanied by that body, is swoon worthy!

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Jason Momoa reminds me of a caveman. A sexy caveman.

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I have a thing for Jon Snow. Not Kit Harrington, Jon Snow. He’s so manly and dirty and Mmmm...

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Crushes sometimes make us learn new things about ourselves—like that we’re turned on by cavemen. Or that feminism is really sexy. Or that we really just want a dirty, fur-covered King in the North to bend us over the kitchen sink.

I have a crush on Soren from Dragon Prince

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I just binged Imposters and have a massive crush on Inbar Lavi.

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Even though you literally only see Pedro Pascal without the helmet once in the entire season, I think Mando is sexy.

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We may not see them coming. We’re just binge-ing the latest hit show on Netflix, pouring our second glass of wine, taking that big long “the kids are finally asleep” breath, and boom. The Mandalorian suddenly has us thinking dirty thoughts.

I wish that I was married to a sexy, smart woman like Aileen Wuornos instead of my lazy, fat slob husband.

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Listening to Hillary Clinton on Howard Stern. Her assertive, incredibly smart brain is so fn sexy. Damn, I want her.

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And then there’s powerful women who take zero shit. And if that’s not a turn on, what is?

Adam Driver is so sexy

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Daniel Goldman is so fucking sexy.

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Jon Snow is okay but Tyrion from Game of Thrones is fucking hot! The things I would do to that man.

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We’ve got crushes on Kylo-Ren. We’ve got crushes on people who try to take down our slimy president. And we’ve got crushes on pretty much the entire GOT cast. There’s a lot of fish in the sea, friends. A hottie for everyone!

Mark Ruffalo really, really does it for me. I've never had a celebrity crush before. 42 married mom of two and I sometimes just let myself fantasize about him fucking me until I can barely walk. I'm so jealous of his wife.

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I’d never tell anyone this. If I had the chance I would totally fuck Alfred Molina’s brains out. His voice and accent are so damn sexy.

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And there’s a spectrum on crushes, isn’t there? From “Oh, that person is attractive” to “I want to fuck your brains out.” Kind of like zero to 100.

I had the sexiest dream that I met Doja Cat and she let me flirt/ feel her up. I can still feel her breasts in my hand. We wouldve had sex but we were in public. 31 yr old mother here lol

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Had sex dreams about Dracula from that cheesy Netflix series and Baelish from GOT both in one night and it was incredibly hot. I'm going to hell.

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I had a dream last night that I was dating Idris Elba. In the middle of grinding on his shirtless body, I paused and thought "this is too good-I must be dreaming" and woke up. Damnit!!

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Crush dreams are the best dreams, aren’t they? Until your 3-year-old wakes you up at 5:45 a.m. asking for a cookie and telling you they peed the bed. But until then, dreaming of Dracula sex might be the highlight of your week.

Celebrity crushes are our favorite kind because they’re usually pretty innocent and serve as the perfect mental escape from the shit-storm that is our life—especially this year. Who knows? Maybe Idris Elba will ring my doorbell, clean my house, homeschool my kids, and then lead me to bed. A girl can dream.

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