Parenting

From The Confessional: Wild, Funny, And Unexpected Confessions About Sex

by Team Scary Mommy
From The Confessional: Wild, Funny, And Unexpected Confessions About Sex
fizkes/Getty

I don’t know about you all, but quarantine life sucks. And I need a distraction, like reading people’s surprising sex confessions in our Scary Mommy confessional. Some of them you’ll be like yeah, I can relate. Sounds like me. And others will make your mouth drop open and you’ll find yourself saying “Umm…. what?”

But to each their own, right? If you get off on watching porn, enjoy it. If leaking your sex tape anonymously online turns you on, go for it. And If LL Cool J does it for you, get it girl. (Yes, that’s a confession. Read on…)

Because the truth is, marriage is hard. Parenting is hard. Quarantining is hard. So we might as well have a little fun with other “hard” things to make this time “suck” less… or more… depending on what you want.

Sometimes I make DH wear my underwear to work.

Confessional #25780151

DH starts flirting with me hours before we have sex. Lots of touching and innuendos. Keeps me wet for hours. I love the anticipation, and the orgasms.

Confessional #25778645

My husband went down on me while I was on the phone. When I finally had to hang up, I had two enormous orgasms. Then he smiled and put his shorts back on. He didn't want anything in return. FIRST TIME in 17 years. I was shocked and pleased.

Confessional #25780098

Anal sex saved our marriage

Confessional #24933324

Maybe living out your on-screen sexual fantasies gets it done. Worth a shot!

DH and I post naked pics of me on Reddit. Totally anonymous, we don't show my face, and it gets us both crazy turned on

Confessional #25780122

H told me he has been posting our homemade sex tapes on amateur websites. My only thought was let me see the comments.

Confessional #25778789

SO asked I ride him reverse cowgirl I refused but eventually tried it. I fkn love it. Feels so good. He videotaped my ass from his POV and I watch it over and over, my ass looks good!

Confessional #13141786

I sent pictures and old home videotapes to a service to convert them to digital on DVD's. When the DVD's arrived and I reviewed them, I realized I accidentally sent some homemade sex tapes we'd made. I'm mortified someone saw them - but also turned on.

Confessional #11370006

Or whatever other fantasies you’ve been having… even if you worry that they’re weird. Your mind and body are telling you something—so listen to it.

I know that DH would immediately think "threesome", but I just want to be sexual with another woman.

Confessional #25778531

It’s strange, I have no desire to have sex with H, but I have the HOTTEST sex dreams about him.

Confessional #25778608

Had a dream last night that an older, sexy dude with a deep voice was trying to get with me. He was tall and muscular. He held me for a long time. It felt like home. I've never seen him IRL. Married mom of 3 here.

Confessional #25778315

I have so many sexual fantasies that are religious-themed.

Confessional #25778303

And honestly, one of the best parts of adulting is knowing exactly what you like (and don’t like). So figure it out if you haven’t already, and make those Os happen.

I gave myself multiple O's for Mother's Day... Toys are awesome

Confessional #25780032

i just bought $120 worth of sex toys for myself because damn i need sex i have a high drive

Confessional #25778538

Even if learning our sexual truths isn’t always happy news, it’s important to learn from our experiences and make sure our sex lives are good for us, not just our partners.

I've been in relationships, had lots of casual sex, been happily single/celibate for long periods, had threesomes, been photographed nude, and explored most of my fetishes. I wonder if I will ever find the right balance of "yes....this is what I want".

Confessional #25778633

I used to feel good about my oral skills. Every guy I've ever given head to said it was "the best" he "ever had". Why did it take me til age 35 to realize they ALL said it, so it must be a line they use to trick us into giving more? I'm a dope.

Confessional #25748257

I love giving oral to my husband. But I feel like a weirdo because I make him wear a condom...no need to spit or swallow...just enjoy the flavored condom and go!

Confessional #25467921

Finally, if you simply just need some good old fashioned entertainment, or validation that lots of people have “unique” sexual fantasies and fetishes, just scroll our confessional. You might crave a Manwich, or read a “shitty” sex story that has happened to you. You never know.

Ok...well can no longer go doggy style and look down w/o getting hit in the face w my own tits... definitely NOT a part of aging I considered....

Confessional #25780145

I can never hear the name Man-wich without the first image in my head being a sexual threesome, NOT the sloppy-joe type sandwich you eat.

Confessional #25778411

I shit during anal with DH. I thought he would stop but he finished VERY big. Now I don't know if he's got a shit fetish or if he's just a trooper. No more back door for a while...

Confessional #23919212

Happy Sexy Quarantine, everyone! If there was ever a time to take a risk and hit record or try a new position, or do some online “toy shopping,” it’s now. I mean, we’ve got to pass this time somehow, right?